is there anybody out there...

[Ravenq]

Not sure where to begin, I have trouble starting a conversation & then once I get going can find it hard to stop. A nervous rambler I guess you could call it.

Looking for the occasional bit of advice but mainly someone, anyone that will help me to feel less invisible. No one listens at home, I feel ignored & pushed aside, though I listen to them as I could not be rude & ignore them.

My cats love me though, or perhaps they pay me in cuddles for the food I give them 😉

Thanks for your time

[Music_Freak]

We're here, you won't be invisible. Post away, whenever you feel the need 🙂

I know all too well what it feels like to be invisible and feel isolated and coming here has been such a relief.

Cats and pets in general are great for making us feel good. My cat, Buddy, has been a big help for me, I can talk about him for hours

[Ravenq]

Thank you, yes it is definitely a relief. Finding this forum has been a good thing.

[hope4joy]

Hi Ravenq,

welcome to the forums. Nice to meet another cat-lover 🙂 I think my house-mates's cat's love may be in a large part due to the food, but she (Charlotte) has plenty of love so it doesn't matter! Who is that in your profile pic?

The forums are a great place to ramble. I can be a bit like that too - either very quiet or a barrage of words. I quite like my happy days where I talk so much - not sure if others around me get a shock though. The forums are a good place to express ourselves, and no one is here to interrupt you or cut you off.

And I'm sorry to hear about your home situation. Being made to feel invisible is horrible. Its great that you still live by your own values - you sounds like a caring person - for people and cats alike.

I hope to see you around Ravenq,

Christina 🙂

[Ravenq]

Hi Christina

this lil kitty is Snowy, she is quite funny & loves to play with the kids toys, or sit on them as the case is with this pic! She gives me lots of giggles which is always needed.

Not sure why it put the picture sideways though.

We have 4 cats, each with very different personalities.

1 Snowy the aloof funny one

2 Possum the playful snuggler (tortishell)

3 Gingy the sleep on your head cat (ginger)

4 Rusty the cranky old man that lives outside & sneaks in for snuggles when the kids are asleep or at school lol

I think they are the only ones keeping me sane at the atm

Raven

[Kazzl]

Hiya Raven, welcome aboard! How are you today?

I just wanted to say hi and mention that we have a number of cat lovers (and even virtual cats) in the BB Cafe, on the BB Social Zone board. It's a great place if you're looking for people to chat to (rambling encouraged 😄) about pretty much anything.

You mentioned you're after the occasional bit of advice - we do a good line in advice here, because we've all, in our own different ways, been through the mill. Is there anything you'd like some help with now, or are you happy just to chat (a fine therapy in itself I say). Please feel free to ask if there's anything in particular you would like to know, and tell us anything you feel comfortable saying about how you are and what's happening for you.

Good to have you here Raven. I look forward to talking with you.

Kaz

[geoff]

hi Ravenq, you seem to a very loving person to listen to everybody else and not wanting to idulge them in your own problems, that's lovely but you have to draw a line where you stop and where you begin to search for help.
It also seems as though you are apprehensive or a bit fearful in starting a conversation about what is troubling you or scared to talk about them and what you are struggling with, that's unfortunate because you won't know how to get better by staying quiet and that's what this site was set up to do to listen to anyone and then discuss about what ever it is that youare concerned about.
Many years ago we had a siamese cat for a very long time and when ever anyone knocked on the door they always asked where is the cat, only because she used to climb up peoples legs and sit on their shoulder, but she had long sharp claws. Geoff.

[Ravenq]

My life is in complete turmoil atm & the causes are spread across the last 44 years. It is difficult to choose a conversational starting point from that mess.

If I pick the issue that is doing my head in the most atm, it is that the constant psychological abuse from my husband has spread to my kids & I hate that he berates them constantly & makes them feel stupid and small and useless. For some reason it seems to be ok that he treats me like that(in my head) but now it's my kids I feel compelled to do something! What do I do? He doesn't even see that he is doing it. I now realise with the help of my therapist, that he is a total narcissist & it would take a miracle for him to see that he has a problem.

If we leave him I will have to leave my autistic step-daughter behind, how can I do that to her. Also I fear him & the massive backlash that will occur if I go. I'm afraid & im stuck & I feel trapped & wronged & I have no idea what to do.

[hope4joy]

Hi Raven,

thanks for your lovely description about your cats, it sounds like a wonderful tribe! I also notice you've changed the photo to possum and she is the right way up. I do love affectionate cats. And I know what you mean, that they are so important for health and wellbeing, having a small loving creature who is so uncomplicated. Does ginger really sleep on your head? There was a neighbourhood cat where I used to live called 'Jeffy', a ginger tom, and whenever I picked him up he'd migrate to the highest point on my back. He was so affectionate and bold, it seemed like nothing scared him. My cat now is Charlotte, a very pretty little birman who is moderately affectionate, much more before and after food. But I'm leaving for overseas in 2 weeks so I'll have to say goodbye to her. Gosh I think I could talk about cats all day 🙂 But I shall just read your latest post.

Oh Raven, I'm so sorry to hear how tough things are for you at home. That sounds really dreadful, the way you and your kids are being treated. No one deserves to be put down or belittled or abused. It makes sense that you can see his behaviour more clearly when he does this to your kids instead of you. I'm hoping other people gave some advice or suggestions for you. There is also a section on here about relationships so if you need more support know that you could also post in there. What sort of communication do you have with your husband? Are there times he will listen to you or accept he did the wrong thing?

I'm glad that you know this situation isn't healthy and that you and the kids don't deserve to be treated this way. Please trust that just acknowledging this is the first step towards change, whether that involves you staying with or leaving your husband. You sound like a wonderful mum to your children and step daughter.

Kind wishes, Christina

[Chris_B]

Hi fellow pet lovers...

In case you haven't seen it, we have a pet discussion thread in our Staying Well forum, it'd be great to have you all contribute:

Pets - helping you through tough times and keeping you well