Hi, my name's Branwen. I guess I'm posting here because I feel like I'm in a hole so deep it's impossible to climb out of but I'm looking for some sort of lifeline.
I've felt sad and tired for as long as I can remember for many different reasons. All my life I've been thinking about gender transition and only recently I've been taking steps on that road. Back in school it was my seeming inability to perform or lose weight and near constant fear of bullying. As an adult, it's been inability to find work in my chosen field, inability to keep a job and inability to move out of my parent's house. I got a job recently and realised, thanks to daily assessment of my performance, that I had serious issues just concentrating and I might have ADD. It was bad enough that I quit the job and honestly, I'm shattered.
I'm trying to get an actual assessment but I'm struggling and don't know what to do. I'm a nervous wreck, I don't have much money to get help and I'm panicky and anxious most of the time. I'm lucky that my parents support me, particularly my mother, but they're retiring to the country soon and none of my options are good. My girlfriend also has depression, so we're a bit of a pair but we're there for each other so I've got that going for me but it's a long distance relationship and I often worry about her. We've been trying to find a house to rent but between unemployment, having a cat and social anxiety, just that much is crushing us.
I'm trying to compartmentalise and take on one problem at a time but every problem underpins another problem and I'm just lost.
Thanks for reading my rambles.
