Hi I'm new to this forum

[Blue_dove]

Hi

I'm 56 and have had a lifetime battle with depression. One I'm not winning at the moment. I can't even pretend to be coping well. I know I'm falling down a deep hole. I am back to being miserable - almost frozen at times. I suppose I know it will eventually pass but it feels just so awful. I don't have the energy to do things that keep me going and make life better. I'm so tired and am sleeping too much.

I have avoided doing activities I usually enjoy and earlier this year I'd been ok but this has been happening for weeks now. I went to a toastmasters meeting last night the first one for about 6 weeks and while I was there was ok being with friends but now it's 4.30am and I haven't slept and there's nobody to talk to and I think about all the stuff that makes my life miserable.

I am the carer for my elderly Mum who has terminal cancer and I suspect also has depression and is showing signs of dementia. Her gp won't treat or even diagnose depression or dementia unless mum asks for help. So most of the time mum chooses to stay in her room. She rarely goes outside and only goes out to go to medical appointments. Much of the time mum is either hostile towards me or gives me the silent treatment.

I have no husband or children but am fortunate have the world's best pooch.

Feeling sorry for myself tonight.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Blue dove,

I would like to extend a caring welcome to you to the forums. You sound like you’re feeling very down, lonely, drained and exhausted.

I feel depression can be so debilitating because it often depletes our focus/motivation. I get what you mean by avoiding activities you enjoy. Sadly , I feel that’s often part of the depression...

I’m deeply sorry about your mum. It must be so hard to see her in pain and be suffering. To make things even more difficult, it must really hurt when she ignores you or is your hostile. That must really sting...

Your pooch sounds like a truly wonderful friend; the light of your life. I think dogs often make the most loyal, caring and emotionally attuned friends to us humans. S/he must make such a huge positive difference in your life. How blessed are you to have each other...

I’m hearing you on the low motivation and wanting to stay in bed . I’ve had my doona days in the past too so I can relate.

I was thinking maybe you could try giving the BeyondBlue helpline a call on 1300 22 4636 as it can be therapeutic to have a caring ear listen...it also means you can talk while being in the comfort of your home. It’s just a gentle suggestion that you might like to consider...

Plus of course you’re most welcome to continue sharing your feelings and thoughts here. Keep letting us know how you’re going (if you like) if you find it helpful to write here. I feel there are many kind people who would like to support you...

Warm and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[quirkywords]

Blue Dove,( I like your name)

I too welcome you the forum. Pepper has shown you how supportive this community by her welcoming reply.

t is hard enough having depression but you also care for your very sick mother. Carers can become depressed from caring for a loved one.

Have you contacted the carer association in your state, as they can offer someone to talk to, how to arrange respite and help so that you look after yourself.

know you say you have battled depression for many years but caring for your loved one may be making your depression worse.

Years ago when my mum had dementia I felt no one was listening or understood me so I contacted the carers association and there were very helpful.

I don't think you are feeling sorry for yourself as you are just telling us how you are feeling.

I was interested when you talked about Toastmasters. I am glad you were ok there.

Quirky

[startingnew]

Hello Blue Dove and welcome

Both Pepper and Quirky have given you a wonderful welcome

i can relate to you on some levels. i have a mental health issue and also a (young) carer. i was a carer for my nan who had cancer (amongst other things) and now i care for my pop (physical conditions) who i think is starting to show signs of dimentia or possibly something else. Like you i also suffer from my own mental health issues, its a tough gig for sure having to juggle between what our carees need and our own needs.

Watching our loved ones change from what we know, and seeing them deteriorate can be really upsetting and very lonesome, but please believe me when i say your not alone.

Have you heard of the term burnout in the caring world before? if not i would have a quick look and see if you perhaps relate to that as well.

I would also have a look at Carers Australia, National Cancer Institute and also Dimentia Australia as they can offer you support, guidance and have resources online. im not 100% sure but i think SANE australia also has resources for Carers.

Have you heard of NDIS? if not have a look as your mum might be able to get some support and services from there too as well as yourself through home care visits from nurses and respite care.

Also some Gps offer home care visits, so it might be worth having a look to see if theres a gp in your area that could come to your home for checkups etc.

Do you have supports for yourself? like regularly see a psychologist? you shouldnt have to go through all of this on your own.

Please keep talking here too, we are here for you and listening to any of your concerns.

[Blue_dove]

Thank you for the welcome Pepper and your thoughtful words. Am feeling very down.

[Doolhof]

Hi Blue Dove,

I too welcome you to the forum and the community here.

Recently I too have been feeling very overwhelmed by my depression. I get to a state where trying to do anything is so difficult.

My psychologist has been trying to teach me to accept my depression. To acknowledge it and then not to fight it, but to try and do something rather than nothing when it hits so hard.

To me this can seem impossible! The thing is I guess it does help!

When you are feeling really overwhelmed, or hopefully before yo get to that point, can you tell yourself that you understand it is your depression that is making you feel that way.

Can you find ways to distract your mind? Do you like to read, do puzzles, colour in, go for a short walk, play with the dog, something to change your mind and the mood you are in to something more helpful.

I do Sudoku puzzles, I can't concentrate on them and be depressed at the same time!

Depression is something many of us here understand!

Keep reaching out here, people do care!

Cheers to you from Dools

[Blue_dove]

Hi Dools

Thank you for your help. Some days are better than others. I completely agree that I feel better doing something rather than nothing. My psychologist says similar things- one way to feel better is to try to do stuff. She has even suggested sitting in the sun for a while. It's just so difficult to move sometimes.

Today has been better than most. Managed to go on an outing and do some shopping. So was feeling ok until I had a phone call that upset me.

My mood is all over the place. I'll be ok for a while and then someone will say something to get me down and I'll be miserable and helpless. Just trying to ride it out.

thanks again.

Blue dove🕊

[Blue_dove]

Thanks quirky

Blue dove 🕊

[startingnew]

HI Blue Dove,

its nice to hear from you again

did you happen to have a look at any of the services i suggested?

well done on getting out and doing shopping. it can be so hard when we are lacking motivation and are tired as well.

distractions can be quite good, what sorts of things do you enjoy doing? do you have any hobbies?

[Blue_dove]

Thanks startingnew for your suggestions.

I have a fabulous gp and psychologist that I am very fortunate to be able to talk to.

Just a bit overwhelmed sometimes.

Blue dove🕊