miserble

[jojo01]

I feel so miserable today. just seems like my life has been one bad road after another. I'm sick of struggling financially. My car isn't working... waiting 3 weeks for a part. I have no true friends. people are so selfish, greedy, running their own agenda constantly. My daughters home tomorrow, but with that is extra work, extra food. I'm so sick of being a mother, doing housework, solving issues, thinking for other people. I just want to sit and do nothing all the time. yet I have been cleaning, and washing. I'm not suicidal, but I'm just over it. I'm sick of being strong.

[pipsy]

Hi jojo. I gather you are a solo mother. It makes it hard sometimes being 'mum and dad' to our kids. Knowing they expect us to 'wave a magic wand and make everything alright'. How old is your daughter? Try suggesting to her, tomorrow, that if she is prepared to work with you, you will work with her. By that I mean, ask her to help you with housework, make a game of it. I had this with my daughter, she went through the 'Why should I do something, it's your job?'. I said to her, if you want to live in a mess (her room, please close the door. I decided her room was her room. I stopped taking responsibility for how she chose to live. My daughter put up with her mess about 2 or 3 days. She started cleaning her room without me saying anything. Then she came to ask me what else could she do? I am not a strong person, I suffered major depression. I would sit and cry for hours. My daughter would get really ***** with me. One day, I was sitting, crying, she bought me a cup of tea and a stale biscuit. Then she sat down with me and cried with me. She would've been 10. I stopped being the 'strong one' and admitted I couldn't do it. Being strong means admitting you can't 'do it anymore'. You are not weak, you are tired and need help. Ask for help from daughter and possibly invite her friends for company. Even young girls love to know they're needed.

Lynda

[Doolhof]

Hi Jojo,

I like Pipsy's reply to you.

For me, I try to make a bit of time every day to do something that I enjoy, even if it is reading for half an hour. It makes me feel better about myself, that I have made that time for me.

Make a list of things you would like to do and try to fit them into your schedule.

Spreading out the housework over the week also helps me. I try to have everything done by the weekend so I have that free.

Having a grumble and a vent here helps also! We all need someone to listen to us don't we!

Try and find different and interesting things to do with your daughter. Paint each other's toenails maybe.

Hope it goes well for you. When I am feeling down, life is such a struggle! Hope you have a few brighter moments in the coming week.

Cheers for now from Mrs. D

[5022]

Hi Jojo. I have my children every second weekend, maybe you share custody too. I too run around exhausting myself so the house is clean for them. I dont have a car so shop for little bits each day prior too them coming so they have some favourite treats, very tiring as I work nights and days and public transport is my transport. What i have learnt to help me get through it is that the kids know mums house is tidy our pets are cared for and have learnt too use that as my motivation and it helps. Some days we play board games all day ( i can't be bothered having a shower) on other days we may go too the city all day. Does my depression affect this, the answer is yes. Its ok too have pj days. My son built the biggest cubby in the middle of the lounge this weekend. It stayed there because he wanted too sleep in it and the home time helped my recovery. Your never alone in this. Hugs

[5022]

Hi JoJo, i didn't feel like this Monday night. Couldn't get off the couch until Thursday to see my doctor. For me its seeing my kids that makes me better as its not my choice too have such limited time and I plunge into the darkest place. I dont want too die, i just want the pain and anxiety too stop. Its hard too get help when you cant leave the house and BB is awsome through these times until your well enough to see your gp or other professional. Its really important too see them even when you feel well again and tell them the darkness you were in. Hugs