Husband in prison

[Hollow]

I know my husband is innocent, he is incarcerated for something he did not do a week ago, we have been married for 27 years and I’m not coping at all, I’m depressed , hate life and would not care if I faded away and died, it sounds morbid and I know I have a problem with these thoughts but I’m so sad, I don’t have tears left, I still hear him whistling or Keep thinking I hear his car. When the dogs bark I think he has been let free and has come home, I can’t function and my grandchildren are not even putting a smile on my face, I don’t want to have a life without him and I am extremely worried about him, I lay here and don’t do anything 

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

thank you for your opening in sharing what is happening to you (and your husband). I'm really sorry you're going through this... it would be heartbreaking that after 27 years together, to have your husband taken away like that, especially when you believe he's innocent, is a huge shock. In the previous weeks things might have been normal, and now there is a gap to be filled, even though you know where and cannot be with you 😞

No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed, numb, and just not yourself. That kind of sadness can make everything feel heavy and pointless.

Have you talked to anyone about what you are going through and/or the effect this is having on you?

Talking to someone, even a phone call to a support line might be able to help. There are people out there who care and want to support you through this. You matter, even when it feels like everything's falling apart.

You don’t have to have all the answers or fix it all right now. Listening...

[sbella02]

Hey Hollow,

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry to hear, that must be so tough. Thank you for opening up to us here, I hope you can find some comfort in the forums.

It makes sense to me that you would be feeling like this. You've lost the presence of somebody who has clearly meant a lot to you for a very long time. What you're going through right now may be somewhat of a grief period - you may be grieving the loss of that privacy and closeness you can share when he's there, the activities you may do together, perhaps a sense of routine. That sadness that you're feeling may also follow a similar pattern of having awful moments and better moments, or where certain things trigger you more than others, like photos or anniversaries or keepsakes. 

How have you responded to grief in the past? Do you prefer to do things that keep you connected to somebody? Do you like staying busy or keeping yourself distracted? Do you look through photos or reminisce about memories with people?

These kinds of things may be good to consider during this time. Above all, it's important to treat yourself kindly, and to recognise that you also don't have to go through it alone. 

Is there anybody in your life who you would feel comfortable confiding in about how you're feeling in this moment? Any friends, loved ones, co-workers, or family members who would understand or talk through your feelings with you, their support, insight, and company can be really meaningful during such a difficult time.

If you're seeking somebody objective to chat to about how you're feeling, our Beyond Blue 24/7 chat may also be a good resource to look into.

Self-care activities may also be a really powerful place to start. What are some things that you've done in the past that usually make you feel better? Hobbies, seeing loved ones, having a relaxing bath, meditating, journalling? Even if you feel disconnected from these activities, encouraging yourself to attempt them anyway can make a big difference. 

I hope some of this can resonate with you. Just know that if you need to let more off your chest, we're here to support you.

All the best, SB