Just saying hi

[Skary Bill]

Hi all, Hope people's year is off to a good start.

I'm sitting here having a bit of a meltdown. Just your garden variety feels like a heart attack while wanting to throw up and intermittently yawning uncontrollably sorta deal.. Normally my go to move would be avoidance. Remove myself from whatever stressful trigger is in play, or at the very least ignore my troubles. But I just don't feel like that option is available at the moment. I'm faced with needing to move and having to find somewhere to live, I'm on a super tight budget, my health and fitness is not ideal and just for good measure, there's a time crunch which may or may not have something to do with my go to move 😉 lol.

Anyway, the people around me.. Whilst not uncaring, don't really get it. And if I hear someone say don't worry today I might lose my bundle and say something impolite. Not that it would be terrible advice.. Just mainly that it doesn't help. So I've come looking for people who might have an idea of what it's like, and found this place. I guess I'm hoping that just talking about it will at least let me get it out of my head.

Where I'm at is a really long story which I won't try to cover in this intro, but the key notes are agoraphobia and anxiety of some form. And the diagnosis is PTSD..etc.. I feel it's important to note that I'm not depressed or even unhappy. The things I am worried about are legitimate concerns and challenges. And my fears, while probably amplified are not unfounded. Mostly, I'm just really frustrated because I have things to do and generally, I'm sick of feeling awful.

I've had a bit of a read on site before signing up, so I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I hope I can lend an ear to someone else, and find some people to relate to.

Cheers,

Bill.

[Doolhof]

Hi Bill,

Welcome to the forum and the community here. Have your symptoms reduced at all or do you still feel really yuck? Have you fond things in the past that have helped you get through your reactions and episodes?

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Would it help if you wrote down all your issues and then decided which one you will tackle first and how you will go about that.

Issues do get tangles together, so if you are able to unravel them just a little, it might make one task at least a bit easier to deal with.

It can be overwhelming when we are bombarded will ill health and other issues on top of that. Needing to move can be a huge issue by itself. Hope you manage to find somewhere you can go to.

I don't have the answers for you Bill. I just want to let you know your issues have been acknowledged and are certainly understood. Life can be tough at times.

Hopefully others will join in and be able to offer you some support and dideas on what will help.

From Dools

[Skary Bill]

Hi Dools, Thanks for the reply. It's much appreciated.

The list is a great idea. Since my troubles started I've had a terrible time with making decisions.. I seem to get stuck on the tiniest thing. So I'll write down the to do list and get it all out of my head. And if I get stuck on the order of things, I might come back to ask if someone in the community can see the path forward for me.

I expect I will feel pretty ordinary for a little while to come. Other than avoiding things, I've not found many ways to manage the symptoms very well. But it's all much less acute since I shared it, and just as I type this, I've decided to make sure I find a pile of boxes this afternoon so I can just pack my troubles up. At least they will be easier to move when I find somewhere to take them.

Bill.

[blondguy]

Hi Bill

Thank you for being a part of the forums! It takes strength which you have

I understand you with the agoraphobia and anxiety. I probably have PTSD too yet I am tired of labels (for me)

Agoraphobia which is an extension of anxiety....can be an awful place to be in Bill. I couldnt leave my front door back in the 1980's...it was a bad time. It took a community health worker to help me out and insist that I attend counseling every week at the same time. I was a mess....and trying work at the same time...ugh! It took seven months of weekly counseling to find my way

Can I ask if you have a good GP or counselor that you can lean on?

There is no such thing as a dumb question on the forums Bill. If you have any we are more than happy to help

by the way....happy new year and all the best for 2019 🙂

Paul

[Skary Bill]

Hey Paul, thanks for your thoughts.

I totally on the same page with the labels. I suppose I can see some value in them, but they're of little use to me. As it is, most people I've mentioned Agoraphobia to, don't really know what it means anyway.

I can make myself go out, but it takes a great deal of what I call emotional energy. Like someone who is scared of heights, psyching themselves up to go abseiling. Every time I do it I have to conquer that fear of leaning over the edge. But there is no rewarding rush of adrenaline. I just feel terrible the whole time I'm out, then it takes days or more to feel fine again. I think the bit I've struggled to communicate to health professionals is that when I don't challenge myself to do things like that, I feel fine. Good even.

I don't know if you found this. But I think possibly the worst bit about agoraphobia is that for the most part, if you want to get treatment for it, you need to conquer it first. I honestly feel like the psychologists/iatrists I've been to see don't quite understand what it takes for me to go see them lol. You make an appointment and they say ok see you on tuesday, and I'm thinking yeah sure.. Easy for you to say.. I shall begin my mental preparations immediately.

I had a brilliant GP here in town. But ever so sadly he moved away. And I've struggled to find one nearly as good since. Add my avoidance of going out, and at this point I haven't been to see anyone for a long time. I guess I'll see where I end up living in the next few weeks and look to find some local health professionals where I land.

I should just say, that I have a plan. It's a plan that excites me and has growth potential. I like making things, working with timber/metal/just about anything. And I believe I can make a living, from home, with a minimum of needing to feel awful. So I just need to find a space. And get to it.. With all my stuff.. lol. It's an exciting start to the new year that's for sure.

Anyway, I'm fully rambling. I appreciate your reply and hope you have a great year too. I'd better go pack more boxes.

Bill.

[blondguy]

Hi Bill

Thanks heaps for taking the time to post back! I understand you when you mentioned " I just feel terrible the whole time I'm out, then it takes days or more to feel fine again"........exactly the same with me too! Its like a draining feeling especially when I get home...I find myself exhausted and there is little desire to go through it all over again....I get it Bill...no worries at all

Agoraphobia is a part of anxiety 'family'....so when we have our anxiety treated the agoraphobia usually decreases in severity. At the end of the day its a part of the same awful problem..........anxiety

Im sorry about your GP moving away from where you are Bill....That would be a pain as you have developed a rapport with him and established trust

Can I ask if your GP helped you with your anxiety at all?.....Just so we can help provide more effective support.

As for avoiding going out it can be 'labelled' as social anxiety or agoraphobia....so the label isnt really that important....The word anxiety seems to be a common denominator here though (just keeping it simple)

Making a living from home is a great idea Bill. I dont have the talents you do yet its well worth a shot 🙂

Any questions are more than welcome Bill 🙂

my best always

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Bill

Sorry to double post you...After you mentioned that you can make things out of wood....timber...metal and just about anything it got me thinking about this thread that was posted by Geoff who has been on the forums since the late 14th century 🙂 The Beyond Blue Home Improvement thread always needs someone like yourself (only if you want to that is..) The copy and paste link is just below

www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/beyond-blue-home-improvement-thread

Geoff wrote this thread a while ago as he like yourself....talented! As for me...I am as handy as a rubber shovel

My Best and thank-you again for being a part of the Forum Family too 🙂

Paul