Hi Newbie Frosty

[frosty1972]

Hi

I am new to all this, I am 44 I thought this would be a place I could find others who are suffering from deep disabilitating depression like I suffer.

I am very isolated from people & family. When I try & talk about what is going on with me or what is in my head it just gets shrugged off & a new subject about them is brought up. i have learned not too bother anyone & just try & do the best I can.

I hope to hear from you

Kind regards

Frosty

[Starwolf]

Good to meet you Frosty,

You have come to the right place, may it be to connect and share or to let some steam off.

Depression is debilitating and isolating. You deserve all the help and support you can get. It is hard to understand for those in its grip, even more so for those around them. How do you explain something that lies beyond the scope of reason and logic ? Due to ignorance, most people end up saying/doing things that are more frustrating than helpful. Or they dismiss it, say/do nothing at all.

You will find helpful tips on discussing mental health by copying this link into your browser:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/have-the-conversation/talk-about-it#findwords

Please feel free to post as much and as often as you wish. The more we get to know you, the better we can assist and support you. That is what we would like to do. Rest assured that you will be heard...and understood. We are all different and are affected in different ways. But there are many people around these forums who will have a clear idea of what you are up against.

Good to have you on board.

[Croix]

Dear Frosty~

I'm very pleased you reached out here. For someone that is new to it all and has not had a good response from people and family I think you will find a difference on the Forum. Many have suffered depression and can say how things went for them.

When about your age I went through a particularly bad time with PTSD, depression and anxiety. It was totally crippling, I was in the blackest of places and could not relate to people or family, I felt isolated and removed. It all ended up with me spending a time in hospital with a change of meds.

After that things improved, and now while I'm not 100%, I am in a pretty good place.

People don't or won't understand in many cases. I was lucky in that my wife did, but there were many for whom it was either too hard or they ended up showing they did not really care anyway.

Trying to do the best you can. Are you trying by yourself or with medical help? There is no way I could have soldiered on alone, outside professional help was a must.

If it was me I'd visit my doctor for a long consultation. If you have been there before maybe get your current regime checked, if not set it all out and be tested for depression. You may end up on a Health Plan with visits to a psychologist, therapy, meds and guided self-help.

I know you have not had much luck with personal support, is there anyone you can talk to who might understand? A relative, particular family member or friend? I found having even one person to share things a real boon.

You have not said much about your own situation, a partner? Kids? How your life is. Do you work?

Please post back and say more, it can be the start of understanding and care

Croix

[Muddlee]

Hi Frosty 1972,

You're never too old to take action and seek support on your journey to better mental health and improving the quality of your life. A warm welcome to you 🙂 And I too am quite annoyed when people disregard the importance of mental health. I have anxiety and despite talking about it here and there I too feel isolated sometimes when I have no one to talk to. I feel that people give me the old "Oh here we go again...what is it now..." look and disregard the fact that I'm having a tough week or month...But for me, the worse thing that I did was doing just that - isolating myself. It can be incredibly difficult to talk to people - I get shakes in my jaw, feel weak, tense and exhausted all over my body, have nothing to say and just want to avoid people. But, over time, these feelings have mattered less and less and I'm starting to see the importance of seeking support and letting people know, despite what they think of me, how I feel and what's going on in my life. These forums were essentially one of the first steps for me so well done 🙂 Keen to hear back how you're going and whether you've ever considered or reached out to professional help such your GP, a therapist, counsellor etc?

Muddleee

[Shred1106]

Welcome Frosty

I can totally relate to your description as debilitating. I have been forced to give up work as a result of my situation and, months later am still struggling with things. My family too is difficult and distant, and even though some of them too have depression, they have always seen me as the strong one after our parents died - they don't understand me personally.

For me it's been a few good pals who really have been amazing (mind you it took a couple of trips to hospital to realise that they are not judgmental and wanted to help); a GP, psychologist (who even messaged me daily to see how I was for a few weeks) and a psychiatrist to find a medication that kind of works for me.

Everyone who experiences this walks a different pathway through it, but know that the forums are a good general support, venting mechanism and are there 24/7.I would encourage you to see your GP in the first instance to put some more supports in place...

Do let us know how you are going if you feel comfortable to....we do care..

Shred

[geoff]

hello Frosty, welcome to the BB site and thanks for posting your comment.
I hope that you are still checking your post.
When you first want to tell people that you have a mental problem, not that you say it that way, al the might be interested in knowing any nitty gritty details, rather want to help you, and if you don't mention anything, then they will disappear and you won't see them again.
These are the friends you would think would be right by your side, to help, associate with you, as well as get together, but no one wants to talk about depression, 'because it makes them feel depressed', well of course that's what this illness is all about, the feeling of being horribly sad for a long time, easy to cry, r/ships falling apart and failing at school or work because of how you feel.
My concern is whether or not you have decided that you don't want to join this group of people anymore or whether they have left you out, either way loneliness creates depression but this illness will be caused by many other issues, some you may know of, but it's those problems you don't know that are causing your depression.
We would love to hear back from you, I know it's been a couple of days since you posted, but please don't be afraid to talk to any of us, because all of us have each gone through our own type of depression, some who have overcome it and those who are still struggling but have given their time to try and help other people. Geoff. x