A warm welcome to you, Jane.
Reading your post triggered a sense of deep compassion. My heart goes out to you at this distressful time. I am glad you decided to join the BB community and hope you will find some solace around these forums.
Falling in love is different from loving someone long term. Long term love evolves over time to take on different aspects. People fall in and out of love all the time. Sometimes long term love results, sometimes not.
Sometimes, finding positive aspects of a negative situation is a struggle. One redeeming feature is your husband's reassurance that you are loved for the long haul. That he will stand by you regardless of other fluctuating emotions. Another "good" point is his honesty. He is not lying to you, while many others would. This must be a very difficult time for him too...serious illness affects the whole family. Perhaps he doesn't feel all that strong and the only way he can cope is by having this emotional relationship. It seems his timing for an emotional affair is out of whack but I am not here to judge, just to offer an outsider's objective thoughts.
I understand how painful to you his emotional involvement with another woman would be. Particularly when you are at your most vulnerable. Whether it takes away any TLC from you is for you only to figure out and discuss with him. Has he been neglectful, distracted ? Has he stopped showing how much he cares, has his support been wavering ? Is feeling a different type of love for someone else affecting the deep attachment and commitment he has towards you ? Actions speak louder than words. I hope with all my heart that the answer is "no" and that he will remain loyal to you throughout this difficult journey.
It is at times like this that families should remain united in support. I hope your husband can get his priorities right and rise above the emotional chaos he's in at the moment.
You deserve peace and stability. Concern for your family's future shows your big heart. You are one brave woman.
My thoughts are with you.
