Hi new here

[Katherine22]

Hi just looking for some support and advice with staying well and coping. Thankyou

I have had depression for over 15 years and now for the last few years suffer with anxiety also. I have been seeing a psychologist for 1 1/2 years but feel it's not helping anymore.

I have overwhelming negative thoughts constantly, I am not sleeping properly and not coping very well atm.

[Katherine22]

Hi Demi, your very sweet! I know you didn't forget bout me! How have you been?

Well I decided a few days ago to take the surgery and I'm happy with my decision.

Yes my daughter is old enough but I feel I don't want to burden her. Her life is busy and complicated enough.

[Demi1]

Hi Katherine 🙂 I'm going great thanks! How are you today? I am so lad to hear that you are putting your health first (and are happy with your decision.) I completely understand that you don't want to burden her. May I ask how old she is? I know it is a delicate topic and sharing is often difficult/ you don't want to let her down in a sense, but in saying that it may help the both of you; as I'm sure she will gain greater understanding of your condition/ how you are going, and you may even find a sense of relief from getting it all off your chest. Although, I guess it is a bit of a tough decision and you may wish to wait until she brings it up herself (which I think is also okay.) I know I have no experience with explaining topics such as this with children (as I am only just an adult myself) but personally (as I had an Aunty with depression staying with my when I was 13, and was just told over and over that "Aunty ... is just sick.") I find that looking back on it, I wish someone had just explained it to me. Or at least emphasised that it wasn't just a cold/flu, and that it is perfectly okay that she was feeling the way she was. I know my opinion may not be valid in the slightest (especially since you never asked) but I just want you to know we are here for you, through the surgery, as well as anything else you wish to chat about x Hope your weekend flows smoothly (especially now that the party is over) and you can find some time to yourself!

Stay well, Demi x

[shoelle]

Thanks Katherine, your so right about being a rescuer, totally exhausting, I dont seem to know who i am anymore, feel like Im in a million pieces.

I think I am a bit of a perfectionist and expect myself to be a super woman. My biggest lesson at present is to just accept my imperfections wholeheartedly without conviction and feel ok with that, then just as you said take one day or even one hour at a time.

It seems such a simple thing to just let go and take the time to heal, yet it is extremely challenging for me to do. As to my needs, they come at the bottom of the list, gets back to that feeling of being not deserving and shame.

Appreciate your kind words and understanding.

[MarkJT]

Katherine, I am well thank you. Great to hear that the apps are going well. If you continue to do it will become second nature so keep persisting with it.

Yes absolutely understand the thought of seeing a new psych and having to go over everything again. It can be annoying but when i got the last one i have (and still have got) i just kind of thought to myself that the more i talk about this the better i will be. Kind of sold it to myself and it worked.

Really encouraged with your progress - so happy for you!!

Mark.

[Katherine22]

Hi Demi, I'm so happy to hear your going great!

My daughter is 22. Yes I totally understand and appreciate your opinion and advice. It must be frustrating that they didn't tell you that your aunt had depression. I think there is unfortunately such a big stigma attached to it that I think that's why people struggle to tell others. To be honest this is why I haven't told my daughter or any of my children. I think though in my own time I would very much like to.

do you have any plans for this weekend?

By the way, I just wanted you to know that I think you are such a lovely smart young woman! I'm so happy to have met you on here and I will never forget your kindness in reaching out to me. Xx

[Katherine22]

Hi Shoelle, how are you doing today?

One of the things that has helped me a lot is meditation. You can get lots of different apps/programs for a whole range of things.

Please try and put yourself first, I know you say/think that your aren't worthy but I'm here to tell you that you are! we are all valuable and deserving of love and kindness and most importantly from ourselves. Do you have any local support groups or community centres that you may be able to attend?

take care and talk soon xx

[Katherine22]

Hi Mark, great to hear from you and Thankyou!

How are you?

I'm doing alot better at the moment thanks and I'm thinking of trying to find a new psych. I am feeling less overwhelmed with life at the moment because I'm off work and waiting for an operation in early December so I can actually take some time for myself and relax a little.

Thankyou so much for taking your time to reach out to me xx

[Demi1]

Hi Katherine 🙂 How are you going? Thank you so much for your lovely comment, it was really heart-warming. I am so glad to have met you also; it is quite amazing that we can support each other in the forums, and find comfort in each other's stories. I am so happy to hear you are feeling better and using this time (pre-op) for yourself. What do you like to do to relax/ have down-time? I love to read and sketch (usually novels by Jodi Picoult, and things like flowers and still life.) I often play acoustic music while I do this, and usually end up falling asleep on the couch haha. Any luck finding a new Psychologist? I have recently begun seeing someone for my PTSD (had two sessions so far,) and am learning a lot not only about myself/how to help myself, but my family as well. I hope the psyc hunting goes well, and they can provide you with an abundance of understanding and support. As for your daughter, given her age I assume she has some assumptions about your condition, but strongly agree that you should talk to her about it all in order to provide her with a sense of closure/ understanding. In saying that, it is your life, and your family, and this is merely an opinion; whatever you think is best is what is the right thing to do xx I hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy your "me-time" 🙂 Cannot wait to hear from you x

P.S. I am flying to Queensland in an hour/ will be away for a week, sorry in advance if my replies are delayed (as i can only post where I get wifi.)

[MarkJT]

Katherine, fantastic to hear that you are going well. Sorry to hear about the operation but at the same time, the silver lining is that you get to chill out. A really good time to practice some mindfulness as well.

I have taken a few days out of the forums just to let the brain rest a bit but and back to being energised which is a great feeling.

Keep the momentum going and remember if you have a bad day, then so be it. Don't be put back by this, it is natural. The coping mechanisms we establish whilst in the midst of a mental health journey serve us really well on those those days that are not so good.

Mark.

[Katherine22]

Hi Demi! How are you?

Thats exciting your in Queensland, Is it for a holiday?

you sound very creative and talented in your hobbies!

I like reading also, I love horses and riding and pretty much anything to do with animals. I have a cat, two bunnies and two dogs. Where we lived a few years ago we also were lucky enough to have horses. I hope to move in the next year or so to the south coast and have a few acres. I really love Christmas too and just in the middle of decorating at the moment. I go all out and decorate the yard and house. I have elderly neighbours who really enjoy it so its a big part of why I do it.

Do you have any plans for the Christmas period? Hope you are well and look forward to hearing from you. Xx