Hello, new here.

[cmac]

Hello one and all.

I am new to the site. I am here looking for some info and hopefully some answers. I suffer from depression, that has kept me from work for over a month and due to pressure from my employer I have subsequently given notice. Which in some ways is ironic as it was the pressure from my employer, that caused my depression in the first place. His constant criticism, yelling and threats over many years finally took effect and I could not face going to work. I wouldn’t sleep, I gained weight, I would cry sometimes on the way to work in anticipation of the day ahead. In the end I couldn't take it any more and I went to my Doctor for a Medical Certificate for a day off and He recommended that I have counselling.

Some days are harder than others, but I can feel it hanging over my head constantly. I sometimes find myself crying for no real reason, well none that would justify crying. Some days anxiety takes it toll as well . I hope that I will one day be on top of my feelings and my thoughts. Sometimes I feel like that I will never get that person I remember back again. But I truly hope he returns one day.

[Zeal]

Hi cmac,

Welcome to the forum!

It's unfair that your employer treats you badly, by yelling, threatening and criticising. The fact that his behaviour led to your depression indicates that you need to work in a different environment, with a better employer. If you don't mind me asking, are there others in your workplace who are aware of this man's poor treatment of you, or who are also treated this way?

Discontinuing your job role with this man is the best course of action for your own wellbeing. I'm glad you've seen your doctor, and that he recommended counselling. Hopefully your doc can refer you to a good counsellor soon. However, until the source of the depression and anxiety is dealt with (your employer/workplace), your recovery will be delayed or even prevented. Unless your employer is called to action for his behaviour and makes an effort to change, continuing your role in this workplace run by the controlling employer will continue to negatively affect you.

Information on depression and anxiety on this site can be primarily found under the menu bar section The facts. Under Get support, there are useful links. For advice on looking after your health at work, I recommend this site: https://www.headsup.org.au/

I hope you are able to remove yourself from the toxic influence of your employer, and receive the counselling you need and deserve.

If you'd like to talk more, you can post back here.

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome cmac to our BB community of caring people;

Your tale of abuse from managers is an all to common story here on BB. I really feel for you and your situation. It seems you've had quite a trial and are suffering the affects of not feeling confident enough to confront your boss or move on. Finding support from Union rep's or Fairwork (Ombudsman) might help with tackling things from an employment aspect, as well as talking to co workers and your GP.

I understand the complexities of being in an unhealthy work environment and staying far too long. I ended up being medically retired and probably will never work again, at least not with other people. Please deal with this now while you can to avoid symptoms rising and causing more damage.

Zeal has given some great advice and strategies; I hope you can find a positive way to approach leaving and finding better employment more suited to you.

Keep in touch...we care ok?

Hugs...Sara

[cmac]

Thanks for your replies, Zeal and Sara.
The workplace is small and most are friends of his, so they don't offer any support, There really is just myself and one other employee that is treated this way. I have only a few weeks to go and I will never have to see that
place again. I can not wait for that last day.
I have been seeing a counsellor, a couple of times now, it does help. But I will admit I find it extremely hard to open up as much as I really need too. I hope in time that may become a little easier.

I don't relish finding new employment, but I hope things work out for the better. I guess only time will tell.

My self confidence has definitely taken a beating and I guess that is one reason I stayed so long in that environment. Once your confidence is gone, it is amazing how hard leaving really is. ​

[Just Sara]

So sorry for not posting back sooner cmac;

I hope all's well with you. Please be assured we care but are sometimes overwhelmed by the amount of people seeking help. I apologise deeply...

Confidence is made up of many aspects of who you are. For me, gaining some of my mojo back, came with finding my passion and creativity. I'd lost those internal feelings attached to my sense of value and self.

Connecting with others who build you up and genuinely care will also provide a foundation for recovering those lost attributes...still inside of you, but latent.

I see you haven't posted much, could you think about scouting our threads for something uplifting or fun? I'd suggest;

Three things to be thankful for; Staying Well section.

BB Cafe; Welcome and Orientation section

1 Word Game; Staying Well section

You may also find other's stories/threads helpful in dealing with the symptoms of anxiety and depression. I do feel bad for not getting back to you sooner. Please don't let this put you off ok?

Sincere and kind hugs...Sara

[White_Rose]

Dear cmac

Hello and welcome. Glad you found your way here. As Sara has said, there are many people who have been in your situation. The worst part is feeling so down you cannot complain because it takes so much energy. If you are a member of a union it would be good to talk to them.

I have just spotted your post as I have only recently returned to BB after being unwell. Depression is the pits. Opening up to a counsellor can be hard because as soon as you start everything falls out of your mouth and you cannot stop. There are also tears which make us feel silly. Only children cry, right? No, everyone cries when facing deep grief in the way you are.

Has your GP prescribed an antidepressant? This can be helpful in dealing with the worst of your depression. Puts you in a better place to cope with life. Counselling is a long term option buts helps more in the long run. Do you have any family or friends who can support you? It would be good for you to have someone who can sit and listen to you, much like the counsellor but not offering therapy. It is amazingly helpful when someone sits and listens.

Crying is really a good option as you release so much tension. And I guess this is why you cry at unexpected times. The pressure just builds up and needs a way out. Try not to stop your tears, unless you are in public when it gets embarrassing. Let the tears come, it can be quite healing. I usually go to sleep afterwards and I am exhausted. Haven't done this for a while.

I suggest you discuss employment with your GP and counsellor. Once you leave your current workplace you may well feel even more lost as you are out of your usual routine. You may need to talk to CentreLink. This is why it's good to talk to your GP as he/she can certify you are too unwell to look for work.

Please keep writing in. We are here, even if a little late. Now that you are on my radar I hope to keep in contact with you.

Mary