Need help

[yttii]

Hi,

I am a newbie in beyondblue. Good to have an anonymous platform where I could discuss what I feel about myself without hesitation. This is the least overwhelming way to say anything and everything.

I am inherently a lazy person who doesn’t want to wake up in the morning and loves having some alone time in the night with my phone trying to search for my answers online.

Don’t know what my exact questions are or why I am so anxious all the time or why I have lost the drive to achieve anything or why I just can’t live in the present, but something is not right.

Although I have a good support system of my parents and my husband, but I feel they have given up on me. Often they ask me what is wrong or what can they do for me but I don’t know what to say to them because I don’t know why I feel the way I do.For me to be able to tell them my problem, I should know the problem myself first!

I get tired easily.I am reluctant to move myself physically.It takes a lot of effort from me even to just take a shower.Not to mention that my brain is reluctant to exercise as well.My brain and my body are just too lazy to move.It takes a lot of effort from my husband to take me out or get me involved in any activity.

I know I am the only one who can change it but somehow I have lost the will or my brain and body have become too stubborn or frankly I don’t know.

There are days when I feel guilty and push my self really hard.I become a better person then but that phase is short lived.

Is it possible to create an internal drive strong enough to help me fight the strong comfort zones of my brain and body?

I don’t know if this makes sense but honestly, this is how I feel.

Can somebody please help?

Thanks,

[Tay2405]

Hi Yttii,

Welcome to the forums, I am also pretty new here and it is such an incredible place to be able to get out your emotions and talk to people without having the intensity of doing it face to face.

I am so sorry that you feel this way. Firstly, I just wanted to say that I am so glad that you came here to reach out and that you are actively trying to find solutions or some way to make your problems a little better, it takes a long of bravery to make that first step.

I completely understand what you mean about feeling as though your loved ones have given up, but I can almost assure you that they haven't. It's pretty common, especially when you are struggling with depression (as it sounds like you may be) for your brain to make you and convince you to feel this way.

Honestly, I would definitely recommend perhaps trying to speak to a professional or your GP who may be able to not only explore and explain more to you but also to work with you to put some strategies in place to help you feel better and to deal with these issues. I know it definitely helped me.

Lastly, stay strong lovely, I know that it's hard now but I promise that as long as you push and strive to feel better, it will happen!

Hope to hear back from you!
Tay

[PamelaR]

Hello Yttii

So lovely to see Tay has welcomed you to the BB forums. I agree with everything Tay says.

The only thing I can add is my own experience and that is -

I also feel exactly the same as you - lazy, good for nothing. And while sometimes, I too, get out late in the morning, find it difficult to do things around the house. I do, do things. It's just at times, my anxiety, depression and PTSD get the better of me and I need 'Time Out'. My hubby knows this, he understands. Also, when I do stuff I'm like a whirlpool - everything's very quick. What about yourself? I'm sure there are times when you get very active. Am I right? Sometimes I think these periods of activity exhaust me and I need to rest.

I'd repeat what Tay has suggested - go to your GP, there maybe some underlying physical issue for your feeling of legarthy.

Let us know how you get on

Kind regards

PamelaR

[yttii]

Hi Pamela,

Thankyou for sharing your story with me.

Yes, when I do things I too am like a whirlpool,trying to squeeze in as much as I can.

Thankyou for your recommendation. I think I might try my luck and go visit a doc.

I am wondering it might be a physical deficiency (even though I am healthy and intake only healthy meals).

I was also wondering if you have tried any remedies.If yes, did it help and what were those remedies?

[yttii]

Hi Tay,

Thankyou for your post.

Yeah you are right.My family members are trying their best to fight against my brain.So am I.

Posting on an online forum anonymously is easier than actually going up to the GP and discussing the problem.But I guess, I got to try it one time.

I hope to find some way forward.

Thanks,

[PamelaR]

Hi Yttii

Yeah, that whirlwind behaviour is something. What remedies do I use for my downtime due to anxiety?

I usually:

• slow my breathing - do a yoga style breath, slowly in and out, counting all the while in my head. It helps to settle me down and/or reduce the severity of my pounding heart. Sometimes though, the pounding is relentless. During these times I try diversionary tactics - watching a comedy. Laughter is really good.
• do some grounding and meditation. The BB forums contain a number of threads about these things under 'Staying Well'. I find these help to reduce the panicky feeling, though doesn't 'stop me being anxious'.
• do gentle stretching. This helps my muscles to relax that tend to get tight when I'm anxious.
• go for a walk to get some exercise. I find this a good distraction though often it is the last thing i want to do. But when I do, i get distracted by nature - trees, birds, insects. Everything that makes my heart sing. Generally come back feeling great. I've been told 'walking' helps 'reset' the mind.
• rarely ever take medication. I did initially when I first went back to work after my breakdown. But very infrequently - just to help me sleep so I could get up to go to work the next day. Long term and ongoing use of the medication wasn't recommended so I never went back for a repeat script. Now I've retired, I can sleep when I want. Not recommended.
• going to a psychologist on a regular basis. I have seen a therapist of some sort ON & OFF over 20 years. To be honest, this helps the most. I need someone to give me ideas to recalibrate my thinking. I find a good therapist does this! What hasn't happened until my most recent psych was - changing my internal (brain) schema. I.e. my building blocks of values and my beliefs. All my previous psych's focussed on changing how I thought about things, but not the underlying values and beliefs that had gone with my thinking. Now that I'm on this path, I think I'll make headway. Looking good!

Some other alternative remedies I've used in the past include:

• acupuncture. Very good for realigning the body.
• Chinese herbal medication. Not convinced this helped at all.
• massage. Great for relaxing my body and helping to move my emotions caught up in various organs, e.g. heart, stomach, chest, back etc.

I've limited these because they are expensive and also I haven't found a new naturopath in the city that I moved to.

Hope some of these help Yttii.

Kind regards

PamelaR