Looking for advice about bullying in the workplace.

[Charlotte_w]

Hello,

This is my 1st ever post. I am in my mid 30's and a long time sufferer of anxiety. Sometimes severe, but sometimes manageable.

Anyway, I work for a organisation that consists of a lot of belittling, bullying, and inconsistencies from the management down. We also have relentlessly high workloads,etc as well.I have found this has severely affected my anxiety, and I ended up very sick due to internalising stress.

I know the simple answer is just to leave, and it isn't worth my mental health, however, due to life and family circumstances, I am unable to do this yet.

I am wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, and has some advice on what I can do for myself to get through it, as I know I can't change the workplace.

thanks in advance.

[Guest_342]

Hello Charlotte,

Does your workplace have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)? You might be able to get some helpful advice if you speak with one of their counsellors.

Do you have time at lunchtime to put your walking shows on and do a brisk walk around a few blocks and get some sunshine and fresh air?

Also, have you seen your GP to fiscuss how best to manage your anxiety?

I’m sorry I don’t have very helpful tips for you.

Wishing you a happy weekend.

[Charlotte_w]

Hi Gelati,

Thank you for your response. It was helpful. Sometimes I get caught up in my head and forget about the simple things like getting fresh air and sun and going for a walk.

I think I will try and reconnect with a psychologist that specialises in workplace stress and anxiety.

My GP has been helpful, however, I sometimes feel they don't have time to throughly address mental health, aside from providing a script.

I am going to put my joggers in my car tonight.

Thanks again.

[Red_Robin]

Hello Gelati,

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I hope the suggestions work for you. I am finding my workplace is affecting anxiety as well. I am looking for other work but have found my self confidence lacking which is making this even harder.

I am trying to say Affirmations each morning and night, and while at work just taking deep breaths and trying to be mindful. Trying to reject the negative, toxicity from my life and focus on the task I am to do in the moment. It is helping a little.

I hope you find some peace and the suggestions made in this thread from others help to improve your work life.

Kindly,and wishing you well,

Robin

[Guest_342]

Yes, I do the same and need to follow my own advice 🙂

I’m so glad you’re feeling motivated to take some positive steps.

All the very best to you!

[greatoutdoors123]

Hi Charlotte,

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I had a similar situation and I understand how stressful it is when your work is toxic but you cannot just quit due to financial/other considerations.

I can see others have helpfully suggested using an EAP or therapy. In terms of other advice, I joined a gym which did classes I really enjoyed, and I would look forward to this every day. I did not like to run as exercise at this time as my thoughts were to anxious to be alone with for that period, but I found the classes helped as it was loud music and a group environment. It's just a little thing but maybe it would help you too.

During this time my sister said to me "some days it might just be that one little thing is the 'good thing' for that day, so just try and find the 'good'". This helped me, I would then notice things like: the sunset, a flower on the walk to work, the kindness of a barista. Again, these are small things, but they helped me and maybe it will help you too!

[Charlotte_w]

Hi Greatoutdoors,

Sorry you have experience this too, and I appreciate your advice. Honestly taking a step back and noticing the little positive things sounds like a great start.

I am glad to hear about the things that have helped others and am keen to try these out.

Thankyou.

[Guest_365]

Hi there

Sorry your in that environment and feeling that way. I would suggest the following:

1. Access EAP service

2. Take your assigned breaks and get outside for fresh air.

3. Take regular toilet breaks to bring up your day and exit a situation if you need to.

4. Exercise after work if possible to clear your mind for a relaxing evening.

5. Seek support from a trusted co worker if possible.

6. Take some leave if you can.

Hope this can help you manage it until things change or you find a suitable job.

[FireSale]

Hi Charlotte;

Can I make one suggestion? Record everything. Times, dates, who, what.... I found that helped me cope, especially when the bullying was covert; putting it down on paper made it 'look real' and allowed me to look at patterns emerging. It didn't stop the bullying, but it helped me side step some of the more toxic and dangerous people at my work... And in a few cases where gaslighting was an issue, was like a visual reminder that i wasn't imagining things. It gave me the sense that if I wanted to, I could have probably taken legal action against the places of employment involved.

And a second suggestion: build up your life outside work. Remind yourself that you aren't stuck only categorised by your career... It doesn't have to be anything huge, just do or learn stuff that makes you happy and reminds you that you can still find joy in the world. Could be art/sport/religious or community stuff, could be as simple as googling things you have been curious about and going from there, could be playing an online game... Just anything that isn't an obligation and you enjoy and is in some way stimulating in a good way.

Also... Toxic workplace cultures are THE WORST, and seldom do they change, especially if the bullies are in managerial roles: they have a vested interest in staying there. Trying to change it probably won't work, but changing the effect it has, by making things better outside work, can make it more bearable and help give you the confidence to get an exit plan happening.

Good luck; I hate the idea of people going through this sort of hell.

[Charlotte_w]

Hi FireSale,

Thank you so much. You are very much spot on!! I am managing it a better and definitely keep a record of everything. You seem to understand the circumstances around this experience.

I have begun to see a psychologist who specialises in workplace culture, and is very familiar with my organisations history of this behaviour. It really helps being able to discuss it and know you "aren't making it up, or blowing things out of proportion."

Gaslighting and attempting to isolate/ quieten people into not expressing how they are feeling or thinking are the 2 biggest strategies used.

Thanks heaps for taking the time out to reply.