Im a newbie at this

[Brooklyn99er]

Hi Everyone,

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for almost 2 years now, and I'm at my lowest, i have a wonderful partner who is very supportive but sometimes she doesn't seem to know how to help, so she gets frustrated and i feel guilty for feeling sad and low and that seems to make it worse, she also has been going through some tough times, so when we are both low nothing seems to help.

I am very nervous about opening up with people face to face about my problems so finally took steps to start trying to get better, by joining this wonderful supportive community. I have been scrolling through some of the other posts and already i feel more comfortable about sharing my story. I look forward to chatting with you all and getting not only myself out of this rut but helping others (hopefully)

🙂

[blondguy]

Hello Brooklyn99er

Welcome to The Beyond Blue Community. My name is Paul and thankyou for posting!

I do understand your depression/anxiety, it can feel isolating. You show great courage by reaching out and posting. I have had depression/anxiety for many years and will try to be of help to you.

Firstly on your partner....If you scroll down the page you see the header 'Supporting Someone with depression/anxiety' This can be a great help to your partner....maybe if you print it off and leave a copy for her. It can be a lot easier compared to communicating the technicalities of the illness. It will clear the air a great deal.

If I may ask you...do you have a GP/therapist that you see on a regular basis? This is always a huge bonus and gives us a platform on which we can heal.

Thankyou for your kind words about the BB community 🙂 There are a great many kind people on the forums that can be here for you and are in similar situations too.

I admire your strength and attitude. It would be great if you could post back about anything you wish Brooklyn.

My Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hi Brooklyn,

I too would like to welcome you to the community here. I joined Beyond Blue a couple of years ago during a rather down time in my life. I have certainly benefited from the help and advice of others. In a way it is reassuring and comforting to know that what you are experiencing is not abnormal, for some people it is part of life.

Paul has already given you some great advice about reading the material supplied here and contacting your Dr.

My husband and I both suffer from depression and other mental health issues. Life can be a little "interesting" at times when we are both feeling low at the same time.

We had a bit of couples counselling. We went twice together and my husband thought that was enough! Ha. Ha.

The more information you have about depression and anxiety, most importantly how to over come these illnesses, then the easier it will be for you to cope and find strategies that will help you.

As you may have noticed this forum covers a variety of topics, there are some fun threads as well.

Feel welcome to participate in anything here you would like to join in or contribute to.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Brooklyn99er]

thank you both for replying, i am seeing a doctor once a week for this, but am finding it very difficult to open up fully face to face, which is why i decided to come online and join BB. I already feel comforted by your kind and encouraging words. so thank you for that.

I have had a tough couple of years and appreciate the support 🙂

i came out as bisexual in the last year and have the best partner i could possibly wish for, but have also not healed from a very abusive previous relationship which ended very awfully, found out i was pregnant 3 days after i ended the relationship. I do have the best family, who are super supportive, but sometimes i feel like I'm a let down to them, and i know its in my head, but i think coming online is the best thing for me right now.

🙂

[blondguy]

Hello Brooklyn

Thanks for getting back and saying hello. I am happy (actually more than just happy) that you have an awesome partner! Nice1

I was in the same as you with not opening up to my doc/therapist. In my first two years of depression I was like a brick wall to mt doc....until she started probing into my heart and private space and I burst into tears...I felt nervous and was so embarrassed by using up all her tissues.....Until the next day when I realised that she had to press the buttons she did to get me to vent and have a really good cry.....Its one of the best things I have done by bawling my eyes out to someone that I really didnt know

It is difficult to open up to a doc Brooklyn....I do understand so much.

Congrats for having a great family who are supportive and of course your gem of a partner too

If you wish to post back when you are comfortable about 'letting your guard down' to your doc I am here for you

My Kind Thoughts

Paulx

[Doolhof]

Hi Brooklyn,

Getting over a difficult or traumatic relationship can be tough. I ran away from a very abusive husband and am so thankful I did so.

For me, I had issues with a sense of self worth and self esteem. I read books and information about these issues and had a wonderful, dedicated friend in Holland who helped me immensely. Back in those days we wrote to each other! It could take a couple of weeks until I received her letters and wise words.

Now we email each other and still help and support each other as best we can from such a distance.

I have learnt that I am me, and that is the only person I can be. I can't make everyone happy, nor can I make people like me. Either they do or they don't.

You too have the ability to be the person whom you want to be.

If you have trouble expressing how you feel to your Dr. while talking, then write down how you are feeling. As Paul mentioned, don't be afraid that you might cry, if you need to let it happen. Most Drs. have tissues in their rooms for just that reason. It is not because they all have colds! Ha. Ha.

You may be feeling a sense of grief over your last relationship. Google grief and look at the different stages that are involved. It may help you to realise how you are feeling is normal.

There is a saying you may well of heard of that goes "If life gives you lemons, then make lemonade". Sometimes we need a little help to make that lemonade, a little nudge to do something differently, some help to let go of the past and to try a new direction.

I'd like to encourage you to communicate with your Dr any way it works for you, even if you write it all on your electronic device and hand it to him or her to read.

Keep in touch with your family, maybe organise a gathering, a picnic, a meal out, and slip them all a card or a note to tell them how much they mean to you. Or write a thank you for something they have done in the past that you appreciated or enjoyed.

Communicate well with your partner as well. You are in this journey together.

Oh dear, such a long waffle from me. Ha. Ha.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Brooklyn99er]

Mrs. Dools,

They are all wonderful ideas. I am seeing my doctor this afternoon and hopefully i'll be able to say whats been happening but i love the idea of typing it on my phone and then showing them that. I know in previous relationships if we were having difficulty expressing how we were feeling we would go to separate rooms and just write everything down. But i didn't think about doing it with a doctor before (who knows why).

I had a feeling that i am still grieving over what had happened to me, and thats why i have been so all over the place in recent years. I will try and communicate this with my doctor, hopefully she will be able to give me some coping mechanisms, i do feel more settled in my head since making the appointment and do look forward to what she will say. I do feel worried and its probably in my head that there will be an element of judgement, but i know thats what doctors are for, their support and expertise in these matters.

I'll have to google grief as per your suggestion and see what it says.

Thank you both for all the support

🙂

[blondguy]

Hi Brooklyn

I am so happy that you have made an appointment to see your doc this afternoon 🙂 I congratulate you on your strength to do so!

The docs are there to heal and improve your quality of life...They are a gift...

Your attitude is pro-active and I am so very proud of you:-)

Paul