Hello - I'm new

[Mirka]

Hello,

I'm obviously new here and just wanted to reach out and say hello. I'm 25 years old, living/working/studying in Melbourne and have been dealing with anxiety for quite a number of years now. I experience anxiety/panic attacks – very physical symptoms like sweating, dizziness, tightening of the throat/chest, increased heartbeat etc. My anxiety has definitely intensified within the last year, due to my parents separation (which has bought quite a bit of childhood trauma) as well as regular life stresses like balancing work and study. I work 4 days a week, am studying sociology part time and am trying to run my own online business on top of that. It's honestly KILLING ME.

I find uni to be one of my biggest triggers – I HATE being on campus and I HATE tutorials. More than once I've found myself hysterically crying in the uni administration office, which is pretty embarrassing. At the start of literally every semester I feel my mental health rapidly declining. Does anyone else experience this? Some days I feel so ashamed at how incapable I am at dealing with normal life things. All my friends graduated years ago, and here I am still struggling hardcore. It's taking me so much longer because I can only study part time (any more than 2 subjects and I think I'd have a full mental breakdown). Luckily this is my last semester so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel – but for now I'm really struggling.

In terms of family issues – I almost can't bare to face them this point. It's like I've put all of it on the back burner because it's just too difficult to deal with, and I know it's not healthy and I don't want to repress anything, but for now I can only deal with so much.

I've been taking medication on and off for the last year but am now considering taking a different medication (as a short term thing)  I'm pretty reluctant to be on medication but I'm so just so exhausted and would like a break from my own mind.

Anyway that was a bit of a rant – there are many good things about my life and I have a lot to be grateful for, don't get me wrong. I just wanted to give you all a picture of what I'm dealing with. I really look forward to connecting with others who are struggling with similar things and hearing about your experiences/ways of coping!

Much love x

[geoff]

hello Mirka, well from what you have told us you seem to doing an awful amount of work, studying and trying to cope with your parents separating, it seems as though you're pushing yourself to the limit, personally at the moment it's too much.
Have you thought about deferring your uni course, especially when you don't like going there, to me it seems to be something you could do, you can always go back to it at a later stage, maybe you won't but it's causing stress.
What your friends have done can't be compared to you, simply because they wouldn't have been working etc, plus they may have enjoyed doing the course and the social activity.
The medication will help you but it's not the magic solution, you have to consider what else you are doing that could be causing how you feel, and for you to see a psychologistis something which would be advisable, but I'm not sure where you would find the time.
I think you need to reassess how much you try and put into your life, you're over-burdening yourself, you're only young but span out what is more important than not.
Have you started this new medication. Geoff.