introducing myself and my story

[Mikky1989]

hey everyone, i was tossing up whether to post on my social media account, but thankfully stumbled across beyondblue, as i dont really want to attract too much attention from my friends on my socials, i dont want this to be an attention grab, i just want to get it off my chest.

i'm a 31 year old male who has been dealing with a breakup with a girlfriend and a job loss for the past 2 months or so. i've never felt this alone or isolated in my whole life. i've recently been forced to shut a "best friend" out in an effort to look after myself and my mental health. the thought that i'll never speak to these 2 people again is hard to comprehend. I've had thoughts of hurting myself (which i never thought i ever would). some days the thought of getting out of bed seems impossible, the thought of asking my friends for help seems pointless because they wouldn't understand, this is my issue and i need to deal with it by myself. i've been to see a soul psychotherapist about 2 months ago, and just yesterday had my first session with a psychologist.

As this coincides with mens mental health week, which i had no idea about, i thought it would be great to post a small part of my story. sometimes the cost of a therapist can turn people away, or the "stigma" of talking about your feelings can make you feel weak or vulnerable. i work on trade sites and mens mental health isn't spoken about at all, and if it is brought up, its a passing comment like "take care of your mental health" or :look after yourself" without actually taking the time to have a proper discussion or offering any sort of help. after years of that i found myself at 31 feeling alone, isolated, misunderstood and begging for help.

i've just started a 10 session mental health plan, my first session was more of a get to know you, background kind of session (which i guess is normal?) and i'm excited to stay in touch here and log my progress, both in therapy and outside therapy. i hope this helps somebody, as writing it all out has certainly helped me, thanks.

[rtfm]

Hey mate,

Thanks for being so open to share where you're at - as you've noted, it can feel almost unnatural to own up to this kind of vulnerability.

I'm about the same age as you, and have a background in fabrication / residential construction. I agree with you about how mental health is rarely spoken about except as something that happens to other people, but I know a few guys in particular (a foundryman, a licensed builder, and a very good plumber) who I've spoken with quite a lot about mental illness and the trouble we each have with it. Fact of the matter is that the guys having panic attacks each morning as they drive to work are having panic attacks even if they call it 'feeling a bit off'. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's spent days wondering if the paslode in my hand will punch through my skull, and being able to front up and recognise you've got something you need a lift with gives you a pretty rare opportunity: you can give other people what you wish you had, namely; you can share your experiences and allow other people to feel safe in recognising and dealing with their own.

Thanks for saying hey, and take it easy mate.

t.