Hi Everyone - I'm a newby to your Forum.

[Robbin1]

Hi everyone - Thanks for the opportunity to share.
Seventeen years ago - I was held - in my home - threatened quite violently for an hour by an alcohol fueled man. The law being the " ass " that it is - the Judge he went before decided jail was not the right way to go - he needed to go to rehab... funny thing is - he'd just come from rehab and had 8 charges pertaining to this issue. !! It took 7 years for the anxiety to hit me and there are occasions when under extreme stress, or hearing of some other innocent soul experiencing similar situations - it comes back to bite me, as it has for the last 6 months. ( now 66 years of age )

Unless and until one has walked that walk, the average person doesn't have a clue, and having read some of your posts can be very condescending, calculating, critical and judgmental of those who have been affected. The real life changing situations are not understood, an my thoughts are with you all.

Nowdays - I attempt to help others in need of support, as having "waked that walk" it is easier to understand. A few words I've learnt to use are listed and have found by using them in every day conversations they help, so am hoping they may assist anyone attempting to get others to understand - very suttle - however so empowering when one see's another's change in attitude.

I don't talk "to" someone/people - I talk "with" them. I "think" becomes I "feel".

"But" becomes " However". I'm "Listening" becomes I "hear" you. I "know" becomes I "hear" you or " I get where you're coming from"

Best of the best... Thank again. Robbin1

[Croix]

Dear Robin1

Welcome here and thank you for telling us all that has happens to you. Being the subject of violence can leave a very long shadow throughout a person's life. I hope that you have both medical and personal support and that the next 6 months will be increasingly easy for you.

You are quite right there is a big gap between those who have suffered a mental illness and those who have not. In fairness it can be a very hard thing to explain and there is a temptation for people to judge by everyday standards instead of seeing how limiting mental illness can be and that many things are just not possible.

It's one reason this site is so popular, here people can almost talk short-hand, there is no great need for lengthy explanations and as many have had very hard times empathy and consideration are common.

beyondblue is heavily committed to reducing the stigma of mental illness and creating awareness and understanding in the general public. Perhaps you might like to browse this web site to see the ventures it is involved with if you have not done so already.

Interestingly enough choice of words is acknowledged here as being of great importance - as you rightly point out.

Perhaps if you read some of the experiences of those here relating to similar violent incidents you might be able to offer some support.

Croix

[Robbin1]

Thanks very much Croix - still trying to find my way around the site. 😄 Living Rural has limitations.

[Robbin1]

Apologies Croix... left the door half open. Living Rural has limitations in regards to medical assistance.

Many thanks.

Robbin1

[Robbin1]

Apologies... am still trying to find how to get to include another post, so here goes. Am sending below to my family and friends tomorrow morning. Thanks everyone.

Should you text me... I'll text back, as soon as I can.
Should you call me - I will always answer . If I'm not available right then - I'll call you back - again - as soon as I can.
Should you email to say " Hi - how are you ? " - a reply will always been returned.
Should you need me - I'm at the end of the phone or email. I too can be supportive and respectful.
If you are so busy day after day and can't find time to make occasional contact when you know deep down you can- where does that leave relationships ? How much is a Dollar or 2 minutes of your time worth ? Don't leave everything up to one person, usually the person who is in the most need of support.
Look outside your window please. Is the sun shining bright in and around your home ? It may be very cloudy where others are. 30 seconds is all it takes to be a sincere and supportive family member - or friend.

May the Sun be shining through your window, however, please - take those few moments you know you have spare, to feel for and understand those , who - threw no fault of their own are blanketed in darkness day after day, living in hope and with dreams that the sun will soon shine though their window too.

Goodnight everyone.. and thanks.

Robbin1