Hello.

[OnlyMe66]

I just wanted to say hello. Ive been really down lately and like many on here, I dont have anywhere to turn. Im 50 and ive struggled with certain issues most of my life however ive never actually been diagnosed with any mental health issues. I guess what im trying to say is I know I am suffering with a mental illness and I know I need to make the first step to see a gp but its just taking that step. My brother committed suicide about 9 years ago and I dont want to leave it untill its too late to reach out like he did. I recognize I have a problem. I have seen first hand what that ultimate sacrifice does to a family and its really not good. At that time I was like most people and I thought what he did was the most extreme form of selfishness. But lately I have changed my mind on that. Ive been feeling pretty shitty for about 18 months now but exceptionally bad for about the last 2 months. My brother suffered for about 20 years before he gave up the fight. The thought of felling the way I do right now for 20 years is just uncomprihensibe. My heart totally goes out to him. I dont want to say too much more at this stage but thank you for providing this space so I can release this. Ive been strong for a long time and supported a lot of people but what happens when the support people need support? Whilst I wasnt there to support my brother( we didnt speak for the last 13 years of his life as he was violent toward my wife) I have been a mountain of strength to my immediate family. If I mention how im feeling to my wife she basically tells me to just harden up. Alcohol is a problem which I have curbed over the last few weeks, ive also deleted my facebook page as i find that really depressing and ive stopped watching the 6 oclock news. Hopefully those measures and being able to chat here will make a difference. Its so sad to see so many young people here. If I can be of assistance to anyone please let me know.

[james1]

Hi OnlyMe66,

I just wanted to say a big thank you for being the kind and caring person you are. Hearing that you want to help out others, even when you're struggling so much, is something that is so nice to hear.

I'll try to keep this short and let others have their say, but above all, I wanted to say thank you and we're here for you too. If you ever also want a friendly voice on the phone, you can also give the BeyondBlue team a call on 1300 22 4636.

I think it is worthwhile going to a trusted GP to tell them about how you feel, and they can give you further guidance. I would stay clear of expecting a diagnosis whether from them or another health professional. Those labels are only useful for the practitioner to know what to expect, but they are not useful for us. For us, we should focus on our feelings and if something feels wrong, we need to talk to someone about it.

I'm sorry to hear about your family situation with not just your brother. I hope you don't feel guilty for what happened to your brother - that was his choice and you could only do what felt right and safe for you and your family. If anything, you should be commended for sticking to that.

I hope you can one day get more support from your wife. It might be worth holding off talking to her now, but when you do start talking to a professional, you can ask for guidance there. It sounds like your wife doesn't understand mental health and that can be really hurtful. It might come down to a joint counselling session to help her understand that it's not something we can just "harden up" to. If she is committed to you, she will agree to consider changing her views.

Hvae you got a planned appointment to see someone? I'd be great to hear back from you on your progress.

James

[Starwolf]

Hello and welcome to these forums.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It seems you know what should be done. Kudos to you for bravely acknowledging there is a mental/emotional issue that needs addressing. I suggest you take this courageous, wise step before it all becomes too overwhelming.

Congratulations on your proactive approach. You have already achieved victories and made positive decisions. This great attitude will go a long way towards helping you manage the situation.

It would be easier for you if you had your wife's full support. Most people know very little about mental/emotional conditions so they invariably end up saying/doing unhelpful things. It is the last thing you need as coping with your situation is difficult enough as it is. As soon as you are on a health plan, your wife will have the opportunity to attend an appointment with you. She will become better informed re what you are going through and what she can do to support you. This info will be taken seriously if it is delivered by a professional outsider.

Please take care of yourself. If thoughts of self-harm become too intrusive, do not hesitate to call the 24/7 helpline. It is there to help those who need assistance over a rough patch. Sometimes, we all need to talk with someone who cares and understands.

Great to have you on board.

[OnlyMe66]

Thank you for the kind words. We are looking up a bit these last couple of days.

[Cold_Mirror]

Hi OnlyMe66. Welcome to BB. It's great that you have reached out for help at this point. Congrats on trying to curb your alcohol consumption - that's a tough one.

I agree that seeing a gp is an important step in your journey, even if you think you are feeling at bit better. The gp can give you some idea of support options that are available to you.

Take care. I hope that you'll keep on posting here. Online forums really do help.

[hope_64]

I just wanted to say hi,I've only been on here for a couple of days so may not always get it right. You aren't only me you are a worthwhile human that deserves the same respect love and comfort as anyone else you are unique by being you there is never 2 people exactly the same. I also wanted to encourage you to go to your gp as the first contact he or her will guide you to a psychiatrist and you are also entitled to psychologist assistance when the gp writes you up a care plan . I have a lot of comfort on this site as I hope you do. Good luck you are not alone.