Hi Introducing Justine

[JustineW]

Hi All

this is my first time posting here. I am in my early 40s and been a single mother for 7 years. My so recently moved out home age 19 and my daughters nearly 12. She has ADD and anxiety. She is very clingy to me. She sees her father twice a year school holidays. Any single parents out there can relate to the challenges. I met a guy middle of last year who is nearly 19 years my senior. We like each other a lot but my daughter won’t accept it. Maybe because it’s the first time seeing me with someone. She has been giving me such a hard time that I had to end the relationship. My daughter was hostile to my boyfriend and made him unwelcome so he stopped coming over and I’d go alone to visit him. Was not an ideal situation. I miss him and he misses me but I don’t see a way to make it work when my daughter was so angry and upset every day because I was seeing him. I want her knowing she’s my priority and nobody will take me away from her, but it’s also hard to lose a man I love. Im wondering if there’s any advice out there.

[geoff]

Hello JustineW, thanks for your post and welcome to the site.

Even though your son has moved out this relationship is still going to affect him, especially if you start to live together and your daughter might worry that all your attention might be concentrated on you with him, but realise you would be giving her all the support you can.

I know from experience, with my ex living with a chap 20 years her senior that my sons weren't happy when she brought him to family occasions and this included myself, but I had no say and talked to her on the phone.

Now he is in a nursing home and although this may not affect you now but later on in life.

You want to be happy in life and that's what you deserve, and perhaps you could write down a sequel for the day so that your daughter feels much happier.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[HappyHelper88]

Hi Justine Thank you for your post and welcome,

I think this is a common thing for kids as they often have a hard time accepting someone else

Have you tried explaining to her that it wont affect your relationship with her and that he really makes you happy?
She should understand that you deserve to be happy
so that she trusts him maybe he can talk to her and explain that he really loves you and he wont hurt you so she will accept the relationship?