Just Wanting to say hi

[RuSethi]

Hi. I'd like to leave my name anonymous. I suffer from social anxiety and mild depression. I have recently had a acquaintance who is suicidal and diagnosed with Severe Depression. While taking care of of this individual, my depression has been triggered. I don't feel like studying and working. I used to work out and exercise a lot, but all I do now is stay in bed and stay home for most days. I don't have motivation to do much. I find that I am eating more junk food as well. I study and work part time, but I am really overwhelmed with everything. There is a lot I wish to do in a short amount of time, but at the moment, it is really overwhelming.

[Ggrand]

Hello RuSethi,

Welcome to the forum, it's a safe place that's is paramount to protecting your identity as well has no judgemental, understanding kind people,

It sounds like you are struggling really hard to care for your acquaintance, and yourself. Please it very important to look after your health imo first otherwise you will keep spiralling Down, and it will be harder to care for you acquaintant..

Can I ask you if you are having professional help, if not I would recommend if you can to make a long appointment with your GP and let him/her know how your feeling and that you are caring for a very depressed person. Your GP, can then organise for you to professional Counciling and talk about possible medication to help you..Does your acquaintance have professional help, if not maybe you both can see GP together...

Depression does that to us, brings us down, keeping us in bed, not letting us enjoy the things we used to enjoy.

Looking after someone with depression when your not struggling with MH issues is hard enough, but doing this while drepessed is extremely hard and detrimental to your health. Please try to get yourself help it's most important that you do so..

Kindness only,

Grandy.

[Croix]

Dear RuSethi~

The first thing, as Grandy says, is that this place is totally anonymous and a great deal of trouble is taken to keep it that way, so you do not have to worry on that score.

Now it sounds from what you are saying your own depression and anxiety has taken a turn for the worse. Wanting to stay in bed, no motivation, stopping your normal lifestyle and feeling overwhelmed are signs similar to what I have had when my depression has been getting on top of me.

The obvious thing to point out is that if things go on this way you are not going to be any help either to yourself or your friend. So like Grandy I'd like to ask if you have medical support and treatment the moment? I reached a stage where it was the only thing that did any good.

If you are having treatment please see your doctor and explain what is happening, your regime does not seem to be working properly and may well need altering. Of course if you are not seeing a doctor now is very much the right time to start.

It is important for you to understand that no matter how you might feel about it nobody can be entirely responsible to keep someone else alive, or even well. It realy is a group effort. The person them self, their medical team, and their family and friends all have their part to play.

One of the very best things you can do is try to ensure your friend gets the best possible medical care, and that it is ongoing and frequent. If there is anyone else in your friend's life they should be encouraged to do so too.

In passing I'll mention the free smartphone app called BeyondNow, which is filled in advance with all sorts of things by your friend - and a trusted other - and is something your friend can reach for when frightened or overwhelmed.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning

I'd suggest you include crisis lines like the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) - I hold them in high regard. There are lots of other things to put in, not only what you might expect.

For your own well being do you have anyone to support you, a family member or friend who you can talk with and share the burden? It does make a big difference not to be alone.

We would really like it if you returned and talked more

Croix

[geoff]

Hi RuSethi, can I welcome you to the site and names are not important, it's the response you get from people replying back to you which hopefully will help you know that we are looking out for you.

While taking care of someone who is suffering from social anxiety as well as depression means our intentions are good, but situations may suddenly appear which you weren't capable of dealing with.

This maybe the trigger you didn't expect and certainly didn't want.

It may bring back memories of your past which you have been able to push away and once this happens then it opens the door to where you were once before.

What you need to do is make an exit because now you are the person that needs the help to get yourself back on track.

If you feel strong enough then you can occasionally contact your acquaintance, but you have to once again start contacting your support group, whether it's a friend, family member or your doctor for help.

You have to look after yourself first of all. Geoff.

[Danielle324]

Hi rusethi,

firstly I want to say what an achievement in posting, I posted for the first time just the other day and it takes courage so well done. In regards to motivation I find that it helps to set small goals and depending on how you feel these can be really small I.e had a shower, ate a healthy breakfast etc. I also can relate to the unhealthy eating and that is a hard cycle to break it tastes good in the interim and then you feel that you should have made a healthier option but to this I really think one step at a time. Provided you’re not eating junk food for every meal maybe start with a few food swaps like I try and think if I eat a healthy lunch then I can be more lenient with dinner. But then again if you’re struggling at the moment there’s nothing wrong with a bit of chocolate! And another thing I’ve been saying to myself lately is ‘this too shall pass’ so keep looking up and keep trying, mental illness isn’t easy but we have to keep fighting! You’ve got this!!