Feeling undesirable and lonely

[Unwanted]

Hey and I apologise if I am posting in the wrong place but am new

I honestly don’t know what to do I have my own apartment, my own business and a stable life but no matter what I do I can’t get dates or even friendship. I have tried singles events, so many online sites and it always ends the same one date then a message saying they just want to be friends…I remember when personalities and a stable financial life was important now it’s just looks and money guess I don’t have enough money or good looks so am at my wits end I am hoping everyday I find someone but not sure how much longer I can keep fooling myself any advice is appreciated thanks for reading hope your all doing better then me 😞

[Unwanted]

I sincerely hope each and everyone of you are doing ok and are all having a better day then yesterday 

I am sorry therising I really am and I am thankful for everyone of you for your feedback and advice

[Empathuniverse]

Maybe the universe is saying that you dont need another person to be happy? Are you happy with your life for yourself? Why does everyone feel the need to have a significant other. I feel like when we are content in our own lives thats when things unfold for us and what we love in life. You cant force stuff like that. You could maybe nudge it along with having more friends of the opposite sex, but you cant manufacture the experience of falling in love or expecting to have perfect dates or even loving at first sight. Life just aint like that at all. Love is supposed to be a suprise not an expected thing and maybe you might not even recognise it right now because yiu are trying to find it so hard you might be squinting.

I am a big believer if you are content with your life anything else is just a bonus. Why do we feel another completes us. Be content with loving yourself and having healthy friendships when you establish this its easy to fall in relationships as you have a steady foundation of caring and working with yourself and others. Find out what you really want and need and then you may be able to give to the relationships that matter in your life. Your relationship with no 1 first which will set the healthiest base and then loved ones. Focus on getting that relationship right 1st 

[Wanderer11]

I'm not sure if you'll even see these comments so many months on, but I wanted to say this post really resonated with me. And I hear you and I feel for you Unwanted... It can be gutting and disheartening to continuosly put yourself out there, and get rejected or made to feel like you're not enough for others... I'm sending my thoughts and care to you, and please know you're not alone.

I really appreciate what you're saying here Empathuniverse... I'd love to get to the point where I can feel full and happy being alone, rather than lonely... I'm an introvert by nature, but within a couple of days of not leaving the house or talking to someone the loneliness hits hard... Coming home from work every night to an empty house, going to sleep/walking up in an empty bed, the loneliness hits worse at night... I'm 33, I feel I have a good relationship with myself and understand the things that make me happy, and genuinely enjoy time with myself, so I'd love to unlock that happiness and content in my individual space long-term... I'd love to be in that space you mentioned with not needing another person to be happy... I agree whole heartedly with the sentiment, and believe it to be true - any tips on how to get there and manage through those trickier/lonely moments? Appreciation in advance, and sending my care to everyone here.

I'm not sure if you'll even see these comments so many months on, but I wanted to say this post really resonated with me. And I hear you and I feel for you Unwanted... It can be gutting and disheartening to continuosly put yourself out there, and get rejected or made to feel like you're not enough for others... Please know, you are enough. I'm sending my thoughts and care to you, and please know you're not alone.

I really appreciate what you're saying here Empathuniverse... I'm also single and not seeming to meet anyone that wants to have a future with me... But reading your words, I'd love to get to the point where I can feel full and happy being alone, rather than lonely... I'm an introvert by nature, but within a couple of days the loneliness hits hard... Coming home from work every night to a dark empty house, going to sleep/walking up in an empty bed, the loneliness hits, and hits worse at night...

Any tips? I'm 33, I feel I have a good relationship with myself, knows what makes me happy, and genuinely enjoy time with myself. So I'd love to unlock that happiness and content in my individual space, long-term, not needing another person to be happy... I agree whole heartedly with the sentiment - any tips on how to get there and manage through those trickier/low/lonely moments? Appreciation in advance, and sending my care to everyone here.

[randomxx]

Hi again op and same as above, not sure if your still about. But first thing l noticed was you saying have this am doing that , paying for this , housework and all.

But all that stuff is only secondary often more like 10thly there's much more important things to start before any of that even comes into anything but yeah  and she has to show and do her share in all that too though none the less too but that's all later on anyway.

lf there's no connection though and yeah , mutual attraction too but look that comes in many many shapes and forms just look down any busy street or say shopping mall or wherever at the couples. Couples of all sorts and combos of anything you can think of and very very few of them are models or well off or this or that, 90% of the people out there are just people, just like you or me.

Thing is, connection and yeah sure some attraction, are the things that come first and foremost but as l say they can also come in just about any combo you could dream up.

But they're the things that make you both want to go further and even be together in the first place and that's where you start looking.

Anyway, keep the faith and as some have said, things can happen and do everyday at any age and stage in life, 35's nothin.

rx

[TrueSeeker]

Hello Wanderer11

I'm so sorry that you've been though all that and I can understand how you need a break. Hobbies or learning new skills might help a lot with keeping yourself entertained. It might help you to put joy in your life again.