First time doing this sort of thing

faust22 · ‎23-11-2016

Hi everyone. A bit nervous about this whole posting thing.

I suppose I should try and summarise.

I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for a long time. My parents were never supportive, and we moved around a lot (like moving countries every 2 years). I had to leave home to be able to study as they didn't approve, so I loved in with my boyfriend. The relationship has always been rocky and when I decided to have a termination 2 years ago things got alot worse it's not abusive or anything but neither of us are happy. But I have no friends or family and nowhere to go. And now I've finished with ink I have no job. I studied film and Theatre so no jobs to be had but art is the only thing I'm any good at.

Basically I'm reaching out because I feel so alone in this, I feel useless and hopeless.

Proper_Etiquette · ‎23-11-2016

Hi Faust22,

Welcome! Like you I am only new to BB and I was nervous about posting on here. It did feel great though to be able to get things off my chest and see so many people suffering similar issues.

The other users here are incredibly friendly and supportive and I am so happy that I found this place, being able to talk about what's going on in your life without being labelled or judged by others.

I hope your boyfriend is a good support for you, I know how difficult it can be when your partner doesn't understand that it's not by choice that you suffer through these things. I got labelled 'weak' and 'not a man' at times by my own partner whilst struggling with anxiety and I think that hurt more than the anxiety itself.

A lot of people struggle to find work these days, I live in what seems like the unemployment capital of the world a the moment. Being proactive really helped me find work after I was made redundant 2.5 years ago. Not just about looking for work but trying to improve other things in my life like fitness and health, that way when an opportunity comes up you are ready for it. Don't let it get to you if you don't get phone calls or interviews from employers, it's not a reflection on you at all as many resumes don't even get read, and finding work can take time. You will get there if you keep plugging away at it! Employment agencies can be a great help these days too and is how I found out about my current career. Centrelink can usually hook you up with them if you ask.

I love that you are into art- I am about as creative as a potato but I would love it if I had that kind of talent. Even if you have to work in another industry for a while you can keep the dream alive!

Best wishes and good luck!

blondguy · ‎23-11-2016

Hi Faust22

Welcome to the forums and good on you for posting too!

Please dont be nervous....there are many kind people here that are going through similar as you are

Im sorry to hear that your parents were not supportive and moving around a lot too, which is not a help to your development. I went through the same....and its a crappy place to be in.

You are not useless or hopeless in any way. You are a very strong person to have reached out and posted 🙂

Can I ask if you have even a small support network? (even a couple of friends)

I hope you can stick around and have a chat with us...

you are not on your own here Faust......

we are here for you

my kind thoughts for you

Paulx

BballJ · ‎24-11-2016

Hi Faust22,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Just to echo Paul's comment above, you definitely are not useless or hopeless, posting here is one hell of a strong thing to do and you are not alone either.

Hopefully there is a small support network of close friends for you to lean on in these times, but you can always post here and as you can see, get a response and be heard where else you may not feel that.

We are here to help where we can so feel free to post back as much as you wish.

My best for you,

Jay

Ellu · ‎24-11-2016

Dear faust22,

I'm glad you posted, you will find a lot of like-minded people on these forums, people who can relate to what you are going through and help give you support. Tell me, have you ever considered getting some professional help with your problems? If you break a leg you go to the doctor, right? If you are having problems with anxiety and depression you could see your GP and ask to be referred to a psychologist. Your GP can help you with medication for the anxiety/depression if appropriate, and your psychologist can help you talk through your problems and help you find your way. Please consider this, because you have no idea how liberating it can be to talk to a professional. My son saw a psychologist in his last year at Uni because he was having some problems, and the change in him was extraordinary.

You are going through a bad period in your life at the moment and I can see it is really affecting you. I hope you will take my advice and things will look up soon.

Surviving

faust22 · ‎24-11-2016

Hi Paul. Thanks so much for responding.

Unfortunately no I don't have anyone I can lean on. I used to play guitar to cope but lately haven't been able to do even that.

I've never been good socially and have always been rubbish at making friends.

Sorry if that sounds overly dramatic, I'm usually fairly happy with my own company but lately it's been a struggle.

Thanks

geoff · ‎25-11-2016

hello Faust, welcome to the site and for posting your comment which is never easy to when you haven't posted before, only because you think that there will be a gorilla waiting at the other end to grab you and destroy every bit of you, well no that doesn't happen here, we have been through our own various type of depression, struggled and suffered in every possible way that we never thought was possible, but yes it has, so you're not in a strange environment.
There is no point in staying in a relationship where you have given it your best, but neither one of you is happy, because it only makes your situation so much worse and will take you so much longer to recover.
When you become like this then what you used to love to do won't appeal to you anymore, and even to get back into playing the guitar may take quite awhile before you even think about picking it up once again,this isn't any fault of yours, this is a disease which controls you.
There's also nothing wrong if you want to be on your own as long as this illness isn't creating this problem, but I hope that you can keep your post open so that we can hear back from you. Geoff.

faust22 · ‎25-11-2016

Hi,

Yeah I just went to my first Jobseeker appointment. Basically didn't go well. They wouldn't even read my creative cv I have (I've been doing constant creative volunteer work while studying over 5 years) so everything I've done is redundant. Unfortunately the only thing im good at doesn't count as "real work"