Introduction

[Ejm]

I am male, 20 years old. I have been friendless and socially isolated for the past five or so years, which has made me feel rather depressed. I have been unable to get a job, besides an unpaid volunteer one.                                                           

[On The Road]

Welcome Ejm, welcome aboard 😊thanks for being open about that. I see part of my younger self in your description. You’ve still managed to keep up your volunteer work though, which shows initiative to stay connected, even when things feel hard. Feel free to reach out, vent, or chat 😊

[On The Road]

You’re still young bro, baby phase. the job market’s rough out there for young guys. doing any courses or uni stuff at the moment? 

[Summer Rose]

Hello and welcome to the forum

Thanks for sharing so much about yourself. I’m a mum who cares for an adult child who lives with a mental health condition.

I’m really sorry that you’re experiencing depression. Have you ever thought about seeking professional support? I ask because many people do recover from depression with the right treatment. Talking with your GP is a great place to start. 
Congratulations on your volunteer job. What do you do? No pressure to answer (only ever share as much as you want on the forum) but I really like your spirit of giving.

Kind thoughts to you

[Ejm]

No, I tried enrolling at Tafe, but it didn't work out. nearest one has mostly agricultural courses (which I'm not really into), and the other ones are too far away for my parents to drive to regularly (I don't currently live near public transport, and I am not able to drive on my own yet). I did one online course, but I failed it, because I procrastinated too much, and didn't finish it on time.

[sbella02]

Ejm,

Thank you so much for posting here, welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you're in this tough position right now.

Are there any small businesses near you at all? Cafes, fast food places, retail, anything like that? Otherwise, can you think of any friends, loved ones, anyone connected to family who you may be able to ask for a part-time or casual role somewhere? Local places and your personal connections can be a great way of finding employment.

Do you mind me asking why procrastinated in your online course? 

If it's a case of lack of interest in the subject matter, I'd suggest enrolling in a different course. If it's the difficulty of the work, it may be a case of seeking more support from tutors and mentors. Otherwise, there may still be solutions if this is something you'd be interested in pursuing to find work.

Feel free to keep chatting with us more if you'd like, you can share as much or as little as you'd like.

All the best, SB

[Ejm]

I've searched on job seeking websites, pretty much anything that I would be able to work at (doesn't require a degree or experience or something else I don't have) requires customer interaction, and I know for sure that I would not be good at that sort of thing.

As for my reason for procrastinating, that's kind of complicated, but I'm kind of an overthinker, which is part of what made it difficult for me.

[Happylife]

Hello and welcome to the forums Ejm,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story.  Really sorry to hear about your feelings of loneliness and depression. Social isolation and mental health have a direct relationship. Poor social support can be very challenging and can significantly affect health and well-being.

If I may ask and if you feel like sharing, do you have any family around or have you spoken to your GP or anyone about this?

Five or more years is a long time to be lonely and isolated. Very happy to hear about your volunteering job, that is a great way to support the community and to meet people.

You also mentioned that you are an overthinker. Do you think overthinking is part of the reason for your social isolation? Sometimes overthinking can make even simple decisions feel tough and then it spirals out-of-control. I am an overthinker myself and that makes me anxious sometimes. I try to challenge those thoughts and also tell myself to think about "just one day at a time or one thing at a time".

Overthinking can be very exhausting but maybe try to distract yourself or challenge negative thoughts. Reframing also really helps. When you find yourself overthinking, challenge these thoughts, reframe your thoughts and ask if they are realistic. It will be very difficult at first but slowly it can help you learn to replace negative thoughts with more positive helpful ones.

Hope this helps. Also, maybe consider getting professional support, they may help you identify coping strategies.

Please don't feel alone, here to listen if you need to talk more...

Take care

Happylife