Hi I am new to the forum

[WookieesMum]

Hi I am new to the forum, or in fact anything like this. I have suffering from depression and it mainly seems to be centred around feelings of isolation. My hubby doesn’t seem to understand and he is sick of me crying. I am apparently causing him too many issues and I just need to wait to when he is ready to help me. I am feeling lost and a little out of control, and unloved. He is tired of my whinging and he just wants to stop as I am upsetting his day. If I want help from him, I need to wait until he can fit me into his schedule. And when I try to speak to him about it all he gives me is anger and he then outlines more ways I upset him. I just can’t get him to understand how scared I am, and that I feel I am losing control of my life. I have no friends or family to talk to but I really need some help, or even just someone to talk things through without all the negative judgement. I know I am not perfect and need to alter some behaviours, but he just doesn’t feel he needs to alter anything because in actual fact he feels he is the victim in all this. All I get from him is anger, when I really want his support. I am scared and feel so alone and lost.

[geoff]

hi WookieesMum, welcome to the forum and there will never be any negative judgement on this site, so please don't worry.
What is happening with you in regards to your husband is not uncommon, and it's very sad that you've been put in a situation like this, because it's not only that he won't listen to you, but will never understand what you're struggling with and probably have been for a long time, trying to pretend for so long that nothing is wrong, now you can't hide it any longer and need help.
What you need to do is try and handle this by yourself, and as hard as that sounds, maybe it might not be so, but book an appointment with your doctor, that's your first port of call, where they may suggest you start taking medication and then refer you to a psychologist, and don't forget to ask them about the mental health plan, this entitles you to 10 free visits.
You need to concentrate on yourself, that's your priority.
Please let us know what you have decided. Geoff.

[Quercus]

Hi WookieesMum,

Welcome to the forums (is your avatar Wookiee? I love sphynx cats so cute!).

Geoff said it all about reaching out to your doctor I really hope you are able to.

As to hubby if he is unwilling or unable to give you support it's time to look at the other supports available to you and to seek them out for yourself. Where?

• community centres
• women's health places
• sporting or social clubs
• classes or study
• counselling
• book club at the library
• work colleagues
• volunteering

The list of supports out there is never ending you just have to find some that work for you.

You mentioned you don't have friends well it is time to make some. It takes a bit of effort (hence the visit to the GP first to get some initial support and possibly medications or advice on techniques to help with the overwhelming feelings and tears) but being isolated and relying on one person is not sustainable.

You are worth the effort. I hope you feel able to keep talking here and meeting some other members who understand. Take care of yourself please.

Nat