Mental health carer of a family member inpatient in a mental health facility

[Charlotte3841]

Hi everyone,

I have been in a caring role for the last two months for a younger family member. I'm glad I found this space after lots of searching. I'm in Queensland. I have lived experience of poor mental health myself - mostly demonstrating as anxiety. In my experience, caring for a family member in a mental health facility, I have found it hard to get relevant and timely information in regard to the carer/support person role, in regard to the person I am caring for's treatment progress (I have the person's consent). I have also found it challenging when trying to engage with the mental health staff at the hospital. Often they are busy and when I ask to speak to someone I feel like I am often brushed aside. So feeling unseen and unheard. I also have not been asked in the 8-9 weeks that I have been visiting my family member if I myself am doing ok. So that has been tough. I'm so happy I found this space to connect with others. Sending kindness to you all; you matter 

[Croix]

Dear Charlotte3841~

Welcome to the forum, I think if you look around you may find others with similar problems.

As for being asked if you are ok, it is a rare institution that will do that, though sometimes it is a professional a professional or empathetic staff member who asks.

Some hospitals have welfare officer, who might be helpful

You do need support, seeing someone close to you in that environment is very hard, stressful, frustrating and upsetting. May I suggest you seek professional help, a GP or a councilor so you are not facing this without some sort of backing.

May I ask if you have support on a personal level, a family member or friend perhaps? Mainly all they have to do is listen and care -not 'fix' anything.

Most mental health institutions are chronically understaffed and being brushed off not a rare expereince. Provided you are next of kin, enduring guardian or hold some other position with a right to confidential information (I should imagine an official carer does) then stick to you guns and insist.

It may be a question of finding out who can best answer your questions, Director of nurses, Psychiatrist or other  staff member. If they were placed there by an outside professional that might be the best. With any if you can make a formal appointment so much the better.

I hope your family member gets real benefit from being in the facility, I know I did in similar circumstances.

You know you are welcome here anytime

Croix

[Charlotte3841]

Lovely to hear from you Croix. I hear you on understaffed; that does seem to be the case. It would be good if the government prioritised mental health initiatives by funding to employ more mental health staff. I mean really. 

Thanks for the suggestion. I do have access to some bulk-billed psychology sessions so I may book one of those. I just had forgotten about myself which I believe is rather common when caring for another person. I have five family members I can speak to but four of those are helping to care so they are also spent. Otherwise I don't discuss it with anyone else in order to safeguard the dignity of my family member because of the stigma associated with mental ill-health. I find engagement with the mental health staff at the hospital to be very inconsistent. At times it is good; I get to speak to someone who knows my family member and is willing to give me a few minutes of their time, but most often it is a struggle to find anyone to listen. Staff are busy; if you call they often say they'll call back and don't; I wait and wait to talk to someone to hear how my family member is progressing (with my family member's consent) and there is often no one available so yeah, I feel unseen and unheard often. The system seems broken to me. It's definitely been a challenging time. I do wish the experience was warmer with more engagement so that as carers we felt that we mattered and so that we could feel that our experience and ideas were of value. My family member has stabilised which is good, it just has been an exhausting experience and I wish the mental health leaders would be open to hearing from carers regarding how the mental health hospital system experience could be improved. 

Thank you for sharing; sending strength and kindness 

[Croix]

Dear Charlotte3841

I'm afraid the mental health area is sadly underfunded and the States and Federal governments have been made aware of this many times, I guess it is partly budget priorities and partly that until recently patients were not seen as people but 'labels' and treatment was more impersonal than it is today -there is improvement. 

Families and close persons are lower on the list, and keeping them properly informed, taking thier views and suggestions into account, and caring for their welfare are weak points. This is a gap, and one area is that the patients may have to depend on them on discharge so thier circumstances need to be known - some have no one of course.

If you have bulk billed psychology sessions (as opposed to those with a GAP fee) I think you would be wise to use them . I'm glad there are other members of the family caring too, in order to not place too much strain on only some is there a way it can be worked out so all bear roughly an equal load?

I'm heartened to hear your family member has stabilized.

Croix

[Charlotte3841]

Thanks for your thoughts and your kindness. I haven't booked another psychology session for myself yet, but I will soon.

I hear that; I guess I feel frustration. Like in words on brochures (if one finds any) carers are said to be important and their thoughts are welcomed but in reality in the day to day visits to the hospital, that doesn't seem to be the case. It's the ongoing reminder that in the health professionals eyes I and other carers don't matter much which impacts me significantly.

That's true. It's the carers and supportive family members who help keep their loved ones as mentally strong as possible so as to stay out of inpatient mental health facilities once they are discharged so I would love to have more recognition of our value and more opportunities to contribute our ideas regarding how to improve the system. I  would love mental health (support) systems to be less compartmentalised - less 'us' and 'them,' less 'the empowered' and 'the disempowered.' I would love it if we could all work together as equals for the mental health benefit of all.