New and a bit nervous

[Grace27]

Hi all,

This is my first time posting to a forum like this one. I am a single mother who works full time, and over the past few months, I've been feeling completely empty. I don't feel sad. I don't want to cry. I just feel really numb. I feel like I am manufacturing laughter, or anger, or whatever emotion I am supposed to show... I can't concentrate on my job, and this has fuelled further feelings of inadequacy - not just in my work life, but in my private life (feeling like a bad and useless mother). I am quite isolated at the moment, and really only see my parents on a regular basis (as well as my child). As it's only been a few months... I don't know if this feeling will last... but I really really hope it does as every day I wake up feeling defeated. I have never been diagnosed with depression - and I don't know what this is, other than knowing my mental health and wellbeing is taking a beating. I guess I'm just here to see if anyone could offer any advice, or if there is anyone here who might be going through something similar.

[Croix]

Dear Grace27~

Welcome here to the Forum, a frist time post can seem pretty daunting and trying to say how things are is not always easy, especially if you are dealing with things that are new to you.

Of course they are not new to many of us, so we can relate to how you feel. Feeling numb, not happy, not sad - sort of disconnected - is the sort of thing I've felt when in a bout of depression. Putting on the mask to show the outside world is common too, with expected emotions sort of simulated. Made me wonder what is wrong with me, not reacting like others, and having to hide how I really was.

This of course gets worse as feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness grow

So if you have these then you may be like me and need treatment and support. Trying to soldier on alone is just about impossible. Can I suggest you go see your GP and in a long consultation tell all about how you feel, it is worth the effort. If you think you might not say things clearly or completely face to face then write everything down first and share the paper. It could certainly be the start of great improvement.

A single mother who works full time faces all sorts of pressure and hardships, and this pressure is constant when looking after a child. You mentioned you are quite isolated at the moment and only see your parents regularly. Have you talked to them about this? Sharing the feelings and problems can make a big difference. Would they be able to help with your child occasionally to give you a break?

Is there anything in particular that have made life worse in recent months? Is the job one that makes things difficult?

You are not alone, we are hear and will listen with understanding and care.

Croix

Apart from medical and family support looking after yourself as well as yu can is important. this means as healthy a life-style as you can mange -exercise - diet - sleep. It also means being kind to yourself. Do activities you enjoy on a regular basis. This gives you things to look forward to, tells your mind you are someone worth rewarding and can take your thoughts

right away from the worries of regular life. I use books, movies and pets. Plus I go for walks when stressed.

[Croix]

P.S. Sorry about the formatting, don't know what happened
C

[Bethie]

Hi Grace27

When you can please go see your GP and tell him how your feeling. He can help.

Its great your reaching out.

I suffer anxiety and depression. My therapist calls me at least once a week atm for a phone session which helps heaps alot.

Heres a basic check list that may help you.

H.A.L.T....hungry, angry, lonely , tired

If I'm 2 of these things my depression starts acting up. If I'm 3 I know I'm in trouble and need put full breaks on.

I hope things improve. As Mums we often put ourselves last to the point of simple things not not drinking enough water or skipping meals because life and time demands can be hectic.

[geoff]

hello Grace, and can I please welcome you to this site, as said is can be quite scary to begin with, many times wondering whether you should post a comment, then perhaps start typing away then editing it and finally deleting what you have started to tell us only wishing that you had pressed post.
Well done now you are on.
Feeling empty is a sign of being depressed, so to start with click on 'Get Support' and scroll down till you find 'Publications to download or order', it would probably be best to order it from Beyond Blue, because it's a booklet on all types of depression, a worthwhile and very informative booklet, it's not too big, just the right size.
Once you start to feel inadequate in one area of your life, it's bound to follow through with everything else and when this happens you can't think that it will go away 'all by itself' because generally it won't.
It may improve for a few hours but bang, there it is again, controlling how you feel and what you want to do, we have all been through this and even some are still struggling but manage to reply to others and for this to happen is a pleasure.
Now you have to book an appointment with your doctor, the longer you leave it the worse you are most likely going to feel.
Please order this booklet and would love to hear back from you. Geoff.