Hello all -New to this and any forum.

MR TREV · ‎03-10-2016

Hello to everyone, I am a middle aged man almost 50 years old. I have always felt depressed for a long as i can remember, almost no real friends nearby-no close family,single etc. Recently though things have gotten a lot harder, without details i have been into hospital and my health has begun to suffer. Once i held off feeling low and down by walking and being in public now that brings on new troubles in its self. The few friends i have (less than fingers on one hand) have their own family's and so on to deal with. The only time i see most of them is when they need something or i offer to cook or buy take away and so on. Also not helping there is my job it involves shift work so when I'm working they are not and visa versa. After multiple visits to various doctors going to see them usually makes me feel even worse because of my recent medical worries.

This post i hope will help me to sort out things but even typing it makes me feel sad and very very worthless. To anyone who reads this thank you.

White_Rose · ‎03-10-2016

Dear Mr Trev

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. This is a good place to come and talk about the things that bother you. This forum is usually used by people who want to introduce themselves and not much more. I can see you want to talk about your life so I suggest you move your post to one of the other forums on BB. I expect you will have seen the list when you first logged in. If you do move, can you leave a message here to say where you have moved your thread to. That way I can find you again and so can anyone who reads this post.

Long term depression is a hard road to walk on your own. Have ever been formally diagnosed? I ask, not out of nosiness but because it helps to know how much support you have. I see you feel you have few friends, a situation that many here can understand. I count my GP as a support person. If you have not discussed your depression with a GP it would be a good idea to go and see him/her. Your GP can help in all sorts of ways.

I know what you mean by holding off depression by being with other people. Exercise is not my thing although I do go to an exercise class one day a week. Are you saying you can no longer exercise or just cannot continue to walk? Have you thought of going to the local swimming pool. A good physio can help you with the exercises you can manage in a pool. You can also access heated pools all year. This may not be suitable for you but I hope you get my drift.

I understand the problems of shift work as me and my husband worked shifts. Although you may be working while others are playing there are compensations.You can manage all those jobs that pile up and complete them during the day, attend medical appointments etc. I know it's not an exciting alternative but perhaps you can find activities to do during the day and make new friends that way. Many people attend their chosen activity only on the times when they are not working.

I understand you may not want to discuss your medical problems and that's OK. Can you tell us if the problems have been finally diagnosed and you are receiving the right treatment. I feel all I have done for two years is see doctors. I had breast cancer at the beginning of 2015, surgery, radiation treatment, medication, follow up doctor's visits. Sometimes it feels as I do nothing else. Then I had hip surgery early this year and two other procedures. There are times when I have felt if I never saw a doctor again it would be too soon. I'm out of words. Please write in again.

Mary