i drink, im depressed, i can get anything done, feel worthless

johnthesadblue · ‎26-09-2016

Is this a familiar theme here?

Paul · ‎26-09-2016

Hi johnthesadblues,

Thanks for joining the forums and letting us know how you're feeling. Unfortunately it is a familiar painful theme for many of us on the forums. The good thing is that I know of a lot of people on here who have been able to kick the drink, start to get well using multiple approaches and feel better again. One of the approaches is being on a forum like this to express how you feel and also make contact with kindred spirits. You're definitely not alone. I have a friend who I'm going to ask to join in our chat here I know that my friend has battled with some similar issues and has great advice.

The compounding of drink and feeling depressed and then not getting anything done can lead to feeling worthless which can make the whole thing a big circle, as the worthless feeling needs something to not be as painful so the cycle starts again.

Are there any things you have tried so far to help feel better? Talk to your GP or a counsellor or learnt any mind exercises or are there any books you've read or friends you have confided in?

Hope to chat soon.

Paul

MarkJT · ‎26-09-2016

Hey John, as what Paul has indicated above, i reckon the most important thing to realise straight up is that you are not alone. There are so many people out there (and in these forums) that are in your position.

There is nothing to suggest that you can get back on track and take control of your life once again.

When we feel worthless, obviously it is exceedingly difficult to get things done but a good place to start is setting small achievable goals. For me when i was at my lowest, exercise was my saviour. I set a goal to run a 1/2 marathon and with each run, edging closer and closer to achieving this, i felt some sense of self worth coming back to me. When i did obtain my goal I was pumped and went on to run a few marathons. Each with specific goals in mind. Self worth didn't skyrocket but certainly got some decent amount back.

Now i'm not suggesting that you go out and run marathons, what i am suggesting is that there would be something in your past life that you loved doing. Get back to them, set the goals and when you achieve, tick them off.

Obtaining some clinical help for depression is a must though. You have taken a massive step in posting in this forum so get to the GP and get a referral. You wont regret it.

Do some research on mindfulness. It is a type of meditation and it works. It is about living in the present, not worrying about the future nor the past. When you practice it enough you will be able to ground yourself easily so when you are tempted to have a drink, you may be able to avoid that and drink some water or something else other than alcohol.

Another thing that has been helpful is when you are about to do something that could be destructive behaviour, and this could be having a drink, stop prior to that and just ask yourself, is this a good decision. Can be really difficult to but with persistence you can do it.

So good that you have posted and don't be afraid to ask as many questions as you need answered or advice sought, there are so many wonderful people on these forums that will help where they can.

blondguy · ‎26-09-2016

Hi johnthesadblues

It is a very common theme. Paul and MarkJT have great advice above...can I ask you if you have a small support group of friends....even 1 or 2 that you can bounce off?

There are many super kind people on the forums that can be here for you John. I hope you can stick around

My kind thoughts for you

Paul (another one....)

CMF · ‎27-09-2016

Hi,

Welcome and the first thing I must say is that you are not worthless. I don't drink but I go through periods of depression now and then but had a bad trot a few years ago. I pushed myself to go walking everyday and I found this extremely helpful. Yes a visit to your GP is a good start too but on top of that a good diet, no junk/ processed foods .

Do you have some good friends you could get out and about with? I know you may not feel like it but it may help to get your mind off things. Do you have any hobbies, play sport, work/study? How long have you felt this way? Of course you don't have to answer these questions but i'd love to know more about you. We are all here to help and support each other. You are just as valuable as anyone else.

Hope to hear back from you.

cmf x

CMF · ‎27-09-2016

I forgot to mention, I read something on another thread re drinking. It was something along the lines of a 10 minute rule, so when you feel like a drink, wait 10 minutes. Distract yourself, get busy doing something for 10 minutes. After the 10 minutes if you still have the urge do another 10 minutes and continue in 10 minute blocks until the urge to drink passes. I guess by breaking it down into small blocks it feel more achievable.

In relation to not getting anything done - make a list of jobs and tackle hem one at a time at your own pace. I have a friend with depression who becomes very overwhelmed at the thought of so many things to do and how to get through them. Make a list, one by one IN YOUR OWN TIME you get through them, doesn't matter how long it takes, days, weeks, months whatever. As you complete a task you cross it off. Its amazing how satisfying it is to see things crossed off your list. You can see your achievements. I also do this even for little things - cleanout a cupboard, wash sheets, tidy the garden.

There's no pressure to get them done but when you do it feels good.

cmf x

johnthesadblue · ‎27-09-2016

Thanks Paul. Yes, I have a close circle of friends who I have shared my concerns with.

I'm concentrating on improving my golf game...hadnt played for 20 years.

Heading os for five weeks will re-charge my batteries.

John

Kazzl · ‎28-09-2016

Hi John, sorry I'm coming in a bit later here. Yes your theme is very familiar to me. I went through similar things for a long time, self-medicating with alcohol until it took control of me. I realised I couldn't begin to sort myself out until I got sober. Long story shorter, I have now been sober for five and a half years.

John there is a thread called Battling the booze on the Staying well board that might help ... it has the stories of a number of BB members who have struggled with alcohol, and it is a place for seeking support. You are very welcome to join us there.

Good luck with golf game - I'm envious, haven't played for years but I used to really enjoy it. And safe travels too. Hope to see you again soon.

Kaz