hi im new

[depressedallthetime]

hi i am new here

i have suffered from depression for the last 20 years only diagnosed last year i also have social anxiety and as a mum to 3 outgoing kids it is hard some days i barely have the energy to get out of bed, i have just moved towns and i am hating it as i cant even go to the shops without having an anxiety attack

any advice to help

[PamelaR]

Hello depressedallthetime

Wow, 3 kids and moving towns! That would be extremely difficult for most people. When one suffers from depression it only adds to make life more complex. Moving towns is a significant change. Especially:

• finding a new place to live, getting to know the neighbourhood
• organising - new schools for the kids, or new child care
• trying to make friends
• knowing where to shop, or which church to attend

And that's just the start of it. I'd be having an anxiety attack too. Everything is new, unknown and frightening. Anxiety attacks stem from a trigger - our flight and fright response. You've definitely been triggered by the changes that cause 'innate fear', i.e. as humans, we're programmed to respond to danger, the changes you have gone through recently are perceived 'subconsciously' as threats to you and your family. This is normal!!! Moving house is one of a major stressors, moving towns is even more dramatic. So you are okay - nothing unusual or out of the norm.

One thing though, with anxiety, is it needs managing so you don't feel too overwhelmed. I experience anxiety and depression, these stem from childhood traumas. These only diagnosed 7-8 years ago. It's made a world of difference, because now I can take command of my life and not let the anxiety and depression 'rule' me. It isn't easy to manage, however, it is achievable.

If you're willing, think about:

• going to your GP and discuss how you feel and to get a Mental Health Plan. This entitles you to 10 bulk billed visits to a psychologist/psychiatrist/counsellor).
• learning more about anxiety. There is a lot of information available out there. Google 'anxiety' on the beyond blue homepage.
• focusing your breathing when you experience an attack. I.e. Slow your breathing by counting on your in breathe for 4 (or more) and out for 4 (or more). Focus on your breathe as it goes in through your nose, down into your chest, lungs and diaphragm.
• grounding and mindfulness techniques - do a google search on beyond blue homepage.

Let us know how you go.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Quercus]

Hi Depressedallthetime and welcome to the forums,

Mum of three, moving home, new town, new diagnosis.... No wonder you are struggling. I can almost feel the exhaustion through the screen.

Do you have any supports in the new town? Any family or medical professionals you can reach out to?

You mentioned your diagnosis but not what you are trying to manage your illness? Do you see a therapist? Meds? Even a little overview will help for us to know where to begin to offer support and suggestions to you.

I hope you feel able to return and share a little more about your experience. The forums are a gentle place where you're most welcome to join in wherever a thread interests you.

Lovely to hear you speaking out. I look forward to getting to know you.

Nat

[depressedallthetime]

Thank you Quercus

yes i am on medication. i am in the process of trying to find a new doctor who will help with my illness, i was seeing a psychologist before i moved but i dont think she was helping

as for support i have my ex partner ( father of my 3 children) but other than that i have my kids who support me also

i moved due to i was living with my parents and they kept on saying it it crap and i was making it all up and the ex got a new job in a new town and told me to move in as friends and get away from the negative but i am suffering my anxiety is playing up daily and my medication doesn't seem to be working as i am not sleeping any more i am up and down all night restless and exhausted all the time and being holidays i feel even worse as i cant take my kids out as the thought of going somewhere sets off an anxiety attack

[Quercus]

Hi again Depressedallthetime and thanks for writing back. It is a good feeling.

I think finding a new doctor asap is a solid idea. I keep thinking medication review... What do you think?

Is the sleeplessness new? Someone mentioned to me once to ask your doctor to switch when you take your meds. Mine seem to make me so sleepy at about 3pm and then completely wired at bedtime. I tried taking meds at night instead (for me this made it worse) but for others this has worked.

Maybe ask if this is worth a try? Being exhausted is not a good place to be... Even without anxiety.

Ok so you're not up to school holiday chaos... Totally ok! What about asking each child to make a list of things they can do at home? Or let them take turns inviting a friend over? We as Mums don't exist just to entertain. Nothing wrong with kids being bored sometimes. They need to learn to make their own fun. What age groups are you dealing with if that is ok to ask?

If leaving the house and anxiety attacks are really limiting what you feel able to do I think medical help is the best approach. I found for myself (depression though) that all of the self help techniques didn't work for me until I was reasonably stable first. For that I needed the right medication for me. And that can take trial and error. A good medical professional I think makes all the difference.

I hope this weekend you are able to get a little bit of rest. Any way your ex can take the kids out for the day?