Introduction of my depressed story

[mate4mate]

Hi Everyone thanks for reading this.

I am 24 years old man living in Melbourne, Originally from South Asian country where 'gay' is not really known and that was the saddest part. In western countries, at least they know being gay means having relationship with same sex and I know so many of us are raised being taught its so bad. And the part I missed out growing up was about existing such things. I had been a little bit femminine all my childhood, like doing things that my sister does more than my brother. and Some people made fun of me and some people appreciated that I did things better than other girls do. but during my teenager, I kept getting attracted to guys and I had no idea that it had to do something with my sexuality. I thought its some kind of feeling everyone gets. I didn't do any sexual stuff or say "I love you " to anyone but the person I was attracted kept staying on my mind all the time, after we finishing our school, we went to different cities for further education and I still got stuck with his memories on my mind. but later I did somehow gradually took those attractions about him out of my mind. but its just was like it replaced with someone else, and I still couldnt get it, but as I got older and in bigger city, once in a while they started saying you're gay if you are useless, pathetic and have only male friends. So I was sure that I m not gay if thats what gay is, I kept thinking that I m just straight guy who doesn't like girls because I have to focus on my career but after watching English movies which portray gay love, and then finally I got computer and internet access where I could research about homosexuality, then I was sure I am gay and i didn't want to accept the fact I was gay. I kept worrying about it and got distracted, couldnt focus on my study. I went to uni for four years and kept failing each exams. stopped talking to all of my old friends, relatives, then I met my partner that I am currently with, He helped me so much to accept myself, and I learned how to ignore the judgemental world. I still don't talk to old friends yet, I moved here in Australia hoping to start my new life with good social life, and planning to go back to uni for my Bachelor degree.

I am more than happy to volunteer and share my stories, experiences with anyone who likes to hear them and might be helpful to get some ideas.

thanks again

[demonblaster]

Hey mate 🙂 welcome to BB

I'll never understand why people have to have an issue with others sexuality, it's a personal choice, it's a natural feeling & no one else's business.
Homophobes are narrow minded imo which I have little time for but try and peacefully open their minds to reasons and other opinions but actually wanna slap em 😄 wake up donks there's a big world out there lol

Also a lot of homophobes are pretty conceited too, they presume as a lot that aren't too that just cause someone's gay or bi, that they're gunna fancy them automatically ..... ahhh Helloooo, not necessarily dears. Ego's a bit on the large side don't ya think lol Sigh. People aye. (I'm a chook.Bi, realised wayyyy later in life, lived in a few nurses homes & didn't realise then I was but had attraction to chooks along the way)

There's still a lot of hassles here but so glad to live in a country that same as mine (NZ, Kiwi) and a few others no doubt that the message is getting out that it's fine, it's a choice not like this choice hurts people it's the idiot homophobes that do more harm.

Pretty passionate on this as you can see lol, hate people being hassled when they're not hurting anyone, felt this way before I knew.

Good on you & happy for you being in a good relationship and feeling better about yourself

All the best for a happy life and sick it to em with Uni, you'll make it 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Hi mate4mate, thanks for posting and offering to share your stories and experiences here on our forums.

Our research tells us that around 13% of our members identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or intersex (LGBTI).  Sadly, we also know that LGBTI members are far more likely to be first seeking support on our forums because of suicidal feelings - 40% of LGBTI members in our last user survey cited "I felt suicidal and I wanted support" as a reason for coming to these forums.  

Please feel free to contribute to our LGBTI social cafe thread and meet other members of our community here.

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome to our caring BB community M4M;

I felt emotional reading thru your words. Congratulations though for persevering with your endeavours and finding love along the way. 🙂

I'm Sara and a Volunteer Community Champ who understands where you're at and where you've come from. I identify as Bisexual and have faced confusion and trauma in relation to my journey of self discovery also.

Sophie M is one of our amazing moderators (sometimes called Mod's) who support BeyondBlue Forum and its members. Our LGBTI café is called the Rainbow Café and can be found in the BB Social Zone section. Please feel free to visit and get to know us; members there will greet you with open arms.

Not only have you shared your personal story which gives our readers hope, offering support and encouragement as you have, is invaluable and absolutely commendable. I admire your courage and intent as worthy of high praise. I salute you my friend! Thankyou...

I look forward to getting to know you better and seeing your beautiful face around the threads.

Kind thoughts...

Sara x