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Haven't properly left the house in 8years
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Im 29 and started struggling with anxiety when i was 21. It basically came out of no where and i didn't know what to do. I didn't realise the signs as I'd never had it before. Next thing i know i was having panic attacks anytime i had to leave the house so i stopped doing it. Food shops could be delivered. Clothes and everything else all could be delivered. I had no reason to go so i didn't. Over the years, I've managed to go out once or twice a year. I was seeing a psychologist at the start until she started speaking of going for walks and i freaked. By the time i was ready to go again, she'd moved to a new clinic and i was afraid to go there. I lived with my dad and i did dog sitting for years so i never really felt like i wasn't working or doing anything. Over the last year though i moved in with my nan instead. Now im not being productive with dog sitting anymore and its all piling up. I only feel safe leaving when my sister or sister in law are with me but 1 lives out of town and the other has a 1yr old & her own family to manage. Im just stuck and i feel anxious 24/7. I lost contact with most of my friends so i really only have my family to lean on but dads fifo, mum & sister live 12hours away and my brother has his own family to worry about. I just don't know how to start going out. Its all come to a major head with talks of my nan going into a care facility. Living with dad again means moving to a whole knew area an hour away from my brother where i know nothing it that area.
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Hello and welcome to the forum.
I’m very sorry that you’ve experienced a long struggle with anxiety and being able to leave your home. It sounds as though the potential changes to your living arrangements have prompted you to reach out for support. I know this takes courage, so well done to you.
I also know that things can get better. Anxiety disorders can be treated and many people can recover. My daughter is a case in point, overcoming many challenges associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
I’m wondering if you’ve ever received a diagnosis for why you have a fear of leaving the house? I’m not a doctor, but believe this fear could be related to agoraphobia, OCD, trauma, social anxiety or perhaps something else. Seems to me this would be the place to start.
If you receive a diagnosis, you can then receive the right treatment.
I suggest you start the ball rolling with a GP visit (this should be possible via Telehealth) to seek a Mental Health Care plan and a referral to the type of specialist who can help you.
I’d encourage you to take this one step at a time and to be kind to yourself along the way. You can’t heal overnight but you can heal with time, the right practitioner and the right treatment.
I know you feel pressure as there is talk of your nan transitioning to a nursing home but in most cases this takes time to sort out.
Congratulations on taking an important first step here at the forum. You are welcome here always.
Kind thoughts to you
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Hello
I'm sorry that you're going through this. Panic attacks can be very scary and hard to deal with. It can all feel so hard and emotional. It's a really good start that you're sharing your problems and looking for help. I got some strategies that can help little bit but please don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for professional help as that can make dealing with this much easier and less exhausting. I hope this helps little bit, it's what I usually do:
- relaxation techniques - I think it's very important to learn how to calm ourselves down and keep calm, any gentle physical activity can helps me a lot. Also understanding that it can be just in our mind and that everything is ok. I know that it can be very hard to do, sometimes it even feels impossible but it's worth trying.
- aligning with reality - our imagination can sometimes go wild, it can help to focus on what is outside of our head rather than what is in our mind. It can clear out confusion and can make our relaxation techniques more productive.
- visualisation - sometimes picturing in my head doing whatever I want to do can help a lot too. Picturing it with as many realistic details can prevent a lot of surprises and helps to get ready for when we actually decide to do it.
- baby steps - every little tiny steps towards getting better counts. It doesn't matter how little it is, it can be one foot out of the front door. All it matters that we're progressing and please reward yourself for and be proud of yourself, any step can be very hard but it counts. As I get more confident, it's ok to make the steps bigger but only when I'm ready for it.
- practicalities - It can help to have practical approaches ready when I know that I'll face something that can trigger our anxiety. From your story, I noticed that you're coping better when someone familiar is with you or when it's a familiar environment. Maybe knowing and reminding yourself that you can always call your family when things get too bad as sometimes just even a phone call can make us feel much better. Also, familiarising with the environment first can help too, like looking up the location, understanding the way to get there and way back home, knowing that we can always call a taxi to get safely home.
I hope it helped little bit. Please take care and let us know how you're going or if you have any questions
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Dear Guest…..🤗🩷,
Im so sorry that you’re going thought that…Anxiety is not fun at all…
After my husband passed, I isolated myself and like you hardly ever went out and when I did it was always with someone…I was on centre link benefits (job seeker)…After around a year I was told if I didn’t volunteer myself each week, my benefits would stop…at that time I didn’t really care but once my bank account became a zero balance I had no choice….I started one day a week at a well known charity…it was so hard at first, many breakdowns and panic attacks were constant…It did become easier the longer I was their…Now a few years later and now on aged pension, even though I don’t have to, I still volunteer….maybe if you can try to volunteer a few hours a week somewhere local it might help your anxiety to start to become less…not sure but maybe worth a try…
Just wondering if you’ve talked to your Dr about how your anxiety is controlling your everyday life…making it hard for you to leave your home…Your Dr can help you, anxiety is real and in many cases needs to be treated by either meds/ professional counselling or both…learning to understand what anxiety is and how we can control it ( instead of anxiety controlling us) is something that professional physiologist or counsellors can help with…Do you think that reaching out to your Dr is something you might do?
Thinking of you with kindness and care,
Grandy..
