Hello. How are you, today?

[hoshinozora]

I am someone who is in their second last year of high school. Even though I have chosen the subjects that I enjoy and is interested in, and is doing my best there, I feel like I'm always misjudged, underestimated and look down on by a pair of people called "parents". Always disencouraged and when I want to try my best, I am restricted in a certain position. Chained. I thought it was because of tradition. However, it turns out to be something else - their personal values. I am never allowed to have privacy. I am never allowed to have my personal space. And when I need help, I get nothing. No advice. No encouragement.

I am never allowed to say my opinion out loud. I am never allowed to experience the world with my own eyes. Bruised burdens on my back piles up with unreachable expectation. And never an ability to decide for myself. It made me wonder whether I should follow what they always said to eversince I was young - "I want you to move out of this house after you are done with high school." Then, when I want to get a part time job, the answer I get is "No".

I wonder what should I do? I really want to aim to become an ophthalmologist or an optometrist.
How should I tackle my last two years of high school and be able to follow the dreams I always wanted to do? I really do not know what to do anymore. How can I become a wingless bird that can fly out of its cage?

[Chloe_M]

Hi there,

Firsly, I'd like to welcome you to the BB from family. You post and you become part of the fam 😊

Ok, so my names Chloe and I'm only 2 years below you in school, but I do year 11 maths so we may be on similar pages 😄

Haha yes... 'Parents'. They are always doing 'what's best for you', always saying that they'd 'do anything for you'. I gave up believing that a loooong long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. I have no personal space either. They don't know I'm on here. They read my text messages. I'm not allowed social media. I'm not allowed my door to be closed, or my phone in my room. I'm not allowed to go to my best friends house because he's a guy. Overprotective much. Overprotective to the point of paranoia. If anyone should be paranoid, it's me. I'm the one with anxiety and depression.

I apparently don't have an opinion either. I said the other day 'I hate needles'. My dad then says 'no you don't'. It old him I was allowed to hate needles. He said I wasn't. I understand you hoshinozora.

It's good you have high expectations of yourself; just don't make the bar too high. I've done that before and has left me in a bad way mentally.

My advice to you is this- work hard, but give yourself a break too. Have some you time. See friends. Relax. You will find the last 2 years easier with a balanced lifestyle. And don't ever give up on those dreams. No matter what anyone says.

You are not a wingless bird.

You are a bird that is still learning to fly.

As am I.

xx Chloe