Hi - Be Nice I'm New

[Aprilsnow]

I came to Beyond Blue looking for a support group that may be able to help me to cope with my current anxiety/OCD/Depression. I am so worn out with everything and when I wake up and see the sun is shining again, it makes me depressed as I have to face another day. I am suffering with so much stress right now I have been diagnosed with Telegen Affluvium (hair loss through stress) and it cripples me to see the hair on the floor every morning. The only way to stop this condition is to stop the stress - but easier said than done. I am like a spring under pressure all the time - and just not coping. No longer enjoying what I used to & dont want to go out in public. Life sucks right now. I hope that I can find a local support group that meets evenings or weekends (as I work full time) but so far I am lucking out. Anyway, joined this hoping this may help in some way. I am currently on holidays - but dreading having to go back to work.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Aprilsnow,

I am so sorry for the late response. Thank you so much for having the courage to post about some of your struggles.

You sound as though you’re going through a very tough time. You seem very exhausted, emotionally drained and possibly even burnt out. I feel for you...

I think it’s great that you’re trying hard to look for a support group. It can be helpful to find people who have similar experiences.

I’m not sure if you have found a support group yet but if you scroll down and click on “National helplines and websites”, it will take you to another BeyondBlue page.

On that page, there is a section with a blue title, “support groups and online forums” where there is a link to find support groups.

Perhaps that will be helpful to you?

Anyway, if you would like to share more about yourself, please feel free to do so here. There is no pressure of course but if you would like to do so, the option is definitely available 🙂

Caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Croix]

Dear Aprilsnow~

I'd like to join Peppermintbach in welcoming you here. Sometimes responses can take a while here, please believe it is no reflection on you or what you are talking about.

The hair-loss sounds most upsetting, hopefully when your life is better it will return. Having depression, anxiety and OCD makes it much harder to cope with problems and even though being on holidays can bring a bit of relief there is always the prospect of return to work looming.

You did say you are reacting to a lot of pressure at the moment, would you like to say more? I'd guess your full time work might be part of it, but I am guessing.

Do you mind if I ask about medical treatment, hopefully you do have a doctor and maybe a psychologist or psychiatrist. As my circumstances have changed from time to time I've had to have my regime adjusted as it was no longer effective. Perhaps you might be in the same situation.

Not wanting to get up to a new day, no longer enjoying things and being reluctant to go out are all problems many of us have faced, and you are quite right in thinking reducing your stress will help a lot.

I found to do this I needed to make my lifestyle reasonably healthy, with exercise, nutrition and sleep. Plus most importantly distraction and enjoyment by regularly doing things - such as reading or movies or walking - to take my mind away from everyday hassles and give me something to look forward to.

Do you have things like this? It is important.

On the personal front, do you have people to support you? I found the understanding and care of my partner, once she was away of what was happening, made a real difference.

Please feel free to talk some more, we will be here (even if slow:)

Croix

.

[demonblaster]

Hi April welcome

Sorry you have so much stress it really knocks us about doesn't it

Helpful posts from Peps & Croix who touched on healthy lifestyle, exercise I"d like to talk about, I've found this to be a good outlet for stress, don't know if you do any but I think along the lines of the hard breathing is what gets some out. Mind you it's better to work up to a level of when it's involving hard breathing, I also did that recently, just took in deep hard breaths & hard outs too which helped for a while.

Our thoughts with depression that puts a dark cloud over us can cause a lot of stress by listening & taking them on board. These negative useless thoughts often tend to make us over excited or anxious. I'm learning to let those one's flow or hard talk them away which is effective it kinda brings on the logical no nonsense mindset. Sifting through constructive & rubbish ones, also can be beneficial because by facing the thoughts & thinking about them in a constructive way, I started challenging them why did that one come. Helped

Hope you're able to find some groups & you have here 🙂

[Aprilsnow]

Thank you for your reply & welcome. I did check the Beyond Blue website for support groups but sadly they groups meet during the week and nothing for people that work full time, which led me to the forum. I am now looking for a Mindfullness Group to help manage stress as that is done of an evening which I think may help. xx

[Aprilsnow]

Dear Croix,

Thank you for your welcome and reply message.

No I am not stressed at work, it is actually my happy place there as I have a supportive friend there and it is a distraction. My problems have been personal - I have come from a cult religion and now left & as a result my mother who is still in the religion is now shunning me so I have no contact there, my daughter moved out of home suddenly to live with her boyfriend & my best friend for 11 years betrayed me to try and cause more of a rift between me and my daughter- so 2017 had many losses and heartache.

I coped by joining the gym and exercising to release stress and lost over 25 kilos within a few months in doing so and did not realise I was undereating in calories at the time for months as I was so stressed. Also have a thryroid condition (which is managed) and low iron of 6 (when it should be 70) and being vegetarian the doctor did not stress to me it was that low. When my hair started to fall out I paid the money to go and see a dermotologist privately and he was horrified to see my iron was 6 for so long and could not believe I was even standing let alone exercising hard every day at the gym!!!! He said I have to get the iron up (I went back to the doctor and demanded iron injections as the iron supplments were not working I had been on for years) and the Dermotologist told me to remove the stress triggers as he said once that happens my hair will correct itself as it is all stress related, the hair will stop shedding and regrowth will happen. So 2017 was very bumpy for me. I fe I had so many losses in short of a time & yes, it takes its toll eventually. The hair falling out was a big wake up call to me that things were so wrong and I needed to make adjustments.

I have sorted things with my daughter (well we are on the way to sorting it out) so that is a positive step. She is my only child and we have always been very close, like sisters.

I am trying to help myself and take control back - but it is hard on your own when you live alone & no family - but I will do my very best to get there and get on top of this.............I am trying to focus on the good things I do have - but I still struggle with anxiety feelings but hopefully some Mindful sessions will help me to get coping skills. I am seeing a psychologist in February (she is booked out until then) to help me too, as I would like to try and de-tox from the cult too - so many things to work on for 2018. It is overwhelming.

xx

[Aprilsnow]

Hi Demon Blaster, thank you for your practical advice.

When I first started to get stressed out emotionally I joined the gym as I knew I had to have an outlet for the stress release. I went every day and started with cardio (treadmill) for an hour a day - and now I still go pretty much every day too and do a little weight training (only moderate) as well. It does help and I find that I have a different outlook afterwards. I dont run on the treadmill but I go pretty hard at it on incline and speed as i can for an hour a day - it just helps clear my mind as I work out the stress as I am trying to reduce my cortisone levels (high cortisone = hair loss)

I am also going to try and get some help with how to change my thought processes as I do have OCD - when under stress it rears its ugly head, I have even been known to turn around on the highway and drive back home to check I locked my door before leaving for work !! It is awful, I know it is stupid but I still do it !! The brain just races so fast and I feel out of control. That is where the gym is good as it releases the stress ball inside of me. I feel like a spring.

My mother is bi-polar and depression is high in my family history on my mum's side, so I know the signs. when I was 17 I had to admit my mum into a clinic through the hospital as she was out of control at that time and she got agraphobia with it. But I feel lucky to at least recognise the signs of needing help.

As Neil Diamond says" "Some Days are Diamonds and Some Days are Stones" it is just finding the diamonds.

[demonblaster]

April I admire you're determination to get through all this & what you do to alleviate stress is great.

Wow that iron sounds bad news, I know there's a lot of tiredness with iron deficiency yet you still plough through the gym kudos. Exercise is great for release isn't it, know what you mean

Sounds good that you're going to get onto changing thought processes too, being so active in self help makes me believe you'll get through this. Takes stamina that you clearly have happening.

Yeah being aware helps no end

No I don't think it's stupid what you do with OCD, it's atm something you need to do but again I have no doubt you'll win over that too by the way you're approaching this all.

Yip we'll find the diamonds, they're there....waiting for us

[Aprilsnow]

Thank you Demon Blaster for your words

Some days I am more determined than others and I can have anxiety at any time which can change from one moment to the next. I am not wanting to rely on prescription drugs so am trying other things first. Doctor has prescribed Melatonin for me to help me sleep - only thing is that can take up to 4 weeks before it starts to work!! I am taking herbal remedies too as 2-3 hours a night is not good.

Genetics are against me, but that doesnt have to rule my life or be an excuse to not do something about my anxiety/depression/OCD.

I can see the signs in me now - when I am under real pressure the OCD kicks and I get manic with it - so this is what I have to learn to control / manage - and that is when I hit the gym. Only downside is I am not eating enough to compensate, but I'm working on that, and with the Iron aenemia I am even forcing myself to eat some meat for now as much as it is awful as I have been vegetarian for 5 years, but I am just thinking of it as fuel for my body for now (like medication) and when the iron gets up (along with the injections) I can adjust my diet back to where I am trully happy. I am just trying to juggle so many balls right now.

A new diet & a lifestyle where I am on my own now that my daughter has left home too (I am a single mum) so it is hard. But I joined meet up groups to try and get some outside life & that is helping. I just go out with a group of ladies but I am not interested in dating - I have enough going on without complicating things more (haha).

And even simple things like getting used to my own body now it is 25kgs lighter - I feel I lost my identity there too in a way as it happened so fast and I had no idea it would. To go from 85kg to 60 kg took its toll though and everything is trying to catch up, physicially & emotionally.

No wonder my hair started to fall out - I did everything wrong too quick (too much exercise, not eating properly & not taking better care of me) and all the while I still have held down a full time job and running a home on top of all that.

I am encouraged you think I will get through this, but some days I don't think I will - I have a hospital bag packed and have things in order - but hopefully I will find a new me at the end of this and maybe be able to help others too. That is my goal. To learn SOMETHING from all this - to be stronger and to be useful - to not let these lessons be wasted.

Fingers crossed......................

[Croix]

Dear Aprilsnow~

Thank you for coming back and talking more about your life. I guess in a way we have something in common, I came from a family with very strong religious and social links (father a CoE priest) and was eventually disinherited. Mind you it was the best thing that could have happened.

I guess one of the harder things is realizing parents are more concerned with religion than love of offspring. Also it can be difficult to sort out values afterwards, your remark about detox struck a chord..

You sound a most determined person, it's a pity the iron went so low and also that your exercise took over to that extent, but I guess we all need something to help us cope. Hopefully things are are in balance now.

I'm glad you are reuniting with your daughter.

I've a strong impression you are going to attain your goals and get though all your present hassles. Actually all the problems you have lived though do seem to be almost the basis of a new life for you - packed hospital bag notwithstanding.

You did mention medication, while I'm hopeless at it unassisted I've found the free smartphone app Smiling Mind invaluable

You are being useful already, there will be many in the silent majority who read posts who will find strength and example in you.

Croix