Lonely newbie

[Stitch]

Hello.  This is the first time I've posted in an online forum. 

I'm 44 years old & embarassed to find myself with no friends.  I've also been estranged from my family since the age of 15.  I work full-time, have a lot of hobbies and volunteer with 2 different organisations.  My life is busy and productive but the lonliness is getting hard to deal with and I'm worried I'm turning into a person that I don't want to be.  I'm also worried that people are able to up on my sense of sadness and this is making it hard for me to make friends. 

 Is there anyone experiencing a similar situation?

[Bec_Luke]

Hey Stitch,

I totally agree with you on all aspects.

I'm really keen and interested in this meet up group D&A in Melbourne.  umm how does it work do i go on the website and sign up??? 

as like you, i am keen to find out more

cheers

Bec

[Stitch]

Hi Bec,

Just google "meet up" and you'll be able to see all the different groups.  I think you can narrow down the choices by typing "depression" into their search bar.  This is the first time I've joined a group on this site and I think it will take a while for the person who runs it to get back to me.

There are a couple of other similar groups on this site but most of them seem to be "inactive" in that their history shows only 1 or 2 previous real life meetings..

When I found the site I just clicked on the "join" option and it asked me to submit my details including my email address.  It also asked me to answer 3 qustions regarding my experience with D&A.  I'm guessing  I'll receive an email from them which will hopefully confirm my membership.

All the groups on this site are run by ordinary people who want to meet other people who share similar interests or life experiences.

I think the good thing about this site is that there is an opportunity to communicate with the person who organises the meetings.  It wouldn't be so scary to go to a meeting for the first time if you've gotten to know at least one person first.

Let me know how you get on.

Regards

[Bec_Luke]

Hi Stitch,

Thanks i shall look into it and see how I go. I shall let you know how things go and if I have any Trouble.

[Bec_Luke]

Im guessing it shall be under the heading Depression and Anxiety meetup groups???

[Stitch]

Hi Bec,

Look for Meet Ups in Melbourne & type depression into the search bar, the results should show "Melbourne depression & anxiety group".  It will have a red flag that says "new".

But it's entirely up to you which, if any groups you might like to join.  I chose that one because the others seem inactive and this one is a new group, which probably has a good chance of getting off the ground.

Their second meet is next Saturday with another soon after that and so far they have 30 members.  Sounds like a great way to meet like minded people.

[Bec_Luke]

Hey Stitch,

Thanks again, I have worked it out and have found the group, and have joined. 🙂

thanks heaps for letting me know about this site as i had never heard of this one before.

thanx

Bec.x

[Stitch]

That's great Bec.  Well done

I'm not very tech savvy & have accidentally deleted myself from the group.

Will try to rejoin today.

Cheers

[Gazza74]

Hi Stitch,

Thanks for posting, I can relate to your situation which is why i'm here.

 I'm just about to hit 40 and have been very lonely for many years, i've always felt like an outsider. I have trouble making new friends and suffer from low self esteem which makes me feel unworthy of friendships and relationships. I often find it hard to relate to people and have acquaintances rather than friends these days.

I don't want to talk about my problems with people I know because they just avoid me if I do. My brother and father don't really want to know me and if I confide in my mother she uses that info to hurt me so I can't trust her. I've been single most of my life and my short lived relationships are few and far between.

I work full time and i'm good at my job but totally hopeless in social situations.

Anyway before this post turns into a wall of text I wanted to thank you and others who posted here for sharing. I have looked up Meetup and joined a local group so hopefully that will help turn the tide. I hope you are finding people you can relate to in your search, you are not alone.

Cheers

Gazza

[fruitloop]

Hi to everyone talking about loneliness. I have been feeling lonely for several years now and it has gotten worse these last few months. I have rang my local council for groups and courses, contacted my local neighborhood houses and I look on line allot in hope something is out there I'm interested in, not too far away. I don't drive and I am 62 yrs old. I am married, but my husband works long hours. It has gotten I stay home unless my husband is home and I don't have a friend who lives near me at all, so no one usually rings my door bell anymore. All I can say is I have tried to get more and push myself lots of times, with no success to meet any new women in my area. Sometimes I feel so depressed and the thought of this continuing like it is really upsets me. I am reacting to what is going on, so I really don't want to take medication for how I feel. My family is in England and my daughter is in America due to marrying an American, so life has gotten very quiet. 

[Simona]

Awwww.  I know what that is like.  my partner is busy away AND when he comes home because he's doing stuff in the office which is like a small closet really.   Sometimes I get lonely for a friend through the day but I only have the Jehovas coming around and I only like them because I enjoy making them laugh ha

Yep otherwise it CAN be sad.  I can't make friends either.  I have tried but I lack certain social skills I think or I can't read people well.  I get jealous of my partner because he has so many 'mates' and can talk to anyone.  He's a really good talker but he can be too loud.

I understand you. I don't take pills either only vitamins