help

[Elliedoubleu]

hi, my name is lucy and im in 9th grade. so far i have been to two therapists and my gp for my depression and nothing seems to help. i get up dreading the fact i have to go to school and will cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it. not only do i get depressed but i get angry and i will start becoming physically violent with myself and sometimes when i get in that state i will get a feeling of sickness in my stomach. my family knows about my depression but doesnt seem to think its effecting me the way it is. i cant think clearly and i just constantly hate on myself. i feel as though everything good that happens to me is taken away from me because everytime i get an oppurtunity it is just taken away from me and that makes me really angry and depressed. i hate the way i am and i just dont understand whats going on with myself and i feel as though im just dragging my whole family down with me.

[geoff]

hello Lucy, boy, I feel so sorry for how you are feeling, but please know that you are welcome on the site.
If your parents know that you have depression get them to ring or you can do it yourself, Reachout and/or Headspace, these are are down to earth people who only dress up in jeans etc and are able to relate to younger people, in other words they can talk the same lingo as you might do
I'm so sorry that 2 therapists haven't been able to help you and that's very concerning, but please don't dislike yourself, just understand that at the moment you have unfortunately got depression, and yes it can be overcome, that's what you have to believe, and please trust me when I say that.
If you look at myself well I was depressed for a very long time, but now I've overcome it, that's why I have been on this site for 14 years, but now that we will try and help you as much as we can. Geoff.

[demonblaster]

Ahh darlin awful how you're feeling isn't it

You're at a very difficult age although schooling is different here to NZ I'm not sure but guessing that's teens yrs.

This is sadly very common in teens, the emotions get scrambled something terrible & being depressed REALLY impacts on them.

True what Geoff said about depression can be worked through, this isn't a life sentence.

I do have a great deal of understanding where you're at I too was pretty much where you are now and got through it which you can too.

Can I suggest gently not being judgemental at all promise, with depression it tends to close us to help which makes it harder, so try when you see professionals to be open to help and take on what they suggest.
We to get through need to work at this from within ourselves as well, that's where professionals can help guide you & listen which helps to unload pain. Be completely open with them, the more they know the more they can help.

As well as headspace that Geoff recommended you always have here to talk more if you like.

Do you have good friends & do they know how you're feeling?

Also with your family can I suggest being honest with them even if you do it by writing or printing your post here, if they don't know exactly what's going on with you they can't support you as much as you need.

Feel for you

Well done for reaching out

Sometimes replies can take a while or people afk so if you keep an eye on your thread here replies may come later

Believe in yourself hun, it helps no end

[quirkywords]

Lucy,

Your post really reached out and touched me and I am sure it has touched many others reading it.

Geoff and DB, have written helpful posts so I use want to say I am moved by your words as I remember being your age and feeling like you but back then no one knew much about depression. I know it is vey hard for you and the feeling you feel so deeply ar so painful .

As you write so well, I wondered if you have thought of writing down your thoughts daily in a Journal. This helped me and even if somedays you dont write much I found it helped me to offload what was churning around in my brain.

This is a safe caring supportive place full of people willing to listen and help. I am one of them.

Quirky

[demonblaster]

Lovely warmth in you Quirky 🙂 beautiful compassionate post