Hi. New Here. I just can't today. I just can;t stop crying over the narcissistic abuse I ave survived.

Scapegoated · ‎05-07-2021

I just can't today. I can't write without emotion. I am completely connected to the abuse that happened to me and this is a good thing, only when you write about this-I want to self-publish an ebook-they expect you to be rational and unemotional. I cannot be uneotional how can anyone who has been tortured be unemotional. I feel so much pressure to write as though nothing has happened. ON Amazon people write books and none of them are emotional. But I FEEL what happened to me. A counselor said this si good, and that people who do not become emotional are disconnected or compartmentalizing. But when I read Quora and see people who have gone through NArc abuse by a mother and elder sibling and they are totally disconnected i forget what the counselor told me-that they are either Asperger people, or disconnected. Anyway. i am crying right now as I write this because it hurts what my mother did to me. I wrote about my abuse but my post was removed. Sorry if there is no context to this post but suffice to say I have been tortured by several narcissists. scapegoated, sleep deprived, starved and gaslit.

Guest_1055 · ‎07-07-2021

Hello,

I am sorry you have experienced all this in your young life. And is not right.

I am also a feeler. And it helps to express what you feel in the written form. All your emotions can flow out in the words. It can feel healing, because you don't have to keep them bottled up inside of you. Especially if there is no one physically in your life you can voice them to.

Some people that sing, play an instrument, dance, paint etc also can do this.

I could be wrong about this.... Sometimes we just want our voice to be heard, for another human to come into our world, to know how we feel, to be known. Just wondering if that is how you feel at the moment?

I could not buy a book that was too traumatic and written with a lot of painful emotions from the author. As much as its good I think to get emotions out. I would feel so much for the person that wrote the book, most likely would feel every emotion they did. Thus be traumatised myself from reading it.