Lost

[Bella30nsw]

Well I think I have depression I've never really spoken to anyone about it. I think it started when I was in labour with my 5 year old which then turned into untreated ptsd.

Today's a bad day.

I don't really know why.

My hubby is so busy at work and lately it just feels like no matter what I do it's just not right. He is stressed and busy and worried he isn't going to have everything done for all of the customers by Christmas.

I took our little ones to see him this afternoon after our 5 year old finished school and he hardly even spoke to us. He owns his own business so it's not like he has a boss to answer to.

Our 1 year old isn't sleeping. I get up to her whenever she cries I think everything is just taking its toll

I get so short and cranky with my 2 beautiful kids and I hate it. They deserve a happy and fun Mum and I'm not any of that.

I don't know what to do.

[Just Sara]

Hi Bella and welcome to our caring community;

You've shown great courage and self support by sharing your story here on BB forum, so well done!

I'm not a medical professional, but Post Natal Depression is a common reaction to child birth; I for one know of its debilitating symptoms. If untreated, it can go on for a long time or turn into a complex condition.

My advice is to see your GP asap to identify if this is the case and get a referral for therapy. Medication is also a good way to find relief from symptoms whether it's PND or something else.

I'm sorry your hubby's feeling the pinch of the season's challenges. It's not an ideal situation for either of you, or your little ones. Maybe things will change when Xmas arrives and things ease up. With your GP's support, you may find coping with things is easier too.

I truly empathise with what you're going thru Bella. The silly season's over in a few weeks, and hopefully this'll bring relief to you and your family. Try to take time out for yourself ok. If you have your mum around or a sister for example, maybe they can take your kids for a while to let you have some respite. We all need a break now and then.

I wish you well and hope things turn out for the better. Please feel free to look around the sections/threads, and read some info sheets in the blue section below on women; hopefully there's something there that can help.

I'm here on and off over the Xmas period and will look you up when I can. Keep us in mind when times are tough as it's a great place to vent, or find like-minded souls to talk to. Even if it's for some light hearted banter. 🙂

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[geoff]

hi Bella, I too would like to welcome you to the forums and thank Sez for replying with great and very warm comments.
From what you have told us it seems as though you might be suffering from PND, but not being qualified I can't really say, although suffering from PND myself as result of my wife who was also suffering from it, then I am able to see that the symptoms you are currently having seems as though it could be.
I am also worried about your husband being under a great deal of stress leading up to Xmas, and I'm sorry, but I was also in the same situation as he is myself, but I never did see my doctor, nor did my wife, but that was something that we should have done, especially as my Dad was a GP.
Please can I along with Sez, ask you to see your doctor, your husband has to do the same, but I realise that he won't be able to after Xmas, but try and get him to squeeze it in.
There is a test you can take so if you can google 'postnatal depression test online', plus if you can do, along with your husband do the K-10 test by also googling it.
I know what it feels like to have PND as well as depression later on, so we only want to help you. Geoff. x

[Doolhof]

Hi Bella,

I too welcome you to the community here. Sounds like there are a few issues for you, seeing a Dr will certainly help answer the questions you may have about your own mental health. He/she may also be able to offer advice on your daughter not sleeping well.

My father was self employed, we hardly ever saw him as children, he worked so hard at three jobs just to keep a roof over our heads. It may help if you have a chat with your husband and ask if he can make some quality time for you all on a weekly basis.

Even if you have to schedule in a "DATE" with him. As already mentioned, this can be a very stressful period of the year, at the same time connecting with family is still very important.

Did you surprise your husband when you visited him or was he expecting you? Could you set a time to see him at work? Ask if he can please stop what he is doing for even a few minutes. The guy has to eat doesn't he? Is it possible to take in some food for you and the children to share with him and then leave him to his work again.

Are there things that you enjoy doing? Hobbies? Interests? It is important to try to keep up with doing things we enjoy ourselves.

Do you have girlfriends with children, could you organise a play date in a park? The kids may become tired out and sleep well, u will have been out of the house and doing something different.

Sharing how you are feeling here is a safe thing to do. Hopefully just writing the first post has helped you a little.

Cheers for now from Dools