Introducing myself and looking for some guidance
my name is Ally and this is the first time I’ve posted on a beyond blue forum. I’m a little nervous sharing what I’m currently going through, but having read through some of the other threads it’s given me some confidence seeing the support and positivity and respect everyone shows each other.
I have anxiety and depression, it was first diagnosed 3 years ago when I lost everyone in my family.
At the moment I’m with my partner of 6 years, but I need to leave. He’s addicted to drugs (for some anonymity I’m not going to name which one in particular) and although he’d been doing great for a while he’s back on them. Because of this we can’t afford our rent, his behaviour is so manipulative and emotionally abusive that I just can’t do it anymore. The instability, mood swings, disappearing for days, letting me down constantly and excusing his drug use by blaming me for it. Recently he even said he planned and was going to kill himself after we had a fight, but got high instead and he said if I hadn’t put him in that state he wouldn’t have had to get high.
I can’t keep doing this, I’ve been struggling for so long trying to help him but I can’t keep doing it anymore and I need to get out. But I’m so stuck, I don’t have enough money to leave and get my own place. He’s destroyed my credit rating so I can’t even get a loan to help me. I’ve tried multiple non profit organisations for a no interest loan to set myself but I’ve been knocked back everytime.
Im starting to feel like there’s no way out. I don’t have family I can go to, my closest friends are living interstate and I’m terrified that I’ll be stuck here forever.
if anyone has been in a similar situation and knows where I could find some help I would be so grateful. I just feel so lost and alone.
Hello Ally, I am terribly sorry for the situation you are in, and as much as you want to, it's very difficult to get your partner with an addiction to stop, that decision has to come by themselves, and even though they may stop it's not unusual for them to start once again when times become tough.
He can't blame you, it's totally his decision and can understand why you need to leave.
If you are receiving any Centrelink payment then they can pay the bond as well as 2 weeks rent, which you slowly pay off, but if you fear your credit rating may be affected, then you could do a couple of options.
If you friends are interstate ask them if they want another border to stay with them for a short stay, alternatively, on the local town board there may be someone wanting another border.
Being on Centrelink you might have 2 vouchers that allow you travel free of any charge.
Another option have you contacted Anglicare who provide flats/houses for people in your situation, and ould really like to hear back from you.
I'm so sorry for your challenge.
I think you're absolutely right. You've tried your best to support your partner, which is great. Now you need to put your safety as priority.
Except applying loans, there're organisations out here providing free temporary support to youth.
For example, have a look here:
Hopefully everything will be better soon.
hello and thank you for reaching out and telling your story.
sometime putting your thoughts out there (ie on this forum) can help (1) it can transform the thoughts in your head and (2) people here will respond with their thoughts and ideas. It sounded as though you had enough and need to leave your relationship. What you have described did not sound nice. To make that decision is a big step and takes courage in itself.
And then you hit a bit of a brick wall or barrier. How?!?
Both Geoff and Mark have made some good suggestions to help you accomplish that how. You could also contact 1800 RESPECT (https://www.1800respect.org.au/services) who may also give some suggestions on the next steps.
I hope this all works out for you.