Is there anyone out there who has similar challenges as I have

[Supergirl]

Hi,

I'm new to the group and am looking for somewhere to chat with other people who like me struggle to live in the world that we live in today. I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was 19 years old, and experienced problems before this but then it wasn't talked about and I wasn't aware of it myself. I felt all alone at school and was bullied on a daily basis, initially for being intelligent and then afterwards for being grossly overweight. I left school thinking that there were great opportunities out there and that all my problems would disappear once I left school. I was wrong. I had a number of dead end jobs mainly in male dominated workplaces, and there I was harassed. I attracted men that treated me badly and I wanted to change them, or help them. I shudder when I look back on some of those experiences. I have experienced, social phobia, agoraphobia, chronic depression, an eating disorder, OCD, and panic attacks. So let's just say I'm an all rounder!!!LOL I haven't worked for a long time because of my mental health and also find I've had a problem with insomnia on and off for 25 years. It's amazing the things you can get done in the wee hours of the morning,, I actually like that quiet time, I'd rather be asleep but it's when my mind is at it's best, and I am able to journal and get my thoughts and feelings down on paper. If someone had of told me my life would end up like this I never would have believed them. I used to be ambitious, hardworking, determined and heading for success. I guess listening to people put me down constantly, I started to believe in their chatter, and that chatter became my inner chatter.

This year I've gone from being agoraphobic to gradually increasing my exposure to the point where I try to do something each day, even if I'm not going out, I'll go for a walk. I believe exercise really helps with anxiety and depression and without it I wouldn't have progressed to the point I have so far this year. I am getting really anxious as Christmas approaches and experiencing a few problems out and about, the world seems to have gone crazy!! I have to go grocery shopping on Thursday and then to a shopping centre on Friday to get some Christmas presents, I am dreading it, worrying about it, and it is making me physically ill. I'll be glad when this week is over.

I look forward to chatting with others and offering advice in return for advice on how we can help one another overcome these daily struggles.

Supergirl

[kanga_brumby]

Supergirl. Similar to you I was bullied all through school for one reason or another. It followed me every where I went. Scouts voluntary work even to some degree at home as well. Even when I got a partner and had 2 great children, (who drive me mad but I still love them.) It still followed me the put downs. Depression realy set in some time ago. It has made me physically sick to the point I have to put my children up for adoption. And me into an old age facility to care for me. So I can be around for my kids. Who are my everything. I am now to agoraphobic to leave the room I am in. But I know I have to for my kids. If I can do this so can you.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Supergirl,

Just wanted to welcome you to the forums. It sounds like you've come a long way in what you've gone through and I'm glad that you decided to join us and share your story and reach out to others.

There are many people on the forums who have been in similar type situations to yours; you can search keywords up the top of the screen (like OCD for instance) to find related posts that you want to look at or reply to.

You may also want to go to the sections directly to find posts that you want to join in or respond to -

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/young-people

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well

[Boo1986]

Hi Supergirl,

I think it is interesting that you chose the name Supergirl. I think despite everything, you are super! I can just imagine where you would have been in life with support and encouragement rather than bullying and put downs. It makes me so upset when people could choose to be kind and helpful, but decide to be cruel instead. I don't understand what the point of being cruel to you was, what the point of bullying was... I know everyone has their own problems but I don't think there is any excuse good enough for bullying. I am very sorry this happened to you and for all the pain it has caused.

I too have suffered from depression and anxiety since around 19, I started feeling something was wrong and knew that I was much more sensitive and emotional than everyone around me, but didn't have the courage to go and get help until I was a little older.

Most days I just want to be on my own (despite feeling lonely) just because it is safer... if I don't interact with people, then there is no one to be rude, cruel or angry towards me.

I have had a few negative relationships with abusive partners that I thought I could help, but nearly destroyed myself in the process.

I have a dog which encourages me to go out for a walk each day, to get some fresh air and exercise with still limited contact with other people so it still feels safe to me, I think this is probably the one thing that always keeps me going when things get really bad.

I have found a good job in a quiet office with nice people, and this really helps me to keep motivated. When I haven't been able to work, my depression spirals out of control as I worry people think that I am useless, and then I feel worthless. As much as some people hate getting up for work in the morning, for me I am just glad to have a reason to get out of bed. It gives me a bit of structure and consistency without being too overwhelming for me.

I thoroughly recommend online shopping! I avoid the shops in December, too many people and I get too anxious, this year I have done a lot of online shopping and found it takes so much of the stress away!

Good luck xo

[Verita]

Hi, i totally understand the internal chatter in the mind, and its great that you journal and get some thoughts out on paper, excercise is really good also and when we push ourselves to do it , it is probably as good as or better than an antidepressant. IT helps release some of the crappy feelings we have stored inside , a healthy release in a way to help us feel calmer and more grounded. Despite the chattering voices in the head. , these are ways to take the edge off even for a bit. Another way i like to calm my mind is to sit in the garden or a park and just breathe and see all the beauty around in the world, and remember you are also a beautiful person who can be successful in many ways. You sound very intelligent and write well and perhaps writing for yourself and others could be helpful and help you connect with others. I hope you have a friend who can go shopping with you and if it all becomes to much find a quiet place , garden/park to sit and let the noise and chaos pass you by.

[Croix]

Dear Supergirl,

I really sympathize with your situation.

This will not deal with your current predicament but may, if it applies to you, give you some more background information to help make sense of things from your past

I recently downloaded a small inexpensive book recommended by White Rose called Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World by Ilse Sand.

If you look at the thread:-
Forums/ Staying well/ Helpful books and resources

White Rose has written a pretty good precis of it. You might consider you are one of the roughly 20% of humanity to which it applies. The book does have explanations and a large number of practical tips for particular situations.

As I said here is just a possibility it may add to your understanding - it most definitely did to mine

My best wishes

Croix