Goats don’t get lost.

[Adam2]

Here I am. 54 years old, suffered from depression all my life and now my marriage is over. I spent the last 22 years building what we have and despite a gambling habit that saw me lose some money about a year ago, we own our home, kids education is paid and my eldest was given a near new car, free. Our children have everything they need.

My wife claims that I have treated her poorly and wants a divorce. I didn’t agree and tried everything I could but it’s only made matters worse.

She wants me out and claims the house should be hers because I spent money gambling and in any event she wants custody of the three boys aged 19, 16 and 13. The thirteen year old has a disability.

i have tried to reason with her that I also need to start a new life and I also need a place to stay but she doesn’t care and puts me on a guilt trip.

i am really tired, confused and lost.

[Quercus]

Hi Adam2,

Welcome to the forums and I'm sorry it took a while for a reply. How are you holding up?

Maybe I am mistaken but there is nothing to compel you to leave the house right? Ok if she wants a divorce then she can leave. You want to work through this. Your kids have a safe family home and nothing is forcing them to leave. In my mind I would be going through three steps...

Refusing to leave. This is your home. If she wants out let her leave. The kids can stay with you. Or you can both stay until the house sells. But it is not right that you get kicked out. Is that even legal?

Counselling. Will she agree to it? Why is she all of a sudden so angry? Is there another man?

Legal advice. Try keep it civil but at the end of the day does she really have the right to make you leave? I'd want some legal advice. And also to find out your rights to joint custody of the kids.

I don't know if this helps I'm sorry. But my friend's Dad is going through a difficult divorce and he stayed put and she stayed until the divorce was settled and he kept the house. My point is this doesn't sound right to me. Find out your rights.

On another note please take care of yourself. An appointment with a counsellor might be a very good idea just so you have more offline support.

Please write again if you feel it helps you.

Nat