First Timer here..

[NLW23]

Hello,

I am new to this site, I'm here because I am first time mother and I was hoping to get any advice/information in regards to my situation.

My partner has severe depression and we have only been together for a year, I unexpectedly fell pregnant after only a couple of months together, despite the many ups and downs that have come from that situation we have stuck it out together, however after bub was born I have noticed my partner is slowly regressing into himself.

I have tried to get him to get help, but he thinks nothing works as he has been going through it since he was kid and we are both now 23... Ive had a pretty horrific pregnancy and ended up needing to give birth early, after discussing my issues with my GP she is under the impression that I am going through post natal depression, which I am still unsure about. I am constantly freaking out because my child deserves to have two mentally healthy parents, but right now that is not happening.

I try to be supportive to my partner, but I feel so down that it is hard for me to be there for him plus all the sleepless nights doesn't help, any advice would be much appreciated as I am at a loss as to how to go about getting him help..

Thanks,

[white knight]

Hi NLW, Welcome

New mum and tough times. I recall being a young dad and my daughter had cholic. No sleep!

Firstly its giid you are being supportive to hubby however he has to accept his needs are behind your baby now.

You might have to coax him to realise you need him to cope a little more with his own issues. No good if both if you collapse.

Here are a few threads that might help.

Google

Topic: depression the timing of motivation- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue

Tony WK

[NLW23]

Hi Tony,

Thank you for your response, I have tried getting him to look into the links you have suggested, however he is very stubborn and refuses to even try, at this point he thinks nothing will help, I have tried to get him to see the bigger picture with baby and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but that has not helped at all.

I hope in time he may come around but his depression has been around for a very long time and he iust wont accept any help, im so close to giving up because how can you possibly help someone who wont help themselves ? Feeling so lost..

[geoff]

hello NLW, congratulations on your new baby, however even if the mum doesn't have PND doesn't mean that the father won't get it, and being in denial isn't going to help him.
Why don't you click on 'Get Support' and scroll down to where you see 'Publications to download or order', if you can do this a small booklet published by BB will be able to describe most things about depression, you can leave it on the table and hopefully he may pick it up and start reading it.
Ask him to go with you when you see the nurse for your fortnightly or whatever check and then bring up the topic or even with your doctor, it has much more strength coming from a doctor, however if you do feel as though you could have PND then please talk about this with your doctor as well, they may prescribe medication and then refer you onto a psychologist, under the mental health plan, which entitles you to 10 free visits. Geoff.