Hi new here

[Katherine22]

Hi just looking for some support and advice with staying well and coping. Thankyou

I have had depression for over 15 years and now for the last few years suffer with anxiety also. I have been seeing a psychologist for 1 1/2 years but feel it's not helping anymore.

I have overwhelming negative thoughts constantly, I am not sleeping properly and not coping very well atm.

[Katherine22]

Hi Demi, I'm going ok thanks for asking, you? Yes this weekend is my daughters 22nd Birthday! So I guess you know I'm not in my twenties! 😜 I'm actually in my early 40's. What are you up to this weekend? Thanks for checking in on me.

I just got a new job this week so that's a positive. I've been struggling more than usual lately I think because I left my last job in May due to health problems and it's been tough finding work again. Having too much spare time can definately be a negative to me too much time to think! And think!

I have 4 kids, 22, 19, 15 and 8 so all are self sufficient except master 8! So alot of my time is my own now. I miss them being little and they are going through their own stages and problems so that can put a lot of extra stress on me.

I also find it extremely challenging when it's someone's birthday as there are a lot of people and alot of chaos around me. I don't cope well at these times, it's super overwhelming.

Thanks again for listening xx

[Demi1]

Hey Katherine ☺️ Oh wow haha, that's quite funny; I guess you just came across quite young at heart (which is a good thing, don't worry.) I'm also just going okay, been quite unwell the last few days (food poisoning 😷,) but I'm finally eating again so that's always a plus haha... probably too much information but thought I'd share nevertheless. My Dr's suggested I relax this weekend, so I have gone camping with my family and two dogs; nice and relaxing and only 5 minutes from the beach!

I can imagine you would miss them being young and dependant upon you, although it must be somewhat reassuring having the extra time to take care of yourself? I am so sorry to hear about your previous job, but also thankful you had the strength to leave and focus on your health 😌 That is a very admirable step! In saying that, I am also excited that you have found something else! Please keep me updated on how it is going (if you wish to of course.)

As for the birthdays, is there anyone close to you who can help take the pressure off a bit? Possibly your oldest 2 children/parents/friends. I'm sure if you express your feelings they would be more than happy to help organise anything/ take some of the pressure off you.

Slightly random but you remind me of myself, in a sense that you like to keep busy/not give yourself extra time to think. Just be careful that you don't overwork yourself/ allow yourself some downtime to process/acknowledge how you are going/what you may be able to do to improve 😊

So glad to hear from you again! Demi x

[Marty1]

Hi Katherine, welcome to. beyond blue. I am a new comer my self. I suffer from major depression and anxiety myself.I have been going through a lot in my life currently and not sleeping, well seems to play a big part in this. I recommend visiting your GP to find some coping strategies or possibly medication for to help you sleep.

[Katherine22]

Hi Demi, sorry to hear you've been sick. Great that you could get away to the beach this weekend! Being near the water can be very relaxing. 😊

Well my daughters birthday yesterday was nice but v stressful and v hot! I just took myself away from everyone for a quick breather but the problem is its every occassion.

Im the one with all of the kids so everyone comes to our house for the last 20+ years for every single ocassion.

my mum sister and husband know about my depression but not my kids, though I think my daughter is aware something isn't right.

Yes I feel I'm better busy but yes you are right you can get too overwhelmed when u are too busy!

I have a new dilemma though, I'm suppose to start a new job this week but now I have received a surgery date in 3 weeks. So now I need to decide to take my new job or have my much needed major surgery. This will mean I won't be ready for work for about 2 mths. I really don't know what to do.

[Katherine22]

Hi Marty, thanks very much for your reply.

Yes sleep really plays havoc on your mind and body.

Thavks for your advice I may try some medication and some more relaxation techniques, all the best for you

[MarkJT]

Katherine, have you managed to find a new psych? I know that this is anxiety provoking. The psych that put me through exposure therapy got a new job and had to leave. I was devastated but then I thought it was a good thing as i didn't want to become to attached to the one person. Seeing a new one was difficult but it worked out well.

How are the mindfulness apps going?

Hope you are going well.

Mark.

[Katherine22]

Hi Mark! I'm going ok thanks a bit better than before. Just trying to keep in the moment. How are you?

The apps are really helping thanks and I listen to them most nights. No I haven't found a new psych yet. Part of me thinks I don't need to and I've learnt enough to be ok but the other part is scared I won't cope. The thought of explaining myself again also puts me off.

[Demi1]

Hi Katherine 🙂 Just want you to know I haven't forgotten about you; just had a very busy week and unfortunately haven't been able to post until tonight. I am so glad to hear that your daughter's birthday went well despite the stress that accompanies these events. I understand that it would be quite overwhelming having the family constantly gather at your place, although I am happy to hear your family (sister, husband and mother) are aware of your depression. Is there any opportunity for you to explain to your daughter? Or is she too young to understand? As for the operation/surgery I think you should go ahead with it (assuming you are in good position financially and can wait to peruse the job offers once you are fully recovered) as I think it is not worth putting off something that will benefit your health. Please keep me updated on your worries/ whatever is on your mind.

Hope your week was alright x

Demi

[shoelle]

hi, just hoping for some support as I have recently separated from a nine year marriage and was instantly isolated from all the people I had formed a supposed friendship with. Have had to deal with a daughter who struggles with Mental illness and drug abuse, for 20 odd years. Cope with and support my ex in dealing with the loss of a limb through a horrific motor bike accident 2 years ago, then deal with a horrific head on MVA that I had just 4 weeks after my ex husbands MVA, which has left me with PTSD. I struggle with social anxiety, wanting to meet new people but not feeling worthy of friendship. I have been the rescuer for family and friends all my life and feel very alone and isolated as I get older as there is no one to support and really listen to me and my needs. I feel guilty and weak when I have bad days. Its easier and less complicated if I just have my pets as friends. they listen and love unconditionally. I know I am a really friendly, caring and approachable person but I have been very hurt and let down by friends, family and it has really shocked and angered me. Have had CBT and I meditate to relieve some of my anxiety and depression. Don't go out for walks as i'm to scared and feel very vulnerable in this angry crazy world of ours. Thanks for the opportunity to enable me to offload in this space.

[Katherine22]

Hi Shoelle, welcome, I'm sure you will find lots of support here as I have, everyone is really lovely and is ready to listen to you.

You have been through a lot and had alot to cope with and it takes courage to reach out.

I understand about being everyone's rescuer and it is exhausting. You are amazing what you have coped with. Please be gentle with yourself and focus just on your needs now.

When things are hard one day at a time is sometimes all that we can cope with and that's ok.

Please take care and know that we are all here for you. Xx