Hi to everyone this is my first time

[cpoli99]

Well lets get to the point I am a 35-year-old man who is all alone and hates himself, has no friends, spends his weekends alone, wants to break free of his depression and anxiety but find it soo hard to open up to people and have the power and motivation to leave his house. I want to be more open and meet new people who feel the same way and hopefully, this can help me get over and conquer my depression. I dont know what else to do i am on medication which is helping but it can only do so much. Hop e i can talk to someone and start a dialog

[BballJ]

Hi cpoli99,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out, you have come to the right place.

Personally, I am a long term anxiety sufferer mixed in with some depression as well, is there anything in particular you want to talk about? Do you want to talk about your story and how this all came about?

Please, post back as much as you like, I am always happy to talk.

My best,

Jay

[Feeling_Lonely]

Hi cpoli99 and welcome!

Thank you for saying hello and telling us a bit about yourself. I’m 39, single, lonely and am learning to love and accept myself also. Some days can be a lot harder than others, that’s for sure.

I recently started counselling and have found it really helpful for me. In particular to just get my thoughts in order and to stop the internal battle that seems to always exist in my head. Have you tried counselling before? It may be helpful in addition to the medication you are on.

I have to say that loneliness is possibly one of the worst feelings in the world. Especially when you add anxiety to the mix and it makes you want to isolate yourself further. Do you have any hobbies or interests that could get you out of the house and interacting with other people? Sometimes I make myself get up and go for a morning walk and force myself to smile and say good morning to strangers and it is surprising how many people acknowledge you in return. Something small, but the fresh air and exercise is good too.

I also like to journal my thoughts as well and always try to write down 3 things I like about myself and 3 things I’m grateful for. The first time I tried I sat there staring at a blank page for what felt like hours trying to find 3 simple things I liked about myself... the good news is, I eventually came up with something. It’s now gotten easier to find things even though it felt ridiculous at first.

Trying to find your inner positive voice can be difficult, but with some probing and consistent effort I’m sure you will find it. Being kind to yourself when you feel this way is difficult, but it is so important to treat ourselves with love and kindness, especially throughout these dark times.

You are certainly not alone here, your contribution to this forum is valued and will not only help you but others who are also feeling the same.

Take care 🙂

[geoff]

hello Cpoli99, and can I welcome you to the forum.
It is very difficult when a doctor or psych asks you 'how can I help you', you freeze up not knowing what to say, so you tongue tied, so what I would do is to continue to write down what you maybe grateful for in life, but to extend this to write down everything that has made you feel this way, then you can hand this over to your doctor and/or psych, this will break the ice, because you have told them by your journal, then the correct treatment can begin. Geoff.

[cpoli99]

Hi Guys and thank heaps for the replys. This alone helps a lot. I don't have anyone i can really talk to. My family members really aren't a lot of help especially my mother who herself is a hypochondriac and gets emotionally stressed whenever i try to talk to her and it upsets me further. I have been told many times about the journal entry but i always feel stupid and blank whenever i try to fill one out, almost like its pointless. But from what you guys have said it seems to make a difference i think i will try to give it another go. I don't know how well i will do but a start is better than nothing i suppose. One of the things that seems to get to me is the constant negative thoughts that drives me crazy. Stuff like all the times i have made a mistake or embarrassed myself or hurt somebody by my actions. Nothing physical just being selfish and childish, people who have hurt me for no reason and of course the fact that i am alone have no friends. I find it extremely difficult to confined and reach out to people, but i will say this helps. As for hobbies i am always wanting to try new things but its getting out the door and even out of bed that is the real hurdle it all just feels pointless so much.

I will start a journal today and keep you guys posted on my progress and i hope you guys have a safe and happy holidays. Unfortunately i always find this time of the year the worst to get through though but i will do my best.

[Birdy77]

Hi cpoli99,

You have had some awesome advice from Jay, FL and Geoff and it's great that you are going to give journaling another go.

I understand what you mean about feeling like there's no point and being stuck with what to write. I had some advice to me once that even if you write what you think is rubbish, it can help to get something moving, somewhere inside. So, even if you write down words that don't seem to even be coherent, sentences that don't make sense, that's ok, because it might eventually shift something, and open up the floodwaters to meaningful processing of thoughts and feelings.

I hope that made sense (i hope it wasn't an example of a page of rubbish!).

You are not alone with this time of year being difficult. There are a lot of us who will be struggling over the next while as christmas and new year approach. There is an Xmas thread in the forum that you can have a look at and join in if you like. It might help you to feel a bit more connected or at least know that there are plenty of people who understand and empathise with loneliness especially at this time.

Take care 🌻 birdy

[BballJ]

Hi cpoli99,

That is exactly what these forums are for, finding people who have gone through these mental health battles and leaning on them for support in these times, it is never easy and like you, I do not have many friends and find these forums helped me so much when I was at my peak of suffering. If you find the journal helps then keep doing it but it is worth giving it a chance, I think they key is writing any and everything, sometimes you might write one thing and then everything starts to come out.

My best,

Jay

[cpoli99]

Hello everybody its been a while since my last post, I completely got distracted by life and all its misery and forgot I had even started this forum. It's good to be back though and read these comments. I started a journal to help me get along. I took advice from FL and wrote

What three things am I grateful for?
1) I have a house over my head that is nearly paid off
2) I am in generally good health
3) My family is in generally good health

What three things I like about myself?
1) I like to learn new things
2) I am compassionate
3) I am open-minded to new things

What other steps do you recommend in writing a journal? Hope to hear from you soon guys

[cpoli99]

Hi guys

Feeling a little discouraged, no one has seem to come on my forum to talk to me so i guess i am better off trying to find new people else were in other forums to hopefully make a connection with someone there, i still hold hope that someone will communicate with me here to start a dialogue but well see i suppose

[Birdy77]

Hello cpoli99,

I'm sorry you feel discouraged.

Sometimes posts can get lost in the thousands that are posted ... so it's not a reflection on you.

People come and go on the forums, that's another thing....

How are you feeling lately?

You said you were starting a journal, has that helped?

Sometimes just writing on a forum such as this can help somewhat.

I am interested to hear how you are.

🌻birdy