Hello. I am new.

[tld123]

I came here as I am finding it hard to cope with a lot of things happening in my life right now. I am usually the strong one who HAS to keep everything together but I am broken.

[Sophie_M]

Hi tld123, 

Life can get hard to cope with sometimes and we are sorry to hear that you are struggling with so many things that are happening for you right now. It must be so difficult to be there for everyone else and then try to cope with all of your stuff on your own. We recognise that you see yourself as broken and wondering if you need to have a bit of a rest and look after yourself at this time.

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

There are supports available for you to access and you are not alone. Please keep returning to the forums and connect with the community. We are here to support and offer a safe space for likeminded people.
 

[tld123]

Hi Sophie_M,

The talk line recommended I come here.

[quirkywords]

Tld

Welcome to the forums which is a friendly and supportive place.

It seems like everyone in your life depends on you but you need to care for yourself.
I am sorry you are broken, Maybe you are exhausted for caring after others.

if you want to explain how you feel there is support here.

[missep123]

Hi tld123,

Welcome to the forums, we are definitely here to listen and support you.

Please reach out to us with however you are feeling.

I find that the forums are a great place to realise that we are not alone and others are here for us or know how we are feeling

[tld123]

Honestly, I am not sure anyone actually cares outside lip service.

[tld123]

Ok. Long story short. Have been with my husband since 1999. Life was great until COVID, death in the family in May last year...my husbands father. It flicked a switch in him and he will not talk to me about it but happy to with anyone and everyone else. He was out constantly getting near black out drunk with his friends and then, up and left me in December. We live on the GC and his father died in Melbourne, so there has even yet to be any actual "real" style funeral. He's acting distant and has since around August last year. In one of his drunken rants late last year, he said he wanted a divorce as he didn't want to live in a loveless marriage like his dad did. Then he will flick and say he loves me. 2 days ago, he flicked back again. It's a lot as I also have daughters who witnessed his change in personality and this rollercoaster. Even with having to be emotionally supportive to them, I also have to just "keep on" doing ALL the things I do. Yesterday was the anniversary of my own dad who passed in 2018. ALL of this prior and then yesterday and all that comes with that, has left me VERY broken. The rollercoaster will continue but I reached out as I was close to breaking point.

[Chunty]

Dear Lady, All I can say is I feel for you and understand what you are going thru. You have got alot on your plate. You did the right thing reaching out to the community for moral support.There are some fabulous people here.Please think of yourself and try to get some professional help to guide you in the right direction. Remember you are not alone. The community forum are here anytime you need to vent.Take care ok?🌷☺️Chunty

[tld123]

Hi Chunty,

Thank you. I just feel at rock bottom at the moment as our daughters ( both young adults) also feel abandoned. His method is clearly flight over flight so even them wanting to tell him how they too feel, is wasted. Any interaction he has with them is surface small-talk and IF they even broach how they are feeling with him...he will say.. "I am not doing this right now" and hang up. He has not at any point taken ANY of OUR feelings into account and frankly, I am now seeing him showing very narcissistic qualities. IF his father dying is the MAIN crux here ( I believe it is), he hasn't even taken into account WE ALSO are grieving that loss. So, right now, I have my OWN emotions to deal with, while having to be strong for the girls andsuport them, as well as having to keep all our financial stuff afloat. So, yesterday, I just cracked. My daughters don't need me dumping these emotions on them. I just feel very alone.

[missep123]

Hi tld123,

That really does sound difficult.We can feel alone when we don't feel heard or emotionally supported. It sounds like it is also a very confusing time with your partner's changes in emotions and behaviours.

How are your daughters feeling about it all?

Have you thought about potentially seeking a mental health professional to speak to about this?

I can understand that you have a lot on your plate too and that you and your daughters are also going through a grieving process. It can feel like a lot is on our shoulders when these things pile up on each other.

I'm really glad though that you reached out to the forums here, I look forward to hearing from you!