Hello Notseeking1, can I also welcome you as Sophie_M and Paul have, on a thread that may be difficult for anyone to speak about, however, it's an addiction people may suffer from or have a loved one who is struggling with it.
The trouble when someone does actually stop drinking is as soon as there is an argument or disagreement that's the first resort they start once again, it's the backstop they rely on and will be very difficult for them to learn on another way that helps them not too.
I'm 66 and know from experience that alcohol won't be able to help anyone overcome any type of mental illness, although it might seem to them that it numbs their problems, but you wake up the next day and have to face them all once again.
Being in denial is a mistake that won't help them overcome their addiction, it's realising that they do have an addiction that can't be controlled, especially with themselves, and by saying I'll start tomorrow is just procrastination.
Can I suggest that you have some counselling yourself, the reason is only how you can keep your strength and not weaken due to his drinking, I say this only because it's not what you want him to do, but to be able to manage and not succumb to this drawing you in and suffer, but to cope because unproductive behaviour doesn’t help solve the problem.
How many chances can you give him, my wife divorced me as I used it to self medicate, now I don't drink and we still talk freely when together.
We will get back to you if you want to reply.
Take care.
Geoff.
