Im the new girl.

[Qwerty2017]

Well.. hi.

I dont exactly know how I even found these forums but Im glad I have, Im really just struggling and need a helping hand, some advice, anything.

Im 21, Ive struggled with depression for the past 10 years. Ive been getting help on and off for 6 years now but I feel like Im just lost.

About 6 months ago I knew that something needed to happen. I visited the gp, got on meds and started seeing a psychologist again. All was going good for about three months, I was improving and really starting to get somewhere.

Then. That wall came right back up, smack bang in front of me yet again.

I just need some help. I just need people I can relate to. I just need something..

[james1]

Hey Qwerty,

Thanks for posting on the forums. It's lovely to meet you here.

It sounds like you've been struggling for quite a while and can't quite shake the depression. That must be really hard for you, especially to have it come back when you just start to feel like maybe you've gotten on top of it.

It is okay if you don't want to share, but perhaps if you can let us know what happened after the three months? It sounds like you might still be seeing your doctors but it's just not happening for you right now?

To tell you a little bit about myself, I'm 25 (quarter century, darn!) and struggling with a bunch of things. My depression is very on/off but it's been lingering around this time for just over a year now. I also take ADs and see a psychologist (twice a week, but frankly I can't afford it so dropping back to once), and I suppose I try to just give myself some mental...room. I've kind of accepted that some days are going to be write-offs but that's the way it goes I suppose. Each down that I get through is just a little win over my depression.

There's a bunch of resources in the links below. The support line number is useful too if you want to speak to someone on the phone. The people on the lines are very understanding and are there to lend an ear if you're struggling.

James

[kanga_brumby]

Qwerty welcome to BB forums one of the safe places to get advice on what ever you need. With out knowing what advice you need I will just say in here if you give information in general terms ( no names unless changed to protect the innocent) you can get some good advice in here. from people who are experiencing the same issues. Or have done before. Most of the numbers below are good for a chat, when you need someone to talk to. If it needs a quick response, rather than waiting for someone to respond in the forums.

Kanga

[Qwerty2017]

Hi James

After about three months I just hit a plateau, struggling to swallow my ADs which led to coming off them, nightmares almost every night, constant thoughts and being overwhelmed.

I still see my psychologist but only about once a month, and Im currently going through depression screening with my GP trying to dig deeper into this abyss.

Some days I do do okay, but my depression is just constantly dragging me down and theres just no joy in things again.

Thank you for sharing, I will have a look at those resources.

[Qwerty2017]

Hi Kanga,

Thank you for the advice and a heads up to forums.

[geoff]

hello Qwerty, welcome to the site.
You must remember that once we have had depression it never leaves us, but we are able to cope or control it and then live another life, I say 'another' because our personality completely changes to what it was before, but even still, it won't stop you from having a relapse that could happen for no apparent reason, it's certainly not what you would ever want, none of us do, but unfortunately it does happen, and for me it's been several times.
I'm sorry that now you are having to face this, but there does come a couple of positive points I would like to mention, before you have fallen they was so much that you have learnt, situations you now avoid and you know what can trigger you off, sure none of these may have been aware of, but they are now, if you know what they were, but look at it as though you have climbed up another step in recovery, it may not feel that way, but please trust me when I say this.
At the moment you need to overcome this relapse with all the support you can get. Geoff.

[Qwerty2017]

Hi Geoff

Thank you for your perspective it was very helpful

It certainly does feel like 'another life' to when we are back on track, doesnt it? I guess it is alwaus going to be watching from the background.

I have learnt some new things along the way, that is a good way of looking at it. And jopefully I can learn more from these stumbles

Qwerty