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Getting to know someone new

Community Member
I've never been in a same sex relantionship before. Although I don't see gender as I'm Pansexual. This woman that I've started talking to we have so much in common. We laugh about so much stuff and have deep and menainfuls But I'm afraid She is starting to have doubts about her sexuality as she isn't flirting as much with me as she did in the beginning.Unless of course I'm imagining things. I've never felt this way about anyone before I am really connected to her and attracted and I really don't want to get my hopes dashed. It may be too late for that.
3 Replies 3

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Melodyharmony,

Welcome to the forum & thank you for posting.

Relationships sure are tricky. I've not been very good at being in relationships. & have embarrassed myself a few times because of my interest & discovering the interest was not shared.

I think though, if you both are able to sit & talk, maybe several times, about what you want in your relationship, how you feel about gender identity, romantic interests & sexuality & with respect, hear each other out. You'll better understand where you stand with her, & she with you.

I could not promise this will give you the relationship you want. For you, I hope it does, but you need to be prepared for the possibility that, it may be too soo & she is not ready, or she does not feel as strongly attracted to you as you do to her, or she may be trying to work out her own sexual identity & romantic interests & is not sure yet.

Are you willing to slow down & give her time, if that is what she needs?

Would you accept being friends, with or without the flirting, knowing that's all it is?

I hope that helps a little.

I'm sure others will be by to chat, soon.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Thankyou for your post and welcome,

I know its difficult to do when you really like someone but things generally happen naturally I think it wouldn't hurt to slow down your thoughts and not have too many expectations at the beginning until you are on the same page
Maybe its even too soon to chat about where this is going but could chat about your sexuality and hers so you are able to understand her more

Also our mind does play tricks on us sometimes so she may be flirting less or you may just have that perception has happened to me before

I hope this helps

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Melodyharmony,

Thanks for your post! Starting a relationship is often complicated, and we overthink a lot of things because we are just starting to know a person and we want them to like us. But, communication is always key to understanding where things are at. Possibly asking her where her thoughts are with the relationship, if she is wanting to continue with the relationship, or even just remain as friends. She may be flirting still, but flirtations even change as relationships continue, and the person becomes more comfortable.

Looking forward to hearing from you! x