Hi Lovelies! Any Tips on Managing Depression, Anxiety & Over-Thinking? The

[Lil_ant]

Tips unrelated to:

- Medication

- A psychologist or classes as I am always either working or with toddler in tow.

- Speaking to family, because whenever I speak to them about anything all they have to say is 'COME HOME', which doesn't help the situation.

- Speaking to friends. Due to my inability to keep in contact through technology with my nearest and dearest. It would not be fair of me to randomly crop up in my worse state, bombarding them with my crazy thoughts.

I'm also aware that exercise and fresh air would help me.

But I have literally no motivation to leave my bed. Except for having to, to take care of my kids, and work.

Thank you all who manage to read through it all xx

[blondguy]

Hello Lil_ant

Welcome to the forums and for having the courage to post too 🙂

Just to let you know that I used to have chronic anxiety attacks/depression which did reduce in severity with regular counseling. It took me 10 years to grasp the benefit of regular therapy though....whoops!

• Medication....When anxiety or depression begins to have an effect on the quality of our day to day life meds can provide us with a solid platform on which we can heal effectively compared to not being on them. There is always the option to only take a small dosage to enable us to find some peace
• A psychologist is always a good idea however a GP that has a focus on mental health can sometimes be a huge help too...not to mention the cost...(I still see my GP every month for a tune up) Making a double appointment with a GP is a huge step to peace of mind
• You dont have crazy thoughts Lil_ant....Sometimes our mind can become 'tired' and our thoughts can go in directions that we dont want. This is very common when we are mentally exhausted

May I ask you about your anxiety and/or depression and how much it effects your day to day well being?

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to say whats on your mind. Your privacy and well being are paramount to the Beyond Blue forums.

There are many gentle people on the forums that suffer from similar levels of anxiety/depression that can be here for you

I hope you can post back when its convenient for you 🙂

Congrats on your excellent thread topic Lil_ant

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Quercus]

Hi Lil_ant and welcome to the forums,

Reading your post my first impression was one of exhaustion and a reluctance to waste your energy on tips unless they are realistic for your situation. Have I got the wrong idea?

Either working or having a toddler hanging off you is exhausting. The needs of others always comes first and there is never time for self care. I'm a Mum too I do understand that.

I also understand being reluctant to accept ideas unless they are realistic and achievable. That is me too at times. It's easy to say make time to see a psych regularly but that means childcare and finances. Which was why I kept making excuses and going further downhill.

There's a good reason Paul (Blondeguy) mentioned medication and medical care. They are important. I found for me I had left my mental health issues for so long that I needed medication to even feel able to begin alternative therapies. Like you I was functioning (able to work and care for my kids) but I was faking it all the time. Emotional, exhausted, numb, suicidal on the inside the idea of most recommended methods of self care were beyond me.

You're here and that's key. You're reaching out and acknowledging there is a problem. And I agree completely. What you describe isn't ok and you do need support.

So where now? You've listed the kinds of tips you don't want. Will you consider what are you willing to do?

Paul's suggestions are appropriate. You need medical support offline. We can talk too but I am worried it isn't enough just to try give you ideas to try which will just encourge you to keep struggling on alone.

I hope you can keep writing. I'd like to know more about what you have tried and what you're willing and capable of doing to help yourself feel better.

Nat

[Lil_ant]

Hi Paul,

Thank you so much for the post. ❤

I've been extremely nervous about the kinds of replies I might get to this.

I guess medication wouldn't be a hard pass. The thought of being dependant on it has always scared me.

I recently tried one psychologist. I don't think we really clicked. Now I have two days off a week. Both I have my kids until 7. Which is a little late for office hours.

I do love the idea of having someone to talk to though!

I hate my brain. It just won't function normally.

I can't have a single coherent thought without a billion or two other things popping into the mix, which usually ends in me sneaking up to my room to cry, or instantly feeling the need to go back to bed.

I don't really know what this is or when I started to feel this way, as I only have recognized it whilst not having anyone to talk to on a heartfelt level.

It may have stemmed from childhood trauma. But even now, I still feel as if I had it good. Being given hidings for discipline, (most unnecasarrily). Or seeing your mother go through domestic abuse and trying to stop it was so normalised where I grew up.

The worst I've ever felt was when I was pregnant. Not afterwards, so does that jot out post-natal?

I'm just not a nice person to be around anymore. (For my poor kids and partner especially).

I see a problem in everything and anything.

I'm constantly on my partners back about his mother.

My 6yo (step-daughter) has just excepted that when I have worked today. Don't even try to get me to play.

And all my little 2 has ever known is a sluggish, unhappy mum. But I do try most of all around her to be happy.

I hate having to leave the house, or talk to people. Grocery shopping I used to love! But now has turned into my worst nightmare. Work I hate as it is retail. I never fail to plaster on a smile, or enjoy some small talk though. Which inevitably leads me to go home just absolutely wrecked!

In those ways I think whatever this is I'm going through affect my life.

I just want to get better on my own now. I know it's most likely impossible.

You most definately are one of those gentle people, and I again thank you for replying.

Cheers

Ant

[Lil_ant]

Hi Nat,

Straight off the bat, you've hit the nail right on the head.

The tips I have listed are things I have tried, or reluctant to try (medication being the one).

Everyone else coming first hit a nerve with me. That's very true, but just due to my circumstances at present. It's the only way for me right now.

Which is why I

I have her in Childcare for as much time as I can afford already, you'd know the raught! Let alone putting her in for more just to get ME-time which you would understand as a mum too, a certain degree of guilt. (Let alone the outside judgemental forces helping it all along too).

It is all beyond me.

Absolutely and entirely, as I don't want to push my problems on to anyone else, but the only tips for this are just that.

Everything you're saying just resonates so much with me. Functioning in regards to work and basic care of my children. Faking it all time.

All I ever hear these days are 'get over it'. 'You should be doing more with your kids'. Both things I am aware of, I just can't help.

Thank you so so much for your kind and helpful reply ❤.