Hello SobrietyGal
Good on your 3 years of sobriety. You've done really well. Welcome to Beyond Blue forums.
Why are you not always in the driver's seat? That's a good question. If I could answer that, then everyone would be ok? Not sure if that's the case. There is so much anxiety and what causes it. I'm not a therapist so can only give you the support from my own experiences.
Do you have a doctor and/or a therapist/counsellor you see regularly? I've found for myself, this has helped tremendously to help me build the resilience I need when I get triggered, or there are challenges in front of me.
From my own experience, I know what you mean about workforces not supporting people with mental health issues or drug and alcohol problems. This has changed a little, but unless you're in a very supportive environment you'll be constantly second guessing what they think or what they don't think. That is actually part of anxiety. I always think I know exactly what others think of me. It's generally the worse. The best thing I do in these situations is to challenge my thoughts - e.g. How on earth do I know what others are thinking of me? Have I asked? Did I seek clarification of the work instruction? When was that paper required? Oh, not tomorrow, next week is fine. How often did I place these unhelpful thoughts in my way, only to find out later on it was all in my own head.
I'm not sure if I'm making any sense here. What I'm trying to say is anxiety can and does distort thinking. For example:
- Discount the positives
- Jump to conclusions by mind reading or fortune telling
- Magnify or minimise an issue
- Blame self and others.
Once I learnt to self talk and to talk with others I found most of the things that I magnified or minimised weren't an issue at all. That I really wasn't any good at all with mind reading and fortune telling. It helps to reduce the anxiety.
You talk about being sober for 3 years. Do you have anyone you talked with during this time that you can talk to again? Did you use the 12 step method or something else?
I'd like to hear more from you when you can or if you feel like it. Don't be put off by all the questions. There is absolutely no pressure for you to answer any of them if you don't want.
Kind regards
PamelaR
