Hello

[Lolita]

Hi everyone

I've had an account here for a while but have never been an active user on these forums.

I suppose i decided to write this post because lately things have become too much for me and I'm struggling to see a way forward.

I've had depression, anxiety and an eating disorder (on and off) for at least 10-15 years now.

For most of that time time while it's been unpleasant, it has been managable. But the past few weeks I've been under a lot of stress and i think that has caused my depression/anxiety to flare up to the point where i broke down a couple times in a toilet cubicle at work today. And i am cobstabtly feeling like i want to cry and getting amxiety attacks. The external stress won't go away anytime soon, and taking time off worm isn't an option right now. So i thought becoming a regular on this forum and talking about my issues might help me get through it all.

Sorry for the rant, but i am grateful to meet you all and to have found this site!

[Doolhof]

Hi Lolita,

Welcome to the forum and to the community here at BeyondBlue. Hopefully sharing how you are feeling has been a little bit of a relief for you. I recall when I first joined this forum, I had no idea what to expect.

People here are caring, supportive and everyone is anonymous.

You may like to look up some of the information and resources that are available on this site. You can use the phone help line anytime on 1300 22 4636. There have been occasions when I have been at work, felt really lousy and have made a call to that number.

If you don't mind me asking, have you been to see your Dr about your anxiety and depression? Are there things that have helped you in the past?

Do you have hobbies and interests that you enjoy doing?

Do you feel like something has triggered your recent escalation of negative feelings and anxiety?

Are you the sort of person who writes lists? When I am feeling overwhelmed, I sometimes make a list of the things I feel I need to achieve that day.

If I have a list I can tick off the things I have managed to achieve. I also find it helpful to try and do just one thing at a time if possible.

Do you have an opportunity to go for a brief walk during your lunch break? A bit of exercise and air might help to lift your mood a little. Exercise is always good for us.

Is there anyone at work whom you can share how you are feeling?

I've just re-read your post. Seems like stress at work is a huge issue for you right now. Would you like to share some of that? It helps me to write stuff down.

I've asked lots of questions here! You can answer them if you like or totally ignore them. The choice is yours. You only need to write what you feel comfortable sharing.

Have you tried counting to ten or deep breathing to help you relax? (More questions!)

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Little_K]

Hi Lolita,

welcome and thanks for sharing with us, I am relatively new here to but I have found reading others post very helpful a lot of wonderful advice.

Have you been to see your GP about how you are feeling?

I am not sure I have much helpful advixe for you it seems Mrs Dools has you covered with awesome advice. But I just wanted to say how awesome it is you were able to share how you are feeling, sometimes say/writing it down can be the hardest first step.

[Lolita]

Hi Mrs Dools and Little K.

ThanThank you so much for your replies! Reading these on the train this morning gave me such a sense of relief that I almost started crying!

Yes, my job is the cause of a lot of my stress at the moment. I think I've taken on more than i can manage at work and outside of work. And now i don't want to back down. But at the same time i can feel the stress and negative feelings building and I'm afraid i will crack at work in front of my co-workers. Most people would describe me as a happy, bubbly friendly person so hiding what i am feeling is also adding to the stress.

Thanks for your questions Mrs Dools. I haven't been to see the dr yet. I can't take a day off work at the moment so am waiting til things quiet down a bit. But ibe realised that i this is something i do need to do.

I used to have more hobbies, but I've lost interest in them and barely have the energy to do anything after work or on weekends.

I am a list writer too, and this has helped a lot as i also have a terrible memory. I've thought about telling someone at work, but I'm mot sure how much to tell as im not comfortable with this going on my work record. So perhaps telling a work friend that I'm struggling without going into all the detail is the way to go?

Thanks again for your help. I'm absolutely dreading work today, bit knowing i have support here is a massive help!

[Doolhof]

Hi Lolita,

How is your week progressing? It can be really tough when you feel stressed out by something. Okay, so you like to make lists. Is it possible to write down the top 10 things you really need to get done right now! Then pick one and try to achieve that.

In a work place it may not be possible to do things in your own way and time, the trick is to find ways that work for you and to find ways to let go of the stress as well. Not always an easy thing to do.

Is there any way you can let go of some of the stuff you have taken on?

Let me tell you a short story, a few years ago I tried to do everything I thought I had to do. In the end I had a break down and ended up in a mental health unit for two weeks, then took 6 weeks off work. Beforehand I thought I had to continue doing everything myself.

The world kept on going while I was not able to work. I know how hard it can be to do what is right for myself. I still struggle with that, but not as badly as I did previously.

You mentioned travelling to work on a train, what do you do while you are on the train? You could read, draw pictures, listen to your favourite music, plan your weeks menu, write poems or knit a scarf. Maybe!

Hopefully you might be dreading work a little less. I often find that writing how I am struggling helps me to cope better!

Wishing you a better day at work!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools