New here and back on the anxiety rollercoaster

[Molly06]

Hi All,

I have suffered from anxiety and depression since about 1992. When it first started I was in denial and didn't want to seek help as my father is bipolar and I thought that if I went for help I was admitting I was like him. I finally accepted I needed help and started on my path with anti depressants and coming on and off them.

For the last 8 years I have been on antidepressants full time as I finally realised I need them. I may have stopped once but only for a short time. The turning point for me came when one of my twins was born still and 3 months after this I was hospitalised for my anxiety / depression as a result of my loss and caring for a new Bub.

over the years I have good and bad years/ months etc. I have been on my new medication now for over 1 year and up until the last 6 months have been pretty good, however at the beginning of the year I started a new job and my daughter started having anxiety issues herself, she is 8. This has brought up my anxiety and I have been blaming myself for her being like this because of genetics.

I started to see a phychologist again bit2 weeks ago she suggested if I don't make some changes in my marriage it may end one day, this has caused all sorts of anxiety and has me questioning everything. Aside from the anxiety which I have been trying to take hold of with mindfulness exercises and positive thinking, trying to keep busy I have now started to become depressed, feeling very emotional. I'm scared that I'm letting it now take control and not sure what to do 😞

[City_skyline]

Hi molly06

if you look through your daughters eyes I don't think she would blame you for her anxiety

I have social anxiety and my mum has sckitafrenia and I don't blame her for what I have

i completly understand how anxiety can just eat you up

i also have my ups and downs and I try to stay as positive as i can

the only thing that has ever worked for me is meditation

anybody can meditate and there's nothing I'd recommend more

i really hope this helps

[Molly06]

Thank you so much for your reply

[blondguy]

Hi Molly

City Skyline has given some great advice above. Your wonderful daughter is only 8 and anxiety is not inherited and you cant pass it on. Your daughter will take her own course in life.I have had severe anxiety since 1983 and my daughter (who is 23) has not inherited any anxiety or its symptoms of me. I do understand where where you are coming from as a sufferer of anxiety disorder.

If I can give you a mega compliment for being such a pro-active and self aware person to have your support system all set up....your GP...your therapist and you have had the courage to get on the meds too. I was in denial from 1983 to 1997 until a legend female GP woke me up to the benefits of being on my AD's. I am still on them now and have my life back. If I may ask you Molly....how is your dad's bi-polar going?

You are more than welcome to post back as many times as you wish Molly...about anything:-)

I admire your courage

Paulx

[Molly06]

Hi,

my daughter has come in this morning having a panic attack because she has had a stomach bug and worried it will return. She's complaining of pains in her stomach and neck.

I don't know what to do as it sets me off to. I've played the smiling mind relaxation for her and it helps while it's on but she goes straight back into the panic afterwards.

my dad is pretty under control, he had a lot of ect which helped, although almost too much , he kind of became blank for a long time, years actually but now he is much better. Just making adjustments to his meds.

[geoff]

dear Molly, it's good that you have come to the site, and from reading so many posts you're not the first person to suffer from this, whetherthis helps you or perhaps it doesn't, but it may make you realise that it can be helped with.
I am truly sorry for your loss as I'm a twin as well and the thought of him not being with me would certainly make me feel the same as you do, but really you have a lot to cope with, just as your daughter would feel and the depth of the meaning from your comment is so deep because there is so much to consider here for you and your daughter, so before I continue on can I suggest that it would be good for you and your daughter to go and see the pychologist.
I need to take this easy for you. Geoff. x

[Molly06]

My daughter had a panic attack this morning and was hyperventilating . We managed to calm her down and then went on to have a fairly good day with her but as the day wore on and we got closer to night time she started worrying about tomorrow morning and having another attack. We talked it through and she was ok again and then tonight when I told her it was bed time it happened all over again.

I got really cranky with her and told her that the pains were because she was worrying about things and sent her off to bed crying and panicking, I sent my husband in to be with her because I am finding it so damn hard.

Her anxiety is triggering mine and I just don't know how to deal with it. All I want to do is hug her and give her everything she wants but reading things on this it says we shouldn't reward the behaviour in children because it can make it carry on.

This is so hard . How can I help her when I'm trying not to cry and gave her see me anxious. ?

[blondguy]

Hi Molly, You are in a tough place to try to help your daughter as you have the same issues. That is so sad that your daughter is suffering as she is...and at her age too. As Geoff mentioned the best course of action now would be for you and your daughter to see a psychologist asap. If that is prohibitive money wise a community mental health worker are free and are very effective.

As a person who has had anxiety since 1983 it would be very difficult to care for a child experiencing the same.

Please let us know how you are going Molly

My kind thoughts for you and your daughter

Paulx

[Molly06]

Thanks so much.

ive made an appt with my gp to get a referral for my daughter for next week.

i also have been doing the brave program with her.

last night I was at my wits end and asked her if she would like to call the kids help line and she said yes . I let her call in privacy and she was on the phone to them for an hour. They then spoke to me and said she did really well.

She woke up this morning so much happier, still little worries but nothing like last few days. It was such a relief.

im hoping it keeps staying positive but I will still be making an appt with gp and someone for her to talk to face to face.

Thank you so much for your care and concern, it really helps

[blondguy]

Hi Molly

I am so sad (and happy) that your 8 year old daughter called the kids help line....that has really touched me.

You are doing so very well as a mum with anxiety and your daughter too. When you are up to it can you please post back again

You are a gem Molly...

Paulx